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Original poster

Christmas do cheaters!

333 replies

youcanthandlethetruth · 13/12/2018 15:28

Just curious as to whether this is the norm

One woman I work with is having an affair with two married men in our office. Which she and they have since admitted to. Notably was seen getting into a taxi with both following the Christmas do!

On the same night of the Christmas do, another woman kissed a man who just got married last month. Seen kissing a few times in front of everyone! When I asked her about it she said “awk it’s just one of the those things.” She also cheated on her partner earlier in the year with a different man we work with.

Another younger girl who just started in the office last month is also suspected of being overly friendly with another married man. Everyone suspects an affair but this has never been confirmed.

Thing is - none of their partner’s know. I know this for a fact from various conversations throughout the year.

And my male boss has admitted to fancying someone else in our office. He always says that if he got the chance to have a night with her he’d take it (again he has been married for a long time)

Am I the only faithful person out there. How do people do this with no conscience. I would feel wick if I did that on my dp.

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 14/12/2018 19:31

While there’s no cheating in my workplace, there are a lot of romances and workplace couples. I think it’s the amount of time everyone spends with each other.

Boulty · 14/12/2018 19:32

Similar when I worked in finance - no partners at the corporate events which were held in hotels and overnight stay required due to distance etc... I was one of the few 'odd' ones out since I didn't play away. The majority did though

ResistanceIsNecessary · 14/12/2018 19:33

I work in financial services. Christmas party shagging is rife. I CBA going to them anymore TBH as it's the same drama every year; someone gets into a fight over the pretty young lass in accounts, an exec cops off with someone half his age, both married (not to each other), the same faces play musical beds with each other.

Pretty tedious.

AlbaAlba · 14/12/2018 19:34

Civil Service here, don't know if it's the austerity budget cuts which mean that xmas parties are rare, but I've never seen this kind of behaviour. People are more likely to be found having intense political discussions. We do travel a lot in groups, internationally, where days are very long, there's alcohol etc, we bond a lot, but again, no affairs that I'm aware of.

Academia, yes, especially hook ups at conferences, in broom cupboard and such. Field work was also a hotbed of liaisons both illicit and not. Think it's the being away, bonding in tough circumstances and plenty of alcohol - but that's part of my professional life now, and I've never seen an affair.

Dimsumlosesum · 14/12/2018 19:40

I find it deeply sad that humans, throughout all time, are so happy to cheat. If you want to kiss other people, fine. If you want to shag around, fine. But, if you KNOW full well the person you are with will be distraught to find out about your infidelity, I mean, god damn it but don't be such a selfish fucker, just leave them! Then you can do whatever you want, and fulfil your lust and your ego and your unfulfilled heart as much as you want.

Baffledmummy · 14/12/2018 19:43

I feel like but is age related. On my field it was rife up to early 30s...beyond that,,nobody can be arsed anymore!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/12/2018 19:47

OneManWoman Surely, if you/your wife were that confident about your marriage, you wouldn't have needed to show her random photos - and she wouldn't have directed you to this nonsense thread.

It wouldn't occur to me to show my husband this thread or photos from my Christmas do.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 14/12/2018 19:51

Surely, if you/your wife were that confident about your marriage, you wouldn't have needed to show her random photos

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I show my DH photos of my nights out because I enjoy them and want to share how my night was with him.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/12/2018 19:57

Sure, What, but not as some kind of 'stamp' of fidelity and what a tremendously faithful spouse you are.

PlatypusPie · 14/12/2018 20:03

At a professional firm I worked at, a very dour senior member of staff and his apparently straightlaced secretary used to have a quite weirdly passionate public snog at some point during the evening, every year. No other relationship between them, their daily work style was very formal, he never referred to it and she brushed it off with a laugh, blaming the whole thing two glasses of wine. Until the next year.

EUnamechange · 14/12/2018 20:03

Thinking about the tameness of Civil Service nights out, wonder if it's because in sensitive areas you have to be careful to be un-blackmailable. If I had an affair I'd have to (1) tell my husband and (2) tell the people who do our security clearance. If they found out about the liaison from social media or during their checks, and you hadn't told them, then you'd probably lose your clearance and then your job. Focuses the mind.

I know the vetting people get to hear some pretty weird stuff, but I'd still be mortified if I had to admit something like that.

EdWinchester · 14/12/2018 20:08

Not where I work.

We are all happily married, apart from a couple of singletons who are definitely not fooling around.

2isabella2 · 14/12/2018 20:24

My work is ok, partners are welcome to come along though so guess that helps even though most of us don't take them.

My husband is a police officer, good job I trust him implicitly reading some of these posts! Though partners are always invited on their nights out too, I used to go more before we had children but normally leave him to it now.

canigetaliein · 14/12/2018 20:25

My experience is similar to most on this thread which is why i’m always suprised on other threads when people are so confident that their partner would never look at another, behave inappropriately etc.

