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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think the teacher is wanting to see me about what I said on Facebook...

508 replies

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter · 12/12/2018 09:56

Do I have a leg to stand on?

One of the TA's has been disregarding my 7yo DC's hard work and he missed out on 'extra play' despite doing the work asked of him (I can go into more detail if needed).

This is reading that is done at home and written in a book for school.

The TA was counting the reads, in fact totally ignoring most of them.

I bought it up with her, she tried to explain which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I played it over in my mind for 2 days and did not understand why they weren't counting all of my sons reads and why he was missing out. Reading doesn't come easy to him, he would rather not do it, it's a battle every day. Yet we do it, we record it, but it's not being ticked off by the TA (some is, some is ignored).

Still not understanding why 50% of it is ignored, I went on to the Facebook class page. It's a closed group of 20-30 parents. A closed and private group.

I posted a picture of his book and asked them to help me make sense of it. I don't understand??
Some other parents couldn't understand either.
I said I was really disappointed in the person who marked it. That I would mark it for them and add up his reads and do their job so they could see in black and white what work he had done. I haven't mentioned any names. It's happened to other kids too and they are missing out on 'extra play' as well despite doing the hard work.

DS has been in tears about this several times.

It wasn't an issue for the first 3 years at school and it wasn't a an issue for the 7 years my other DS was at this school. It's an issue now.

Now they have called me in for a meeting at 3pm - I cant make it today but I'm almost certain this is what it's about.
I think someone has reported me being annoyed with them and posting asking for advice about it on Facebook.

But surely I can ask for advice and express my disappointment (the only negative word I used, I was very careful!) no names mentioned?
I need to know if I've done something wrong here.

I'm still seriously fucked off them them so I held back what I really thought and just saved that information for my husband.

AIBU?

OP posts:
dwab45 · 13/12/2018 17:50

YNBU. Just remember, a lot of teachers have poor numeracy and literacy problems of their own.

GimmeGimmeHellYeah · 13/12/2018 17:55

I wonder if OP is going to return, or if she's far too much more busy than the rest of us?

Lizzie48 · 13/12/2018 17:57

@GimmeGimmeHellYeah

It's just possible that she's in hospital having her baby, she did say that she was due any day now??

Lizzie48 · 13/12/2018 18:00

If that's the case, she won't be back to tell us, round two on here will be the last thing on her mind.

Obi73 · 13/12/2018 18:01

What a sweeping statement you’re making about ‘teachers not wanting to put in the extra effort with children who need help’- can I ask how you know all teachers are like this?

Vynalbob · 13/12/2018 18:04

I don't think you have done anything wrong... but your ds reads(yet he doesn't always come home with his bag) you say you write it down (yet not in the reading record book). Seems odd if I were the teacher I may suspect your ds is not reading regularly.

sj257 · 13/12/2018 18:12

Update???

Natataliejason · 13/12/2018 18:12

I totaly agree with u hun id be the exzact same if my son was missing out on play time if hed done his reading its bang outta order and why shouldnt u express your comments on a fb page thats what its there 4
Have u been n to see the teacher yet
Tale her straght because yes they do try n talk to other parents like children in its not on
Theres alot i dont agree with that are going on at one of my kids school and ive been 2 school and rang up and they still dont sort the problem
Half the timethey dont want to be held responsble its a joke
Ur not in the wrong atall

MaisyPops · 13/12/2018 18:14

Obi73
Because it's mumsnet and there's a group of folks who like to express their education related chip on their shoulder by making pointless and inaccurate statements about entire professions or schools presumably because it'll act as a rallying call to others who agree.

Teachers hate putting in extra work for those who need help. They only care about bright kids. They also hate bright children because we are made to feel inferior to a 5 year old who obviously knows more than us about everything. We also do nothing about bad behaviour and tolerate bullying but on another thread we are draconian and tyrannical for sanctioning a child who is disruptive and unkind to others. Grin

ktp100 · 13/12/2018 18:15

You are entitled to have an opinion and to speak to whomever you want to about it. You state clearly that you have spoken to the person about it snd received poor explanations and that not only did it continue but your child has continued to miss out because of this person's mistake.

You've done nothing wrong. Don't let them push you around.

