To think military families should be offered extra funded childcare provisions?

[PFB1]

I am a military wife and although being a soldier is a choice and in my opinion, you're not automatically owed anything for making that choice, I really feel as though child care is such an issue for military spouses.

The problem is, we move frequently, which makes it harder for spouses to have a successful career. We often live hundreds of miles from family so we have no offers of free childcare there, the communities we live in are so transient. Our friends move away, new people arrive. When a friendship reaches the point where you might be comfortable asking for help with childcare, it's likely one of you will end up being posted miles away.

On top of these issues, your spouse can be sent away at a moments notice for anything up to 9 months.

I think so many military spouses underachieve from a career point of view because it feels like there are just so many hurdles in your way. I think extra funded childcare for military families would be a wonderful idea to give spouses more opportunities to succeed.

I appreciate childcare is a touchy subject and difficult for many families to afford/juggle. I just think it would be a huge help to service families to have some additional support in that area.

I'd love to try to contact relevant organisations to discuss whether this is something we could propose but I firstly wanted to get an idea of if the general public would be unhappy about this.

No sorry. You choose to be in the military and know what it means to make that your career (what it means for your family etc). Plenty of people with spouses in the military have careers as well.

I wouldn't mind.

Nope. The military is a choice for the person entering it, and both they and anyone marrying someone in the military is perfectly aware of what it entails.

Any money that could be spared for a scheme such as this would be better spent elsewhere; not subsidising families who chose such a life.

Elphie It isn't quite as simple as that though. There are hugely declining numbers in the armed forces and big issues with retention of soldiers. It's important that we have a strong Army and if the package on offer to soldiers isn't compatible with family life, we loose good soldiers.

It is that simple though.

Where would the money be coming from? It’s not like the government has unlimited supply of cash. You’d have to be taking it from somewhere else. So who would you be taking it from? Children living in poverty who may not eat if not getting benefits? Elderly who may not eat? The disabled? Single parents who are struggling to make ends meet?

Military families have the choice, the above do not. Not sure why you can’t see the difference.

Btw I know many military families who have spouses who have careers, including my DP. Thankfully, his active deployment has been over for a while, but even if it wasn’t, if still be working. It’s a sacrifice one makes for themselves and their family when they choose to serve.

Surely cash isn't the answer. You'd still struggle to find a place at short notice for possibly only a short period of time. If sourcing spaces wasn't an issue. You jsit get a job and use childcare like you would if your partner worked in an Office in Halifax.

Some sort of centralised creche though? Breakfast and after school club? Guaranteed spaces whenever you move and paid for like regular childcare

Personally, I would object to this. As others have said, being a military family is a choice and plenty of military spouses have highly successful careers. Military families already receive additional support through eg the service pupil premium and forces help to buy .

Nope, sorry. My brother is in the navy and I know he gets a lot of bonuses/ sea pay if he is deployed etc... this could be used to subsidise extra childcare.

It is a choice that was made and is pretty well rewarded financially. Dc will be pupil premium at school so will receive extra in that manner.

My DH did 18 years in thecarmy, including 11 tours. I wotked the whole time, in a range of countries, frequently alone. Once I had DD (overseas) I did exactly the same as I do now, in civvie street. I paid for a childminder.

In fact it was EASIER when DH was in the army because the childminder lived next door.

Having been both a military wife/mother and a civvie wife/mother it is the latter that is harder in many ways.

There are Ofsted registered childminders virtually everywhere there are military bases. There are schools, nurseries, free 15 hours, just like civvie street. In Germany there is HEAVILY subsidised German childcare available that costs less a week than I pay for a day. In addition there are welfare officers, SSAFA, activities specifically put on for families, and a support system in place.

There are many, many people with little or no support in civvie street. It is only when you've seen both sides that you see the similarities - whilst still 'in' you only see the differences and civvie life appears easier. It's not.

We have no reliable babysitters for DC. I pay £5 an hour for a childminder. No breakfast or after school clubs. My mum has died, my dad has dementia, my inlaws are disabled. I have friends, but noone I would ask to have DD unless it was an absolute emergency. You have services and systems in place for that. I don't.

So no, I don't think military families should get extra funded childcare, although I would support more funded childcare for ALL families.

FYI we were also a LOT better off than we are now, so we still pay the same childcare, but from a much smaller pot.

Military families already get priority places in a lot of schools, including boarding schools for that very reason.

I think the providing more assistance, but not necessarily in the form of subsidies for childcare places. There could be help setting up nurseries in the communities, assisting childminders to set up their businesses, etc so that the places are there for you. I'm sure there are military partners who would enjoy doing that work just as much as there are people in the wider community who do it.

I agree with other PP. I'm an ex military wife. I understand what you're saying in that it can be deskilling to the wives/ spouses. You never stay in one place for long. In my case, the longest we stayed in 1 place was 3 years. And so good career building is difficult - you're mostly stuck just doing zero hours or hourly lower paid jobs like shop floor work. Unless youre one of those rare military wives who worked from home on their computer doing programming or their own selling business.

It's even worst if you're stationed internationally as you can't get a job off base due to the language barrier and of course all jobs on base are often taken/over subscribed to unless you have something niche to offer.

