I think the teacher is wanting to see me about what I said on Facebook...

[TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter]

Do I have a leg to stand on?

One of the TA's has been disregarding my 7yo DC's hard work and he missed out on 'extra play' despite doing the work asked of him (I can go into more detail if needed).

This is reading that is done at home and written in a book for school.

The TA was counting the reads, in fact totally ignoring most of them.

I bought it up with her, she tried to explain which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I played it over in my mind for 2 days and did not understand why they weren't counting all of my sons reads and why he was missing out. Reading doesn't come easy to him, he would rather not do it, it's a battle every day. Yet we do it, we record it, but it's not being ticked off by the TA (some is, some is ignored).

Still not understanding why 50% of it is ignored, I went on to the Facebook class page. It's a closed group of 20-30 parents. A closed and private group.

I posted a picture of his book and asked them to help me make sense of it. I don't understand??
Some other parents couldn't understand either.
I said I was really disappointed in the person who marked it. That I would mark it for them and add up his reads and do their job so they could see in black and white what work he had done. I haven't mentioned any names. It's happened to other kids too and they are missing out on 'extra play' as well despite doing the hard work.

DS has been in tears about this several times.

It wasn't an issue for the first 3 years at school and it wasn't a an issue for the 7 years my other DS was at this school. It's an issue now.

Now they have called me in for a meeting at 3pm - I cant make it today but I'm almost certain this is what it's about.
I think someone has reported me being annoyed with them and posting asking for advice about it on Facebook.

But surely I can ask for advice and express my disappointment (the only negative word I used, I was very careful!) no names mentioned?
I need to know if I've done something wrong here.

I'm still seriously fucked off them them so I held back what I really thought and just saved that information for my husband.

AIBU?

To be fair OP, if all you have to write down each day is a date, the name of a book and the page number, I find it REALLY hard to understand how you can possibly not have time to do that each evening. We too work FT with long commutes and busy lives, but still manage to not only complete what DD has read daily, but add a comment about how she has done, which words she struggled with etc. It takes less than a minute.

It doesnt count the following week because it is to late. Surely you understand that. It has to be filled in by a certain day each week in order to count.

The ticks only count for the current week's reward.Retrospective doesn't count.

When she counts up the reads thisThursday will the reading from Sunday - Wednesday be recorded or not? If not, she can't tick them.

OP - AIBU?
Everyone - Yes and here's why + a simple remedy
OP - you're all wrong

Fill it in each day = end of problem.

I'd be very concerned about a teacher that is rewarding primary aged children for work done out of school time and I'm a teacher myself. Some children have tumultuous home lives. Not all children will be able to complete work at home or be supported in work at home which they'll need at a young age. Some children are living between different homes, some are in care, some are abused, some in dire poverty, some are young carers. That would be my initial concern, as to reward children for something done outside of school hours is excluding those who cannot participate through no fault of their own.

The concern about the work not being marked as complete would be second.

• son, apologies.

You seem to be deliberately not seeing the problem here. Why? Have you got other issues with this TA?

Why doesn't his work count?

Because you missed the deadline.

It's like handing your homework in late and saying you did it, you just didn't hand it in. Too late.

He missed the reward for his hard work because you didn't fill in the record on time.

Ok, I realise what's going on here. I've missed something vital out.

So they count it up each week (this has been established). But the 'extra play' gets given out at the end of the month when they have completed 25 reads.

So she can see weekly what he has done. Ignores weekly what he has done. And it doesn't get added together at the end of the month.

It gets written down weekly (as asked) and added up at the end of the month.

Funnily enough I've never actually been told to do it by Thursday. In all the years my eldest was at that school and the first few years DC2 is.

We have always done everything on the weekend and it's never been a problem before.
When I went into the school and asked them about it, it was then that she told me she marked them on a Friday.
She never actually told me to get it done by Thursday and we have never been told that before.

That's just my assumption since this has all happened.

The 16/11 was a Friday. She ticked 10/11 and 11/11 as they were the only reads logged that pertained to the 7 day week 10/11-16/11. She can’t give you credit for previous weeks.

*On the 16th when she sat down to mark his work, all of the dates before the 16th were written down.
That's how she knows he has done the work. It's written down. On the paper. In front of her. Recorded. Right there, written down.

But she doesn't tick it.*

If you do not fill it in until the weekend that is impossible.

Why do you think your child shouldn’t complete the work in the same way as everyone else? Those are the rules. That’s what you and he have to do to get the reward.