Superwomaninmysparetime · 13/12/2018 18:15

Oh OP.. same here.. my DD missed out of her actual break as apparently we hadn’t read the 3 times required in a week .. when I queried it as we had read more, the explanation was the reading week didn’t go Monday to Friday, it Wednesday to Wednesday!

Now we just make sure 3 recorded reads are in the book by Wednesday. But it’s a real irritating niggle and I don’t want DD upset again.

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 13/12/2018 18:17

Hi @TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter, how's it all going?

Lizzie48 · 13/12/2018 18:20

I think she's probably hidden the thread because of the vitriol she received in here yesterday. Either that or she's just moved on to other things in her life (like having her baby!). I admit that I'm curious too, though. Grin

Shirleyphallus · 13/12/2018 18:21

How did the meeting go?

jessstan2 · 13/12/2018 18:28

The meeting will be a good thing, both you and teachers can explain things. I don't think posting on facebook about it was a good idea, frankly. Facebook is not private.

UnknownStuntman · 13/12/2018 18:29

Altbough, i wouldnt blame her for not warning the little one to read if their reading is anything like the post at 18.12. Absolutely appalling and unreadable.

Jcsp · 13/12/2018 18:33

Assuming this is about your Facebook comments........

Generally Facebook, whether a closed group or not, whether you used names or not is not the best place to sort out school problems.

With hindsight seeing the teacher, head of keystage, deputy head, head would have been more productive.

Sparkerparker · 13/12/2018 18:44

Chatting in a closed group is just part of the modern world. Teachers do not like it at all but they need to get used to it. If they want to suggest guidelines as how they’d like parents to do this in a sensible way then that may be an option but I’m afraid you only did what out parent’ generation would have talked about at the school gates.
Yanbu

Mrskeats · 13/12/2018 18:49

This is a joke maisy right??
Teachers hate putting in extra work for those who need help
In my teaching career I have done extra sessions before and after school, given up my lunch to do extra reading etc.
It's parents like you that cause teachers to leave the profession.

roundaboutthetown · 13/12/2018 18:55

Well, it sounds a bit bloody rude to me to say that you will add up your child's reads and do the TA's job for them - especially when you are failing in your bit of the job, which is to record his reads as and when he does them as you have been asked to do. In all honesty, if your ds hates reading and is not a good reader, I would probably, as the person looking for the evidence of his reading in the classroom, have a sneaking suspicion that you may be making some of the reading sessions up. Who has time to read and remember in detail what they read and when, but does not have time to write it down until the weekend? I think you are worried about what the school may say because you know perfectly well that you went out of your way to humiliate the TA without needing to name any names, given that 100% of the people in the group would know exactly who you were talking about. You could try changing your own behaviour before publicly humiliating others - it's not exactly impressive to excuse yourself your own inadequacy whilst having no tolerance for others'.

MaisyPops · 13/12/2018 18:55

Mrskeats
Yes total joke. That was why I put the Grin at the end.

I was rolling out the usual crap of 'inaccurate general claims made on MN school threads'.

KingBobra · 13/12/2018 18:57

we make a note on the white board each night and write them all out on Saturday

Why not just make the note in the book and not on the white board each night??

icanbewhatiwant · 13/12/2018 19:09

Yes...what happened in the meeting?

Barbie222 · 13/12/2018 19:10

I'm afraid it looks to me that you are making up the reading after the fact as it would to any member of school staff who has been around the block a bit and getting annoyed that you have finally been rumbled. We do a priority reading programme with children who seem to read a lot at home but can't reread or talk about their book, and we do use golden time to run this intervention - funnily enough these targeted children are always very happy to stop their play and come and read with an adult who is taking a bit of time to help them.

About FB - well you've learned your lesson hun, 2 many 🐍

roundaboutthetown · 13/12/2018 19:19

And yes, it is conveniently extremely hard to check a child's understanding of what they are supposed to have read if you aren't told until a week after the event what they were reading... You are just provoding a useless, out of date list of page numbers for a child who struggles with reading and you expect staff to accept it and believe something useful has been done at home, when the only evidence is page numbers and, doubtless, a child who says they cannot remember anything they read last week.