Then when your spouse is away training or deployed (in the army that can sometimes be up to 9 months!), it's like single parenthood so makes fitting a job around that even harder.

Except it's not. Single parenthood is hard due to the minimal income as well as being sole carer. My H wasn't even high rank but he was paid quite well compared to some civilian jobs. We were certainly in the position where I didn't need to get a job to make ends meet. We were far from financially struggling like other actual single parents frequently are. We didn't pay rent as this was covered by the military. On his military income, we could have afforded childcare if i wanted some days to myself plus nice holidays etc. We had nice phones and could treat ourselves often. We didnt do so many holidays (we aren't the type to enjoy travelling) but we saved a decent amount of money instead. We were comfortable enough for me to have the privilege of being a sahm. Now we are out of the military i need to work so we can meet all our bills. My income covers childcare and part bills. His income covers the rest of the bills. We dont claim any benefits except childcare and with both kids under 3 we dont receive any government funded hours. Without me working we'd be free of childcare bills but wouldn't be able to cover our bills. When I was on mat leave, I couldn't take the full year. We had to cease childcare for my older child as we couldn't afford to continue it (which I'd have loved it to continue for maybe like 2 days a week- if only to give myself some time to sleep during the day when the newborn is sleeping ... now when the newborn sleeps... my toddler is still very much awake) and we ended up dipping (a lot) into our savings from when H was in the military to cover the short maternity time I had as our income was so low without me working.

So no, having experienced it myself first hand, I definitely do not feel that childcare should be extra subsidised for military families. I get that military men are doing a service to their country. But it's their choice and it's a job they've chosen. Spouses make the choice to marry and choose to commit to the military lifestyle. Which isn't a bad lifestyle. Some of the wives I met loved it. It was a large part of their identity and they were very proud of it. I personally didn't and H was yearning for a change so we got out. Despite the financial fall that has come with it, we've no regrets.

Sorry - I said military men as it's from my own context of my H being a man and in the military. I understand there are military women too! It's not unintentional sexist - I'm a feminist I swear!

And that was meant to say child benefit not child care. .. god its late and I'm tired.

It's a decently paid job and a choice. So no.

What would be good is decent, affordable, available childcare for everyone.

Don't agree sorry. The issue with career for the trailing spouse is that moving frequently means no time to build up experience or even to find a job before another transfer. Additional money for childcare wouldn't do anything to address that issue.

Nope, sorry.

My DH is just in the reserves and from time to time he speaks about joining full time. We are both professionals. He's well aware though that I'd leave him as it's not a life I want for our daughter. People shouldn't be subsidised for the career choices they make. I work in the NHS in an essential role. It means being unable to use nurseries as they're shut when I'm at work so a more expensive nanny will be the solution once my mat leave is over. I don't think this should be subsidised just because I do a "useful" job. I chose to have this job and I chose to have a family.

I agree the military is very family unfriendly and my OH talks about this a lot. He has been appalled by the casual sexism since we had a child - colleagues expressing surprise that he won't hang about at the base after training as he wants to get home to us, or that he is up in the night helping with feeds. The assumption is that his life should carry on as normal while the little lady at home does the wifely work. I think it's this crap the military should be challenging if they want to keep recruiting, not subsidising childcare so the blokes still don't have to bother doing it.

I wonder if it is easier for officers families than other ranks families? Higher pay for officers so more disposable income?
I would be interested to know if the spouses that posted are from officer class or other ranks.
I was wife to a sergeant and money was very tight, and obviously the lower rank the lower income.
It is also over 25 years since my DH served so nobody in the services or in civi street received the level of help with childcare that is available now.

Well i should imagine a help to military families would be to ditch the supremely awful Carillion Amey!

redredrobins DH was a sergeant, I was an admin bod on camp. Our combined income was just over £60k and our rent and ciloct was just over £300 a month... Add op pay, op bonuses, LOA, GYH(O) etc - we were doing very nicely.

Caoiraich It sounds like the Reserves is a bit of a 'boys club' break from home, let's hang here! My experience as an army wife was definitely not 'little wifey at home' - I wouldn't have put up with it, and nor would my friends. The younger lads were out and about at all hours, but the vast majority of married couples were just average - sharing housework, childcare etc. Obviously there were late nights out, but not every week, or even every month. Plenty of couples events, plenty of wives only events too. It's a brilliant lifestyle in many ways.

Not everybody got op pay etc. or were able to get jobs on base, some of us were just on basic pay, living in crappy houses.

I would support subsidised creches on military bases, rather than extra funded childcare places

Not only is it a choice to be in the army, it was a choice to have kids. I say no.

Trailing military spouses will never managed a career. All the people I know with good careers and a military spouse don’t trail. You don’t have to go with your husband you know. It would actually make more sense for you and your children to stay in one place while he came and went for work.

No I don't agree.

There are other careers that require geographical instability. Albeit in the UK but would fit your criteria of spouses not being able to settle in to a career in one place. Medicine is a good example.

I think you're confusing too many topics. Free childcare/lack of career for partners/under-recruitment to the military. Those 3 things won't all be solved by free childcare - would the partners be forced to work to receive free chilcare and who would monitor and enforce it?