I think the teacher is wanting to see me about what I said on Facebook...

[TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter]

Do I have a leg to stand on?

One of the TA's has been disregarding my 7yo DC's hard work and he missed out on 'extra play' despite doing the work asked of him (I can go into more detail if needed).

This is reading that is done at home and written in a book for school.

The TA was counting the reads, in fact totally ignoring most of them.

I bought it up with her, she tried to explain which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I played it over in my mind for 2 days and did not understand why they weren't counting all of my sons reads and why he was missing out. Reading doesn't come easy to him, he would rather not do it, it's a battle every day. Yet we do it, we record it, but it's not being ticked off by the TA (some is, some is ignored).

Still not understanding why 50% of it is ignored, I went on to the Facebook class page. It's a closed group of 20-30 parents. A closed and private group.

I posted a picture of his book and asked them to help me make sense of it. I don't understand??
Some other parents couldn't understand either.
I said I was really disappointed in the person who marked it. That I would mark it for them and add up his reads and do their job so they could see in black and white what work he had done. I haven't mentioned any names. It's happened to other kids too and they are missing out on 'extra play' as well despite doing the hard work.

DS has been in tears about this several times.

It wasn't an issue for the first 3 years at school and it wasn't a an issue for the 7 years my other DS was at this school. It's an issue now.

Now they have called me in for a meeting at 3pm - I cant make it today but I'm almost certain this is what it's about.
I think someone has reported me being annoyed with them and posting asking for advice about it on Facebook.

But surely I can ask for advice and express my disappointment (the only negative word I used, I was very careful!) no names mentioned?
I need to know if I've done something wrong here.

I'm still seriously fucked off them them so I held back what I really thought and just saved that information for my husband.

AIBU?

For those of you reacting to me and saying it's ridiculous to suggest everything is done convenient for the teacher, all you're doing is responding by saying teachers don't like box ticking. Yet the system the OP describes is box-ticking, or rather box-not-ticking; not ticking the reading the OP's son has done because the OP recorded it in a later week, even though the totting-up is done at the end of a month.

If teachers hate that box-ticking, and children suffer from box-ticking and parents get annoyed by it, I suppose the blame is with administrators, headmasters, accountants and politicians.

@Hubbleisback

And sometimes parents don't have the time to sign or fill the paperwork in on the day the school wants it (especially if, as the OP has said, the school hasn't even said what day they want it signed). State schools are there to work for parents (often with busy day jobs and busy nights looking after DC) and children, not vice versa.

Even if that were not true (though it is) it takes a TA two seconds to look back on the record a parent has added a week in arrears, tick it, and leave it to be tallied at the end of the month.

The totting up is at the end of the week and then those 4 figures are added at end of month. The TA does not have time to look for 28 plus reads per child!

Goodness me, I’m glad I was at primary school 25 years ago rather than now.

Back then primary school kids didn’t get homework. It didn’t hurt me – in time I ended up at one of the best universities in the country/world. But my stepfather worked nights in a car factory and my mother worked days in a sweatshop clothing firm. When I came home from school I had to go to a neighbour’s. My mother didn’t have the time or energy to read with me – when homework became a thing in secondary school I was expected to do it myself. When she came home I'd be moaning for dinner, which she then had to cook, not moaning for reading.

If there had been some system like this then, I’d have been punished through no extra play every single week, because my mother wouldn’t just have filled it in the wrong day, like OP, but she wouldn’t have filled it in at all. Yet I was top of every class in primary school including reading (I loved reading, still do. I was in the school’s book circle which met twice a week to read books like Charlotte’s Web. But at home I had to read by myself, which didn’t bother me one bit, but which meant there was no-one there to “record” it).

Thank God I wasn’t at the OP’s son’s school because my mother’s daily timetable was driven by putting food on the table and keeping a roof over our heads, not driven by reading with me, and certainly not driven by making sure the right box was ticked on the right day at the convenience of school. My mother would’ve laughed with scorn the idea her day should be ruled by the school’s whims. I’m pretty sure we never had hauling parents in for a meeting at 3.30pm back then either; I’m sure my mother never went to anything at school other than parents evening.

Clearly there are many here who’ve never had to slog their guts out to earn a crust, who all think mothers can just jump to teachers’ tunes – change when the reading is recorded, change the time of the reading to the mornings, even, just so the hoops the school sets can be more easily jumped through.

Shame on all those attacking the OP for not religiously reading school missives and all the rest. OP presumably left school at 16 and is now older than 16, so why should she have to follow cretinous school rules? The child’s reading is done, just not filled in according to school’s arbitrary rules; so what? State schools are here at the service of children and parents, not vice versa.

As for ticking off parents for posting on Facebook – kids may be ticked off by teachers, not grown-up parents.

States schools are there to work in the best interests of the children!! Not the parents. But we would generally hope to be on the same side.

@Hubbleisback

And the point is, if mum only records week 1 (1st-7th on the month, say) on the 11th of the month, but teacher totted up week 1 on Friday 8th, then on Friday 15th he or she can include 1st-7th which is now on the record, and so get a true picture of how much reading has been done when the final record is taken on the 31st. It takes two seconds!

