To think military families should be offered extra funded childcare provisions?

[PFB1]

I am a military wife and although being a soldier is a choice and in my opinion, you're not automatically owed anything for making that choice, I really feel as though child care is such an issue for military spouses.

The problem is, we move frequently, which makes it harder for spouses to have a successful career. We often live hundreds of miles from family so we have no offers of free childcare there, the communities we live in are so transient. Our friends move away, new people arrive. When a friendship reaches the point where you might be comfortable asking for help with childcare, it's likely one of you will end up being posted miles away.

On top of these issues, your spouse can be sent away at a moments notice for anything up to 9 months.

I think so many military spouses underachieve from a career point of view because it feels like there are just so many hurdles in your way. I think extra funded childcare for military families would be a wonderful idea to give spouses more opportunities to succeed.

I appreciate childcare is a touchy subject and difficult for many families to afford/juggle. I just think it would be a huge help to service families to have some additional support in that area.

I'd love to try to contact relevant organisations to discuss whether this is something we could propose but I firstly wanted to get an idea of if the general public would be unhappy about this.

My friend is a trailing spouse. Since her husband is probably in it for the longhaul and she's got young DC and wants another, I suspect her "on hold" vocational degree will stay that way. We met working in retail pre DC when she was new in town due to her DH moving with the military and wanted a few hrs work so she wasn't home alone. She loves her life and seems to start again each time with ease but I do wonder if/when she'll get time for herself down the line. Not everyone is as confident as she is, either.

A non trailing spouse I knew from being at school with her Dd had picked her career back up once her Dds were through pre school, had friends and family round her and a husband who prioritised them as much as possible and was mostly London based so around a lot (am in Surrey so commutable).

Different strokes for different folks I guess, but I agree with a Pp, unorthodox and tough in its own way but I wouldn't trail.

The pay & benefits are already higher than for comparable civilian jobs so there's an inbuilt subsidy.

The comparable pay depends what trade they are in, but regardless, no. I hate the attitude you knew what you were getting into; it’s a good job some people are in the military, and if you love someone it isn’t as easy as leaving them as they’re in. Anyway, no- 3 years in a job is enough to build a career, especially in the civil service for example, where moving post every few years is encoraged. Or as others have said, buy a home and partner can travel back weekends.

I live in an area where there is a military base.

The services the local council provides in the area close to the military base are much more numerous and extensive that in other parts of the local authority area already e.g. number of exercise classes at leisure centre.

There are many, many families in the same position as you but are not in the military, so no, sorry

And with mu children going to a school with 25% military children I find the military wives exceeding,y cliquey,

My bio was in the military. I agree with what you wrote about spouse careers - they are hard to establish and progress with regular moves. However the childcare seems easier. There is lots of formal childcare offered around the bases they have been on and lots of reciprocal babysitting and helping out between the families. In contrast, we have no local family and childcare is harder to find locally.

Bio should be bil. Bloody autocorrect.

Sorry, why do you need more than most people to pay for childcare?
Most people pay for it, they don't have family providing it for free. They pay for it from their salaries, which military people also get. So why would you need bigger subsidies than everyone else?
Do you think being in the military is more important than any other career? Shouldn't nurses get more childcare by your logic? Teachers? Brain surgeons?
Pay your own childcare

Absolutely not. It’s just as hard outside the military and you have made a choice to join that life, one thatbalready has many, many benefits too. I know ex army brats who got excellent free private education that my parents paid for with the tax on their working class incomes. I know military spouses who work. Ones who moveZ ones who stay put. Where is this money coming from? Have you seen them number of families using food banks? Have you seen the crisis in the NHS as it struggles to cope as community care has been cut back for the elderly, people with MH issues and families who need support? Have you see the sheer numbers of homeless? That’s where I want my money to go to.

Don't you get 15 hours at age 2? And subsidised housing costs?

You already have decent and affordable childcare: you!

You also presumably have the option of enrolling your children in a boarding school, with heavy subsidy from the military.

