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Original poster

Christmas do cheaters!

333 replies

youcanthandlethetruth · 13/12/2018 15:28

Just curious as to whether this is the norm

One woman I work with is having an affair with two married men in our office. Which she and they have since admitted to. Notably was seen getting into a taxi with both following the Christmas do!

On the same night of the Christmas do, another woman kissed a man who just got married last month. Seen kissing a few times in front of everyone! When I asked her about it she said “awk it’s just one of the those things.” She also cheated on her partner earlier in the year with a different man we work with.

Another younger girl who just started in the office last month is also suspected of being overly friendly with another married man. Everyone suspects an affair but this has never been confirmed.

Thing is - none of their partner’s know. I know this for a fact from various conversations throughout the year.

And my male boss has admitted to fancying someone else in our office. He always says that if he got the chance to have a night with her he’d take it (again he has been married for a long time)

Am I the only faithful person out there. How do people do this with no conscience. I would feel wick if I did that on my dp.

OP posts:
PaintingOwls · 14/12/2018 21:26

I'm a bit of a magnet for this sort of thing and I don't know why.

I get women confessing to me and being totally frank as though they just know I will understand Hmm and I get men coming on to me when I've been nothing but vaguely friendly with them all year. One time I had a bloke tell me about his pregnant wife at home then try to touch me up 10 minutes later.

These days I will swerve work functions involving alcohol past 7pm if I can! Blessedly this year I am sick and therefore unable to attend.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 14/12/2018 21:26

My DP had his works lunch/afternoon on the lash today. He is now snoring on the sofa, with the cat lying on him, who is also doing the odd snore. He did bring back chips though.

SimplySteve · 14/12/2018 21:28

When I worked for the insurance arm of a huge bank this didn't just happen at Christmas. Lots of men and women. There was even a score chart on the company intranet that I built. And no, I didn't.

Hobbitbobbit · 14/12/2018 21:29

This was unfortunately completely the norm when I worked in finances, 2 different quite big companies and was always a shocker at the Christmas do and even more so any team bonding trips away.

lostallsandals · 14/12/2018 21:33

Take a look at my recent thread BlushSad

I felt like cheating tonight

PaintingOwls · 14/12/2018 21:34

@SimplySteve a score chart!

WicketWoo · 14/12/2018 21:43

I am an accountant - big 4 - and I'd say it can be rife but definitely frowned upon and is starting to be stamped out in advance of scandal hitting...

SimplySteve · 14/12/2018 21:45

monogamy is unnatural and overrated

Wait, what?

Sakura7 · 14/12/2018 21:48

I'm honestly surprised it's so rampant. In any company I've worked for it would be rare and the people involved would be embarrassed after it. The idea that scores of people are doing this blatantly in front of all their colleagues seems so bizarre to me.

Ravenesque · 14/12/2018 21:51

onemanwoman this is a thread to see if it's the norm/if it happens a lot. The OP was shocked by what goes on in her workplace. Others have responded to either say "crikey! not where I work", or to share the same sort of stuff that goes on where they work now or have worked or .. It's not saying all men are bastards and cheats, or all women can't wait to nob off with some sweaty, overweight, balding arsehole of a boss to get promotion. It's just the stories to tell the OP, that it's less unusual than any of us would like to think.

I am actually surprised that you've not seen much of it given that you're an events manager, but then that's a nice thing to add to the thread, not something to rant about surely?

I worked in the city in the late eighties and early nineties. The company I worked for was quite shaggy and also very alcohol fueled and a bit too keen on the class As as well. Our Christmas parties were full on and often continued afterward in clubs or at someone's home until a couple of hours before we had to get back to work, but the shagging was mostly during the rest of the year. We were out drinking most nights. It was not particularly healthy and I'm sure that quite a few of the people I worked with are alcoholics now. I was young and the shagging didn't really bother me much at all. I was single and free to do what I wanted to do if I wanted to. Other people had to make up their own minds about where their moral compass pointed. The deeply seedy ones were a laughing stock.

ohhelpohnoitsa · 14/12/2018 21:52

We had 2 christmas socials one year. CEO brought his lovely demure wife to the first one and another very different lady who draped herself over him, to the second. Lovely guy...NOT.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/12/2018 21:56

"As others have said, I'm genuinely astonished to discover that accountancy as a profession has such a racy reputation. Not what I would have expected at all."

