I think the teacher is wanting to see me about what I said on Facebook...

[TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter]

Do I have a leg to stand on?

One of the TA's has been disregarding my 7yo DC's hard work and he missed out on 'extra play' despite doing the work asked of him (I can go into more detail if needed).

This is reading that is done at home and written in a book for school.

The TA was counting the reads, in fact totally ignoring most of them.

I bought it up with her, she tried to explain which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I played it over in my mind for 2 days and did not understand why they weren't counting all of my sons reads and why he was missing out. Reading doesn't come easy to him, he would rather not do it, it's a battle every day. Yet we do it, we record it, but it's not being ticked off by the TA (some is, some is ignored).

Still not understanding why 50% of it is ignored, I went on to the Facebook class page. It's a closed group of 20-30 parents. A closed and private group.

I posted a picture of his book and asked them to help me make sense of it. I don't understand??
Some other parents couldn't understand either.
I said I was really disappointed in the person who marked it. That I would mark it for them and add up his reads and do their job so they could see in black and white what work he had done. I haven't mentioned any names. It's happened to other kids too and they are missing out on 'extra play' as well despite doing the hard work.

DS has been in tears about this several times.

It wasn't an issue for the first 3 years at school and it wasn't a an issue for the 7 years my other DS was at this school. It's an issue now.

Now they have called me in for a meeting at 3pm - I cant make it today but I'm almost certain this is what it's about.
I think someone has reported me being annoyed with them and posting asking for advice about it on Facebook.

But surely I can ask for advice and express my disappointment (the only negative word I used, I was very careful!) no names mentioned?
I need to know if I've done something wrong here.

I'm still seriously fucked off them them so I held back what I really thought and just saved that information for my husband.

AIBU?

Yes Florries it was sarcasm.

@greeneggshamandchips it’s a complete nonsense. I can appreciate that reading with your child is really important and has an impact on their learning. But entries in a reading diary have very little to do with that. And rewarding/punishing kids on the basis of whether parents have filled in the diary is even more ludicrous. I do read with my kids. Most nights. Probably not the school book, and sometimes it’s me reading to them because they’re too tired. But I still forge the reading diary to show what the school wants to see

You sound like a lovely parent Kolo and a mix of reading is a great idea. I think teachers are always trying to reach those who might be less supportive so that their children do not fall behind. It is a balancing act as I am sure you will appreciate.

@ChocolateStash

That's totally uncalled for. There's no reason to think the OP isn't pregnant. I've reported you for troll hunting.

She may well have found a way to quench her boredom. She was near her due date, she may actually have, surprise, surprise, given birth, don't you think??

@hubbleisback definitely. I was a teacher myself. I’ve spent many an hour trying to engage parents and get them to see the value of what school is doing. In this case, though, I don’t think rewarding/excluding the child for the parents actions is a good method.

You can write whatever the fuck you like on social media or in any group. If they try to tell you off, tell them to do one.

That's true, @Wannabeyorkshirelass they can't stop you posting on social media about them, as you're not employed by the school, and you're not a pupil.

OTOH, if your aim is to help your DC with their learning, then alienating their class teaching staff isn't the best way to go about that. Far better to send an email requesting a meeting with the class teacher makes far more sense.

Oh dear, I meant to say that it makes much more sense to email their class teacher so that you can work together in helping your child get the best education.

I've read bits, but not all. But my first thought is why on earth does the number of times a child reads at home count at such an early age TO THE POINT WHERE THEY ARE REWARDED OR NOT!!! In my family I have 3 primary school teachers and 2 Heads of primary school. All of them believe that input at home is a positive thing. But none of them would run a system that blatantly valued children whose parents had the time or cared enough to read with their child every night. The schooling in this country is based on what primary stage children learn at school. That a school is running what basically adds up to a points based system on how 'good' their parents are on how much time they have to read with their child each night is absolutely disgusting. Its so privileged and middle class crap and completely beyond my belief. Or has my reading of 3 beginning pages and then 6 scattered through the rest not given me the best over view. Please tell me that our schooling of our children is not based entirely on what time their parents can spend listening to their reading!?

Thank you drop off reality. I can't understand why a grown woman has to fear some teacher Because she expressed dissatisfaction with how her child is treated. Where I'm from taxpayers (through property taxes) pay the salaries of educators. People paying the taxes shouldn't have to fear their employees reading Facebook or fear being called into Question for speaking their minds on line or anywhere else. If this is the case, it sounds like schools have forgotten their place and who pays their salaries

The DC's school has a system in KS1 to present certificates for numbers of reads as an incentive to encourage regular reading habits. I found it much easier to encourage DS (who struggles with visual stress, particularly when tired) to have a go at earning that incentive than it was in yR where there wasn't.

