To think military families should be offered extra funded childcare provisions?

[PFB1]

I am a military wife and although being a soldier is a choice and in my opinion, you're not automatically owed anything for making that choice, I really feel as though child care is such an issue for military spouses.

The problem is, we move frequently, which makes it harder for spouses to have a successful career. We often live hundreds of miles from family so we have no offers of free childcare there, the communities we live in are so transient. Our friends move away, new people arrive. When a friendship reaches the point where you might be comfortable asking for help with childcare, it's likely one of you will end up being posted miles away.

On top of these issues, your spouse can be sent away at a moments notice for anything up to 9 months.

I think so many military spouses underachieve from a career point of view because it feels like there are just so many hurdles in your way. I think extra funded childcare for military families would be a wonderful idea to give spouses more opportunities to succeed.

I appreciate childcare is a touchy subject and difficult for many families to afford/juggle. I just think it would be a huge help to service families to have some additional support in that area.

I'd love to try to contact relevant organisations to discuss whether this is something we could propose but I firstly wanted to get an idea of if the general public would be unhappy about this.

[redexpat]

Here's an idea: we properly fund high quality childcare for everyone. Everyone wins!

[WhenISnappedAndFarted]

@PFB1 - I had to pay the privilege of £1400 a month for those conditions, at one point we had rooms covered in mould, ceilings covered in mould, walls covered.

Yes, people do have to pay a lot of money to live like that. We live in London, have no choice due to my DP's job and we have to rent privately and it was so hard to be able to get out of that rental contract and in the end we only got out of it because I ended up in hospital.

I grew up around one of the UK's biggest barracks, I have worked as childcare help with army families and yes, it is awful when they go and you do go through a lot but so does everyone else.

[Otterses]

Quite possibly asd! I occasionally come across remote jobs advertised in customer service in banking and for start ups, but there's never a huge amount of them. I think you're right, a lot is outsourced. The idea of training people specifically to aim to work from home is a really good idea though.

Mpsw I I feel like it's I'd want to present with a proper plan with clear aims - it's certainly something I want to look into at some point. This thread really has inspired me again

[AlexaShutUp]

@AlexaShutUp the thing with military families is the frequent moving and often (it's hard to generalise of course) little say you can have in a posting, we haven't once been sent where we wanted to go, and it's always in the sticks where you're likely looking at commuting on top of childcare. I'm guessing lot of civilian jobs that require moving around enable more choice and more populous areas?

If I'd have stayed with my previous employer, I'd have had to sign a global mobility contract that would have required me to move every 2-3 years to wherever in the world I was needed - no choice as to where. The money was good, and there were other perks such as subsidised accommodation for overseas postings, but ultimately, I decided that it wasn't fair on my family so I sought alternative employment instead. My point is, we all have choices, and nobody is forced into that life. If it doesn't suit, then do something else.

[Asdf12345]

It’s difficult to see how unskilled work that can be done remotely wouldn’t already be outsourced overseas to cheaper places. People with skills amenable for uk home working presumably already work from home.

Would this be better approached by helping people develop careers towards home working?

[mpsw]

Your idea of a military spouses remote-working agency sounds really good. How about pitching it to the Legion?

[Otterses]

That's pretty much where I've fallen flat too PFB1 - I'd not know where to begin generating enough jobs for demand. I just feel like there are so many scams out there, and along I think military spouses (and mothers in general) are really at risk when trying to look for something to fit in with family life.

Maybe we need to drum up some more interest in building something like this. There's bound to be people out there who would want to get involved

[Asdf12345]

I don’t agree, one of us has a career path needing many years of constant moving so the other set out to establish a career that is home based, making a planned career change over a few years. Skilled, well paid home based work is eminently possible but you have to plan a path to it and accept a few years of office work establishing yourself first.

[PFB1]

Otterses - I think something like that would be excellent. I'm actually an ex-recruitment consultant and I know there are many admin jobs which could potentially be done remotely. If there was an organisation who tried to source this type of job on behalf of military spouses, that would be a fantastic step forward. I've had a look at recruit for spouses and they really don't seem to advertise much. They seem very quiet. There needs to be people getting in front of Directors and CEO's to see if they would be interested in having military spouses work remotely for them. At the end of the day, it should save money for companies in the sense that they don't need to have a desk, computer etc in the office or they can potentially have less office space. They could even pay a slightly lower salary as no commute for the employee. That would be amazing but I wouldn't have the know how to be able to set something like that up myself unfortunately.

[Otterses]

PFB1 - I don't think they honestly know what to do about spouse employment, hence why they stay out of it. Things like Recruit for Spouses and employers 'opting in' as forces friendly exist, but they don't seem to really do a great deal from what I've seen.

I don't mean to sound a total idiot OP, but what do you think would help? Ages ago I did think about setting up some sort of service finding remote, portable jobs for spouses but the idea sort of fizzled out

[SendintheArdwolves]

Personally I reckon the military should put its efforts and budget into helping ex military personnel transistion back into civilian society. The levels of homelessness, mental heath issues and substance abuse they experience is scary and the military has a duty to help. A duty which it seems to ignore.

Ditto for service people wounded in combat - we shouldn't need charities like Help For Heroes, or expect the state to pick up the slack. It's pretty shameful to hoover up teenagers and young people with few options, traumatise the hell out of them and then ditch them when they are no longer of use.

[RossPoldarksOW]

No your choice to be military wife.
Get together and form an on base crèche.

