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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think the teacher is wanting to see me about what I said on Facebook...

508 replies

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter · 12/12/2018 09:56

Do I have a leg to stand on?

One of the TA's has been disregarding my 7yo DC's hard work and he missed out on 'extra play' despite doing the work asked of him (I can go into more detail if needed).

This is reading that is done at home and written in a book for school.

The TA was counting the reads, in fact totally ignoring most of them.

I bought it up with her, she tried to explain which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I played it over in my mind for 2 days and did not understand why they weren't counting all of my sons reads and why he was missing out. Reading doesn't come easy to him, he would rather not do it, it's a battle every day. Yet we do it, we record it, but it's not being ticked off by the TA (some is, some is ignored).

Still not understanding why 50% of it is ignored, I went on to the Facebook class page. It's a closed group of 20-30 parents. A closed and private group.

I posted a picture of his book and asked them to help me make sense of it. I don't understand??
Some other parents couldn't understand either.
I said I was really disappointed in the person who marked it. That I would mark it for them and add up his reads and do their job so they could see in black and white what work he had done. I haven't mentioned any names. It's happened to other kids too and they are missing out on 'extra play' as well despite doing the hard work.

DS has been in tears about this several times.

It wasn't an issue for the first 3 years at school and it wasn't a an issue for the 7 years my other DS was at this school. It's an issue now.

Now they have called me in for a meeting at 3pm - I cant make it today but I'm almost certain this is what it's about.
I think someone has reported me being annoyed with them and posting asking for advice about it on Facebook.

But surely I can ask for advice and express my disappointment (the only negative word I used, I was very careful!) no names mentioned?
I need to know if I've done something wrong here.

I'm still seriously fucked off them them so I held back what I really thought and just saved that information for my husband.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Piggywaspushed · 12/12/2018 10:45

Regardless of how petty the marking might seem to be, Facebook is not the place to 'discuss' it. My village Facebook is a 'closed' site. that doesn't make it the place to bitch about the local school.

Issues need to be resolved in a different way and now you are raising the issues via a different social medium. Which somone also might see.

If you didn't understand the issue that first time it waa discussed , you needed to say so! there and then!

dippledorus · 12/12/2018 10:46

The reward on Friday is for doing the reading that week.

He can’t get the reward because he hasn’t, as far as they can see, done the required work THAT week.

Escolar · 12/12/2018 10:46

dinosaurglitterrepublic has got it. She's not ignoring the work because it's not there when she sees it! She doesn't go back and award the marks retrospectively because they're in a new week by then and he's already missed his playtime for the previous week.

TeaStory · 12/12/2018 10:46

The deadline for it to be counted is Friday. So just do it ready for Friday.

Piggywaspushed · 12/12/2018 10:47

Are you going to continue this attitude for your child when he is older and gets more howmeork or coursework : you (and they) won't get to choose what day to submit it on then either?

Original poster
TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter · 12/12/2018 10:47

Example- she marks on the 16th for the past week. You only have filled out 10th and 11th as you complete at the weekend. The remainder of that week must have been blank by Friday 16th if you refuse to complete on the Thursday.

No! All wrong!!!

It wasn't blank, it was all there. THATS what I'm trying to explain to you!

It wasn't blank!

OP posts:
FuckingYuleLog · 12/12/2018 10:48

Yes she can see he has done the previous weeks reading the following Thur after he has already missed his Friday play!

TeaStory · 12/12/2018 10:49

Are you going to continue this attitude for your child when he is older and gets more howmeork or coursework : you (and they) won't get to choose what day to submit it on then either?

Good point. If he is supposed to hand in homework on Friday but doesn’t until Monday, are you going to moan that it shouldn’t matter because he actually completed the work on Thursday? It’s the same thing.

dippledorus · 12/12/2018 10:49

The reward is for doing the reading THAT week.

When it is marked on a Friday for the reward of doing the reading that week, your son doesn’t have his filled in.

By the next week, the reward is for THAT week. The reward for the previous week was the previous Friday. Since she isn’t Dr Who they can’t time travel. So he doesn’t get that reward. And he isn’t eligible for the one for that week.