@ADropofReality

I do agree with you about Mumsnet, there have been so many threads where a parent has posted a thread about an issue similar to this one, other posters have told her she's being U, and given advice on the best way to handle it. She's been very grateful and has then reported the following day how it's all been resolved without any major fallout.

It's a shame that in this case, the OP had potentially already escalated it by discussing it on Facebook. (Although we still don't know whether that's actually what the meeting was about.)

I think it is possible that the OP acted impulsively partly because she was hormonal? It's strange how few allowances posters on here have had towards her for being so near her due date? (She may actually have had her baby and that's why she hasn't been on here. This site is supposed to be supportive towards parents.

(I'm not saying she's handled all this in the best way, but usually posters are more compassionate, and interested when a poster is about to give birth. Very odd.)

@Hubbleisback Often state schools do what is not in the interest of either parent or child but in the interest of the school. All public services end up like this and politicians often connive.

If you asked for an explanation they should be able to give you one OP so no YANBU in my opinion. Whether explaining to a parent or child you would think the teacher/TA would have some basic skills to a) explain a concept and b) check that you have understood as it was clearly bothering you and your DC. As your aim is simply to get the best for your DC's learning and playtime and you are not on a mission to dis the staff then I would not worry if this was a private matter with no names mentioned, you did nothing wrong as far as I can see.

State schools are there to work for parents

They really are not! And this is a misconception that has been allowed to grow unchecked amongst some parents and is playing a huge part in the numbers of teachers walking out.

ADropofReality what would be in the best interests of the school? A school without children is just a building?

did you ask who is going to be in attendance at the meeting? the school will probably have a witness so they can record whatever gets said.

you should go with your DH in case they get funny.

I have a FB account with privacy set as high as you can. Mostly my ''friends'' are my overseas family with approx 6 locals who I thought/think of as close friends. 12 months ago, it came out one of the rare locals on the page was showing my page to others. Lesson learnt, while other people may be on a private page having a private discussion, it doesn't stop anyone from that page from using the information in other ways and screen printing your comments. You have been outed.

It's a bit of a shocker that the 'punishment' is no extra play. Isn't play supposed to be one of the most valuable things to the health and wellbeing of a child, why are they taking it away for not recording things exactly to the letter!

I don’t understand why you don’t write a few comments while your child is reading to you. That’s what teachers do. Surely his record comes with his book? It’s common sense and takes no extra time! You have made a massive deal out of a non-issue and it’s your fault if he’s missed out on the extra play!

They're not taking anything away. The clue is in the word "extra" play.

Extra play is not an entitlement. I'm guessing it is an incentive to encourage children to read at home so that they make greater progress. Perhaps a better option would be to have an incentive for parents to hear their children read?? By the way there is many a teacher who goes home to their own children to hear them read before they go to bed too.

State schools are there to work for parents (often with busy day jobs and busy nights looking after DC) and children, not vice versa.
Schools are there to educate children. They do not work FOR parents and got around what is convenient for parents.
Take my school with over 1500-2000 students. How exactly should we run our school for the convenience of all 1000-1500 families?
OhDearGodLookAtThisMess
I agree. They are not being punished. They miss out on a reward.

My school does rewards trips for different things. Should we not do them because that's punishing others who don't get to go on them?

Much as I wouldn't choose to run a system like the school in the OP, it's hardly rocket science how it works. Some people are deliberately awkward and think rules and deadlines don't apply to them and their family.

Was there an update tonight?

It's the old "just one more" thing, isn't it? It won't matter if I "just" ask if I can "just" have allowances made, "just" for me.

You turn up to an airport late? Tough. You miss your plane.
You've left your passport at home? Tough. You don't fly.
We can make deadlines if they're important to us. Bottom line is that this rule isn't important to the OP. So her child is missing out on a reward. Don't be blaming the school for that.

An incentive for parents to listen to their own children read... What the actual fuck.

Why on earth should a parent need an incentive to essentially be a parent!?!? Jesus H Christ.

The mind boggles.

@Kolo

I regularly forged both my kids reading records at primary.

One i can count on one hand the number of books ive seen her read from beginning to end. I was told by staff all through she has a fantastic vocabulary and must be incredibly well read, shes gifted and talented especially in English. Shes still a high achiever, still reads the barest minimum unless its graphic novels.

The other has SN reads for fun. I actually homeschooled him to read. But flatly refused to read anything but whatever was his current favourite book. He also only read some days cos other days he was too tired. I used to spread the reading he did on 3-4 of the days to cover the 5 times a week. A bad wèek i forged the lot. It was massively important to me he keeps reading for fun.

But it goes to show what nonsense a reward for having x number if entries in a book was.

@Florries

DD hated reading aloud to me. Probably helped kill her love of reading full stop. Im not sure that there is any bribe you could have bribed me with thay could have made me want to prolong that agony. She was a high achiever anyway. She didnt gain from reading aloud to me

Agree with @MaisyPops

What kind of deluded muppet think schools are run for the benefit of parent? Schools are all about the education of children. If people see it as free childcare then that’s their own silly fault.

Fuck me, how petty is this, seriously, stop writing it on a white board, write it in his log daily and get it done by a Thursday.

All this angst over something so easily avoidable.