[Foxyloxy1plus1]

The option of subsidised housing
The option of subsidised education
Pupil premium

I should think that those would give you the chance to save to buy a property, for your own use ultimately, or to let out until such time as you want to live in it. I agree though, that no one should have to live in substandard housing.

Many people live far away f on their family and presumably, you will be able to choose where to live when your spouse leaves the military.

People make choices and people make sacrifices for those choices. I don’t think that the military families should have any special treatment with regard to childcare.

[PFB1]

Some of the comments on here!!! 😒

[PFB1]

Where did I say I was hard done by? Everyone has challenges. I was just discussing the challenges I've faced as the wife of a soldier. I am very happy with my life and my family and far from being hard done by, I'm lucky to have what I have. That doesn't mean its wrong to consider how the welfare budget in the army is spent and whether it could be spent in a different way to help spouses find employment.

[SendintheArdwolves]

Again, you are not compelled to live in a married quarter - you can choose to rent or buy a private house if you prefer. It's just you have the OPTION of subsidised housing.

If you feel that the savings on rent are worth old kitchens and threadbare carpets, great. If you decide they aren't, then rent or buy a different house. But stop wingeing about how hard done by you are.

[agedknees]

Chipping in about the free housing. It isnt.

Last military quarter I lived in still had its original 1950s kitchen. Nice.

Every time I plugged in the iron the whole of the electrics blew.

People ignorantly posting fiction as fact need to educate themselves.

[Sweetpea55]

cant you move closer to relatives? Military personel are frequently away from their base because thats their job,,,So why wait for months for them to return from duty in a camp. Move back home and have the family support in childcare while you pursue a career.

[ForalltheSaints]

Worth noting that the poor services housing dates back to a decision to sell off many by Michael Portillo when he was Defence Secretary. You make like his tv programmes, but don't forget.

As for childcare, does the large number of service families in one place help present an opportunity for childcare to be subsidised, or simply cheaper overheads for its provision?

[scaryteacher]

Wish someone had told my mortgage provider that my housing was supposed to be free!

Those of you suggesting to buy our own place and for me to not be a "trailing spouse", let me give you the reasons why that's tricky. There are not any job opportunities for DH near where we are originally from with quite a big percentage of the jobs available being in the garrison we are in just now. That then is your choice. I lived in MQs when i was a child, as my Mum moved with my Dad, so I started school in Hampshire, 10 days later, started school again in Scotland, 2.5 years later, down to Dartmouth, and then 2.5 years after that, it was back to Hants and our own house.

From then, I didn't live in MQs until I was 40, and dh was abroad and we moved out to join him. We were Navy, so it's different, in that dh was Plymouth based, and when he wasn't, I stayed in our house and he weekended. We are both from naval families, so had seen it work before. I could work, and whilst ds missed his Dad, we could speak on the phone and send emails, so it could have been worse!

As for those claiming CEA who aren't entitled, report them please. Had we remained in our home in the UK, then we would have had to fund school fees for secondary had we gone down that route, as we would have not been entitled as I would not have moved, apart from if dh had been posted to MOD in London, as it's cheaoer to pay the limit for fees than find a home for a family in London, given dh was entitled to a 4 bed house. Again, it can be hard for the RN to be appointed out of area if they are on the merry go round at Fleet for example. Dh didn't go to sea again after he was 35, as is normal for non warfare branch submariners, but he had jobs that took him away from Plymouth, to Northwood, Staff College and then Brussels for three jobs on the trot. It depends on the career path and specification of that particular Naval Officer as to what they do. An Engineers path will be different to that of a Logistics Officer (we have both in the family, so I've seen the difference).

[TheFairyCaravan]

It is massively subsidised though. Youd have to stick anothrr £1k on top of that to reach market level for a 3/4 bed in civvie st.

Housing is subsidised but not to the tune of £1k a month. I've just looked at the equivalent of my house in our nearest town, which isn't cheap, and it's £325 a month more. However it doesn't have a 25 year old kitchen, a 40 year old bathroom and carpets so worn that they are slippery. Our roof has no roofing felt in numerous places but there's been no money to fix it for 5 years.

The state of the vast majority of service family housing, and barrack blocks tbh, is abysmal but they're still pressing ahead with bringing the rent in line with market value. This year we've had 2 rent increases, the one in April was the incremental rise planned for the market value rate the second was in September, back dated to April, because the personnel got a below inflation pay rise yet again. P

[SendintheArdwolves]

So if you are already married when your partner joins the forces its suck it up or divorce then

Well, baldly, yes. Ideally as a couple you would discuss such a massive lifestyle change together, and then make the decision:

A) one spouse decides not to pursue their desire to join the military
B) the other spouse decides they would be happy with the life of a military wife/husband
C) they go their separate ways and divorce.

But if your partner decides to join the military, you still have options - it's not just the case that they unilaterally decide and boom, you're a military spouse with no say in the matter.

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

So if you are already married when your partner joins the forces its suck it up or divorce then

As that does happen as well

[SendintheArdwolves]

Being in the military means moving around. If you choose to marry someone in the forces you can either a) move every three years to be with them or b) stay where you are so you/your kids have stability and see less of your spouse.

I kind of don't know what else there is to say - those are the two options. I know that WAAH ITS SAD THE KIDS MISS THEIR DAD I DON'T HAVE A CAREER WAAH but that is the deal.

If this set up bothers you, don't marry someone in the forces. Just don't.