Regular bursts of reading are one of the best ways to develop reading skills. The school don't have the time and resourcing to do it entirely in house, plus it's important to develop a culture of reading beyond school.

Now in KS2, DS is expected to read x5 per week which can be a struggle, particularly if he's tired. I could forge the record, but there would be no real benefit as ultimately, the real purpose is regular reading habits and developing his skills. Forging isn't going to achieve those outcomes. I miss the external incentive to encourage him.

Would it not have been best to speak to the teacher directly at the outset and clarify the expectations? The objective after all is to help your son to read. These groups are v initimidating for school staff. Feel strongly that the school day’s events should not be scrutinised by parents who weren’t even there. 😡

I’m amazed the school have time to bother about seeing you OP. Surely they have more important things to deal with ... unless what you posted on the FB group was a lot more offensive than you’re letting on ... ?

When are you having the meeting, please let us know how it went. Your right your little boy should not miss out for your mistake and I feel the TA could have told you your mistake. I also understand why it's not filled in daily, but now I would make it my priority that it is. If we, as parents haven't got our children's back, who has - good luck

And now we've had 'well my taxes pay your salary'
Bloody stupid line always trotted out.
By that standard I pay my own salary as I pay tax.

TheLittleDogLaughed
I did wonder that too. The types who take to social media when they are annoyed at something aren't usually the types to only seek a little clarification. Given we've been told there's reference to OP doing the TA's job, it wouldn't surprise me if the actual post was worse.

I bet the OP hasn't come back because the meeting wasn't about her offensive comments on Facebook. Maybe it was about the school's concerns that her ds is still struggling with reading and reading comprehension and doesn't seem to remember anything about what he is reading at home each day... Or maybe it was to explain to her, as she didn't seem to understand when the TA tried, that the reading scheme is not about counting ticks at all and to have a discussion on how to make reading more of an enjoyable experience for her ds both in and out of school. Maybe it was to apologise for her ds missing out on treats - or apologise for poor communication and explain he was missing out for some other behavioural reason. The immediate assumption that it was to tell her off about her Facebook outburst, where she suggested she was having to do the TA's job for her, makes me think she knows she went too far and is now trying to hide behind the ludicrous pretence that other parents in her child's class won't know who she was being offensive about.

Pashal2 just because you pay taxes does not mean you are the employee of the teachers!!?? They pay tax too...so technically they employ themselves also??? No...not how it works. Your tax is to pay for the social infrastructure in your country and SOME of that goes to education.

Write it in on Thursday then....job done.How simple can it be ?

So by pashal2's logic, I have several hundred employers which means I have contracts with each of them and must do as they say. How on earth is it reasonable to do so when they all have conflicting demands and time is finite?? What a ridiculous statement.

Parents in some ways abdicate responsibilities to schools who then dictate the terms of employment under one employer who directs your duties. An individual does not have more 'rights' than any other parent in directing the duties of someone they don't employ!!

Sorry OP but posting on Facebook you did would made me lose all respect for you. Its a ridiculous way to go about things

Pashal2 just because you pay taxes does not mean you are the employee of the teachers!!?? They pay tax too...so technically they employ themselves also???

Technically they also employ the headteacher as well???

This sounds so stressful. Don't worry. Speak to the teacher with a positive mindset and focus on what you want from the meeting. Tell him /her you just want the best outcome for your child and you need a plan in place to encourage reading. Go through the journal together. If the system is too complex for a 7 year old, they should have a different system so discuss what can work for your family.

At the end of the day if it is a closed/private FB group no one should be discussing anything that’s said there outside of there. I’d find out who it was and boot them out. That’s rude in itself. YANBU

ToftyAC that’s ridiculous. There’s no expectation of privacy on Facebook. You should never post anything on social media you wouldn’t want to be seen outside of social media, and that goes for private messages and closed groups. And never send an email you wouldn’t want read aloud in court. Once you give information to someone, like another member of your closed group, you have handed them the ability to broadcast that elsewhere. Certain people have the legal duty to maintain confidentiality, such as professions like doctors and lawyers. But there’s absolutely no duty on your kid’s classmate’s parent to not take what they’ve read in that group and tell others.