A military family I know of send their children to a very expensive boarding school for a fraction of the cost to anyone else. Maybe if the powers that be spread the perks down the chain of command a bit then the subsidy you mention would be possible......
But no, I’m not particularly sympathetic to your suggestion unless it was in the case of a spouse who was staying put, then there might be an argument.

It would actually make more sense for you and your children to stay in one place while he came and went for work.

This is what my brother and his wife did.

I agree that decent, reliable, subsidised childcare for all should be the goal. It's completely ridiculous that the UK's system actually prices people out of working. That combined with a housing system that enslaves people to big mortgages is just grim.

However, I really wouldn't be all dog-in-the-manger about people who already contribute a lot to society receiving a bit of extra help on the basis that it was a 'choice'. I wouldn't want the military life for me or mine. Good that some people are prepared to do it.

@PFB1 I think you'll be fighting a losing battle here. Everyone just says "you know what you signed up for!"

I'm a military wife too. Gave up my big career 5 years ago when I couldn't get a job near our new posting. Now expecting DC1-we are hours away from family and my husband often has to go away for a few nights a week a few times a month and he gets very short notice for them. On top of that, we also have the times he goes away for months at a time.

However, while we certainly won't be rich, we do pay a bit less for a military house than if we were renting/buying ourselves. But I was just told they expect the wives not to have a career if they have children. It's really hard x

Plus there are the tax refunds that the armed forces can claim for travelling to temp workplaces (not over two years in each place). This can bring in a couple of extra grand a year. Yabu.

Also, FWIW of course I'll be looking at nursery, but nursery's are not 24/7 so are very difficult if the wife works shifts (which is very common). Also, can't get an au pair without permission as jot entitled to an extra bedroom. A lot of military bases are quite remote too, so not many nannies around!! (That's certainly the case here).

I'm not just trying to come up with excuses, of course we'll make it work. It's just really bloody difficult sometimes. And trust me, I didn't realise that this is "what I'M signing up for"

Which budget ar you proposing the money to pay for this comes from? That's the crux of it really. Who loses out so that military families benefit?

I'm not convinced about any of the extra free childcare in recent times as there are other things that could do with that money. I do understand the benefits to some people and that the children benefit too but I feel the funding is better spent where it benefits more people. Allocating funding is a very fine balancing act - someone always loses out.

There's a lot of recognition on here for how SAHP give up their careers to take care of their families. That is what military spouses in effect often have to do so that their spouses can be as flexible as the job demands. I don't see why that personal sacrifice shouldn't be mitigated to a degree by the same state that expects that flexibility. (I'd say the same for medical staff etc.).

Yes, public funds are limited. I could get all old-fashioned-socalist on you and start talking about equitable redistribution of wealth...

That is what military spouses in effect often have to do so that their spouses can be as flexible as the job demands.

Many spouses have to do that or face huge childcare bills. It isn't just limited to military/medical. The country can't fund them all.

Of course people are sympathetic to military wives and famillies - the nature of moving from posting to posting makes it hard to have any chance of a good and progressing career. For that reason i know I could never have married someone in the military - my career is as important (i always earnt more than my XH so wouldn't have been following him around).

But why military famillies - what about firefighters, care workers, nurses and social workers? Its simply not workable to pick out one profession or group and say their need is more pressing.

There seems to be a trend on here at the moment where people are asking for special discounts or treatment because otherwise life is unfair. Life is unfair, full stop.

I agree with you but then we're an ex military family.

I think unfortunately civilians will not agree with you because they simply have no idea what its like. Yes our husbands (or wives) choose to join the army, but thank god they did - imagine if we had no one!

No, life is about choices. It's a choice to join the military, it's a choice to date/marry a partner whose job that it, a choice to have children etc. Nobody else should fund those choices, just the adults who make them.

Spouses of life saving surgeons etc manage careers without state support so no different.

I agree with this - but I also think there should be more support for all families where childcare is likely to be difficult, ie bigger subsidies for creches (24hr ones for areas with big overnight employers like army bases or hospitals) and nurseries so they are cheaper for all parents who need them to access.

I really think there should be a subsidised driving lessom for all parents who don't have a licence as that's the biggest barrier to employment in my experience of civvie and military families.