At one of the first companies I worked with I had a bit of a bond with an older women in a senior position. I really admired her, great at her job, kids, nice car/house, living the dream. She later confided in me that she was having an affair & said she couldn’t stop it as the sex was so amazing particularly when taking coke. I nearly fell off my chair! #nevercheated&neverdonedrugs.

whatamessitalis · 14/12/2018 20:38

I worked in the City, in a job that meant we had a lot to do with people from various industries - lots of insurance and banking, lots of corporate firms.

Affairs were rife.

I later worked for a tech firm, and for the civil service. Affairs were not rife.

My observation from my limited experiences, is the more the culture adheres to gender stereotypes (women wearing heels as standard business attire, men opening doors, letting women out of lift first, not sitting down till the women have sat down etc) the more affairs there are.

The more egalitarian the culture, the more the women are treated like actual human beings, not trophies.

VietnameseCrispyFish · 14/12/2018 20:43

I work in healthcare, and I’ve never seen anything like this. Never. Nor in my past roles in retail or food service. OH is a medic. This thread doesn’t worry me at all, nor should anyone else reading be worried! If your partner is trustworthy and loves and respects you they’re no more likely to cheat in December than any other month of the year, and if they do cheat and you find out that’s valuable info to have about them, you wouldn’t want to spend your life with someone capable of treating you with contempt as to betray you surely.

I suspect some of the stories on this thread, though entertaining, are more ‘apparently, friend of a friend said, heard on the grapevine’ tales that have taken on a mythical quality and been hugely exaggerated because people love salacious gossip.

Rockhopper10 · 14/12/2018 20:44

I'm shocked. The profession I work in (journalism) is nothing like this AT ALL (even though we all like a night out on the town, and have a pretty wild Christmas party). But maybe because, like Whatasmessitalis says, it's all pretty egalitarian in terms of gender.

user1471426142 · 14/12/2018 20:52

I’ve not noticed it since being a ‘proper grownup’ but my grad scheme had a high proportion of new couples and people cheating on their partners. I wonder if it’s sort of accepted with 22 year olds given most not really in super serious relationships/didn’t have kids etc and in some places, the people concerned just never grow up and take that culture with them.

Dimsumlosesum · 14/12/2018 20:52

My husband's profession has a reputation for being rife with cheating, but, tbh, it's actually not all as bad as peopl think. Those that cheat fast get a rep for it. Most don't actually do it. Not worth the hassel.

Mascarponeandwine · 14/12/2018 21:03

Stylishmummy my ex big 4 accountancy firm was barred from several hotels and restaurants in the city the office was in, due to food being thrown, pissed up antics and debauchery.

I have since worked in publishing, public sector and charities and none of the accountants in these behaved badly. The behaviour was mostly in the big corporates that had lots of 20 somethings out to get drunk and throw caution to the wind.

Imabadmummy · 14/12/2018 21:06

Not rtft but our office is the same op - well, was, a number of the 'players' have left now so this year was a lot less eventful.

I will dance with anyone, but thats as far as it goes. Ive been with my DH 20 years now, and wouldnt even consider a peck with another man.

I dont understand people who think its ok to be doing anything else with anyone other than their partner, but i guess its each to their own and they can do what they want, i will stand by my personal beliefs.

AmericanEskimoDoge · 14/12/2018 21:10

Some people use the Office Christmas Party as an excuse to misbehave, since (some) people seem almost to expect it. Almost like it's not as bad if it happens then. Doesn't count, somehow.

If you're not looking to cheat, you won't put yourself in a situation where you could potentially be tempted. Don't get drunk, in other words. It's not that complicated. I have no sympathy for people who purposely get drunk, do stupid things, and then say, "Oh, but I was drunk!" like that makes it okay. Pathetic, really.

NoOneCaresInRealLife · 14/12/2018 21:12

Eek, I had a drunken fumble with my boss this time last year at Christmas do - fast forward 12months, I'm now his boss and even though there is still some sexual tension I have absolutely no intention of acting on it. It has affected me that I don't want to go tomorrow and we both ignore each other (to be safe!) but my work team (and my bosses) would be disappointed even I don't turn up.

GraceMarks · 14/12/2018 21:13

Vietnamese I've only mentioned things that I witnessed directly. No salacious exaggeration here!

I don't know why some people are getting so defensive about this topic. Or, thinking about it, perhaps I do. Look, the OP was practically inviting people to tell anecdotes about workplace misbehaviour, and people have obliged. Probably there's some confirmation bias going on, but there have also been plenty of "not in my office" stories to counter the others. Nobody is accusing anyone of anything, which is how some pp seem to have taken it.

Avegemitesandwich · 14/12/2018 21:22

I'm another who is surprised that accountants are such shaggers!

It's funny how everyone has so many stories of other people doing this, but no one will admit to doing it themselves...