I suppose this must be qualified accountant working for accountancy firms?
Everywhere I've worked the accounts dept (bookkeepers I suppose) have been very, very quiet, shy people who I don't think would be capable of affairs.

BeanBagLady · 14/12/2018 21:57

“I work in Media and it isn’t the norm. There have been a few drunken snogs at parties between colleagues but if they were married we were all very shocked and judgmental. It isn’t thought of as acceptable at all.”

Same here. A sector typically thought to be very ‘liberal’ but it is absolutely not normal for anyone to take part in this ‘whoaaaar’ sort of philandering carry on.

IgglePiggleWiggle · 14/12/2018 22:00

When I sat on the senior management team forum last company we had to sit through psychometrics on someone who was being considered for a senior sales role. The clinical psychologist noted this chap had significant "zipper trouble". Someone had to explain it to me. He got the job and did indeed shag his way through the office. But he hit his targets sooooo.

PloddingOnwards · 14/12/2018 22:13

Nothing to do with the job it's the people no morals.

cigarettessuffragettesandboys · 14/12/2018 22:16

Averagemitesandwich good point. As it seems such a common thing to happen in the work place I’d be shocked if some posters or even just people reading the thread haven’t been at it themselves.

This thread makes a fairly depressing read Sad

Vivino · 14/12/2018 22:17

"I have been told by one lad he's going to get me drunk and take advantage of me at the Christmas party"

@Moneypenny007 that's gross and rapey, I hope you've reported him for harassment.

IveBeenGoingToTheWrongDo · 14/12/2018 22:33

I'm a bit depressed to hear all the comments about police. I've been in the Service for 26 years, and this has rarely been a feature of our work functions. Over the years there have been whispers of individuals having affairs, but it was usually of a shocked judgemental nature rather than accepted as a matter of course.

Unfortunately it's natural as a woman in the police to be the subject of gossip and speculation. I've never had a relationship with a colleague, but I am aware of plenty of people who are all too ready to spread rumours - misogynistic fuckers normally.

I'm not saying it never happens, but it's so unheard of in my particular specialism, that when a colleague groped and snogged woman at a function in the last year it ended up as a misconduct investigation.

Custardee · 14/12/2018 22:53

@IveBeenGoingToTheWrongDo I was shocked by the behaviour, not only of those at it (some literally Beijing their partner/spouse's backs at nights out (once at a wedding) but also by the attitude of the more senior officers, very much an accepted behaviour and laughed at in a jokey laddy way, of the if-you-can-get-away-with-it-then-why-not variety. And the female officers were just as bad if not worse than the men. Disgusted by the whole lot of them I knew, and totally changed my opinion of the kind of people in the police force (not tarring the whole force with that brush, just very rife there)

WorraLiberty · 14/12/2018 22:54

OneWomanMan1, sorry but your post makes you sound like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

Loads of over explaining and minimising, but why?

I mean why did your wife put you on to this thread, if she's so confident in the marriage?

In 8 years I’ve seen only a tiny handful of sleazy guys trying it on and were successful 0 times.

How would you know that? No-one's obliged to tell you whether they were successful in copping off with someone else and if they were both married, I doubt they'd broadcast it anyway.

Custardee · 14/12/2018 22:54

Sorry....*behind their backs

Kaybush · 14/12/2018 23:03

Maybe I'm super square but I've been married for almost 20 years and never been unfaithful, mainly because I could only do it with someone I was crazy about, and then I'd probably end up leaving my DH for them. It just sounds way too complicated to me!

Teacher22 · 14/12/2018 23:07

I bet this thread is the one that ends up on the DM.

SimplySteve · 14/12/2018 23:13

Nah, that'll be the £10 bonus thread.

Catsinthecupboard · 14/12/2018 23:18

Im married to an engineer. He didn't want to go to his today. He left as soon as he could. I think that engineers are a bit introverted and used to be mostly men.

I do know they are moving away from night time functions.

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