You haven’t a leg to stand on.

if she see’s it the following week it doesn’t count,
Why doesn't his work count?

Ok, I think you do understand. You just don't want to change when you fill in this reading diary thing.

You can continue to dig in your heels, but your son will continue to lose out. You might think this is a hill worth dying on, but most parents would curse a bit to themselves about the inconvenience and then reorganise their week. YABU.

Why doesn't his work count?

Because the evidence is being submitted past the deadline.

If you were applying for a job, and missed the deadline for applications, would you then moan that it wasn’t fair you never got an interview because after all you did fill in the paperwork but you just handed it in late? And they can see it’s all filled in in front of them, look everything has been recorded LOOK... even though it’s after the deadline has been and gone and a shortlist has been drawn up? I hope not! Same thing!

If you know she marks them on a Friday then that means you have to do it before Friday. Don’t be deliberately dense.

Retrospective doesn't count.

This is the bit I'm having difficulty with.

Why doesn't it count? Is it because I've stupidly!! forgotten to explain that it gets added up for a monthly reward?

Because otherwise I don't see why it can't be counted respectively.

If it was a homework at secondary school I could totally understand it.
But it's a 7 year olds weekly home reading.
If it's done, it's done.

Even with the drip feed you're still BU.

In fact if I were the TA I'd be doubting you read with your child as often as you're claiming, because if you have time to do that, you've got time to quickly note it down.

If you were applying for a job, and missed the deadline for applications,

He's 7.
It's primary school.
It's home reading.

Let's not lose perspective here.

You could sort this so easily, but you’d rather dig your heels in and fight. Wow.

Hi OP. I'm actually with you on this. If this is the first time it's been an issue after literally years and the work is in the book by the time the treat rolls around, then YANBU at all. I think some people on here are not looking at the whole picture.
I hope it all gets sorted for you!

Because they think that parents - not you, maybe others - aren’t doing the reading and just writing it all in in a chunk so they’ve changed the rules.

There’s a deadline. Do it by the deadline

I’m not losing perspective, I’m giving an example you might understand more easily.

If it is a monthly reward it is entirely different
Poor TA will have been told to tick off reads in a week. Then they count the ticks. (which aren't there for the retrospective updating).

Nonetheless it is all, clearly, officious nonsense - not in any way qualitative, ergo - bullshit.

I

However the situation has arisen, it’s pretty clear to you now what the process is and how to solve your problem.

If the play is monthly, then yes, she could go back and credit previous weeks or mark it at the end of the month or whatever. But you now know full well that isn’t what happens. So just deal with the situation as you know it is.

So you can rant and rave about the system. Or do what you are suppose to. Feel free to complain that the system was never made clear, that’s a fair point. But know you know, you are being deliberately ignorant. I would be irritated with you if I worked at the school frankly.

It wasn't blank, it was all there. THATS what I'm trying to explain to you!

Looking at the photo, this is what I am seeing.

The list was checked on 5th November (a Monday). At that point the entries for 1st-5th November are there so they are all ticked.

I'm guessing that the list was checked again on 9th November (Friday). At that point the entries for 6th-9th November were not present as you didn't put them in until the weekend so nothing to tick.

The next check is on 16th November (Friday). At this point the entries for 6th-9th (which you would have added at the weekend) are ignored because they should have been in place for the last check. They relate to the previous week so don't count for this week. The entries for 10th and 11th are in place so they are ticked. The entries for 12th-16th are not yet present so can't be ticked.

The list is checked again on 23rd November (Friday). The entries for 12th-16th are now in place (having been added at the weekend) but are ignored because they relate to the previous week and should have been in place for the last check. The entries for the weekend of 17th and 18th are present so get ticked. Presumably the entry for 19th is not yet present so no tick for that.

That is consistent with you filling in the list every weekend (which is what you have told us) and the teacher only giving credit for reading completed that week.

If I am right, the reason your child is missing out is that you are leaving it too late to fill in the list.

Just follow the system,

Don't do a trial by social media

You want everyone on the FB group to agree with you - imagine of you were at work and the customers/clients/colleagues did that to you??

And if the TA showed examples of your child's work on the same FB page to support "her side" of the story???There would be outrage - or a disciplinary - rightly. So what you did was unfair and underhand.

You want everyone on MN to tell you how right you are.
Those that disagree are dismissed. Those who agree are thanked.

Support the school. Support your child so that he learns how to work within the system so that it is not an issue.