Just fill in the stuff for the Friday.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 12/12/2018 10:50

I think YANBU to post on FB site. It's a good way to get support and opinion. It's a good way to find out if other people have had similar problems and find solutions. It's useful to talk to other parents, so long as its not a group bitching session.

....BUT the folks on FB should have pointed out to you that its you not meeting the deadline that's the issue here.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 12/12/2018 10:51

Stop being so bloody awkward and fill it in on the correct day. Problem solved. It really isnt difficult.

Youngandfree · 12/12/2018 10:51

It’s very simple he can’t be rewarded for something she can’t see, if she see’s it the following week it doesn’t count, she is now looking at a different week.

Original poster
TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter · 12/12/2018 10:51

You are asking her to do something different for your child. They count up the class reading on Thursday ready for the extra time on Friday? If you don't write it in until Saturday how are they supposed to know?

They know because it's written down in front of them.

On the 16th when she sat down to mark his work, all of the dates before the 16th were written down.
That's how she knows he has done the work. It's written down. On the paper. In front of her. Recorded. Right there, written down.

But she doesn't tick it.

I don't think some of you understand that his work is written down.

She can see all the work he has done but she chose not to tick it.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/12/2018 10:52

If we wrote them all out on the Thursday, they would all get counted.

So do it then Hmm

If you've got time to listen to your kid read, you've got a few seconds to jot it down too.

This sounds a lot like your stubbornness is more important to you than your son's feelings.

FuckingYuleLog · 12/12/2018 10:52

If your filling in the previous weeks reading at the weekend it’s not going to be there on Fri. She will be able to see what you filled in the week before but that reward will have already been given the previous Friday!

Fairenuff · 12/12/2018 10:52

So most of you agree that she can see that he has done the work, and she's ok to not tick it?

Why don't you understand that the previous week is irrelevant? The children have already had their extra play for that week. She is only looking at the last 7 days. Anything filled in retrospectively is too late. Don't you get that?

I used to use different coloured pens for each week so that it was clear which week I was marking. If there was nothing there for that week, I would not tick it. And if it was filled in the next week it would be too late. TAs don't have time to faff around after parents that can't do basic things like fill in a record for their child.

Original poster
TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter · 12/12/2018 10:52

if she see’s it the following week it doesn’t count,
Why doesn't his work count?

OP posts:
dippledorus · 12/12/2018 10:53

You are being deliberately obtuse and cantankerous. But you’re massively pregnant so that’s allowed.

But you are missing the deadline. Wise up and just do the stuff for the deadline.

echt · 12/12/2018 10:53

WTF are you posting on FB about a professional who can be identified? Raise it through the the school.

You do know that the same teachers /TA you are criticising are bound by a code of conduct that prevents them from posting on FB as you have.

Grow up.

FuckingYuleLog · 12/12/2018 10:53

It counts as in he will have benefitted from reading those days but she can’t allow him to take part in a playtime that has been and gone!

Knittink · 12/12/2018 10:53

Essentially, the school/teacher has a system. You know what the system is, but you are refusing to abide by it and throwing a strop when this affects your child. Just write it in on the day he does the work fgs.

ConcreteUnderpants · 12/12/2018 10:54

OP: I need to know if I've done something wrong here

As you wish.
You aren't filling the book in the right day
This was explained to you
Your daughter is getting upset
You post comments on Facebook about doing the TA's job for her
You still don't get it

Just fill the bloody thing in on the right day and stop being such a belligerent insufferable spoiling for a fight.

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2018 10:54

You are being deliberately obtuse and cantankerous. But you’re massively pregnant so that’s allowed.

No it's not.

Normal, reasonable parents don't start acting like dicks just because they're pregnant.

Especially not at the expense of their upset child.

dippledorus · 12/12/2018 10:55

The reward on Friday is for doing all of the work THAT WEEK.

That’s why it doesn’t count.

The reward is for the children who, THAT WEEK, have done the required work and submitted the record of same by the Friday deadline.

The deadline is part of the requirement. Competing by the deadline is part of the gig to get the reward.

dippledorus · 12/12/2018 10:55

*completing

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