I think the teacher is wanting to see me about what I said on Facebook...

[TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter]

Do I have a leg to stand on?

One of the TA's has been disregarding my 7yo DC's hard work and he missed out on 'extra play' despite doing the work asked of him (I can go into more detail if needed).

This is reading that is done at home and written in a book for school.

The TA was counting the reads, in fact totally ignoring most of them.

I bought it up with her, she tried to explain which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I played it over in my mind for 2 days and did not understand why they weren't counting all of my sons reads and why he was missing out. Reading doesn't come easy to him, he would rather not do it, it's a battle every day. Yet we do it, we record it, but it's not being ticked off by the TA (some is, some is ignored).

Still not understanding why 50% of it is ignored, I went on to the Facebook class page. It's a closed group of 20-30 parents. A closed and private group.

I posted a picture of his book and asked them to help me make sense of it. I don't understand??
Some other parents couldn't understand either.
I said I was really disappointed in the person who marked it. That I would mark it for them and add up his reads and do their job so they could see in black and white what work he had done. I haven't mentioned any names. It's happened to other kids too and they are missing out on 'extra play' as well despite doing the hard work.

DS has been in tears about this several times.

It wasn't an issue for the first 3 years at school and it wasn't a an issue for the 7 years my other DS was at this school. It's an issue now.

Now they have called me in for a meeting at 3pm - I cant make it today but I'm almost certain this is what it's about.
I think someone has reported me being annoyed with them and posting asking for advice about it on Facebook.

But surely I can ask for advice and express my disappointment (the only negative word I used, I was very careful!) no names mentioned?
I need to know if I've done something wrong here.

I'm still seriously fucked off them them so I held back what I really thought and just saved that information for my husband.

AIBU?

I'm afraid it looks to me that you are making up the reading after the fact as it would to any member of school staff who has been around the block a bit and getting annoyed that you have finally been rumbled

Haha, yes, exactly! That's what I meant with my comment above about how remembering page numbers days after the event would be pretty difficult if you never wrote them down, so I reckon they were made up at the weekend.

I don't know why you're going on haranguing her, she's quite clearly not coming back. What's the point???

OP, instead of piss balling around making a note of the pages read on a white board, why can't you just put them down where you've been asked? As for you writing that you were going to do the TA's job for her, on a facebook group, out of order. Even it's closed! You should know that.

I think it's sad though that only kids that get the help at home get the extra play. Some parents can't/won't help with this, it's not the childs fault.

Get a life, guys, she's gone. It's an interesting discussion about how best to encourage children's learning in school. But haranguing the OP is pointless now.

LIzzie for someone who thinks others are overinvested in keeping the thread going, you sure are doing a great job of responding to everyone.

I'm interested in the discussion in itself, how to encourage children' 's reading, especially as I have 2 DDs in primary school; we fill in reading records for them, though there aren't any rewards given to them for that. It's a system I don't know so it's interesting.

Carrying on attacking an OP who is patently not interested seems a bit daft by contrast.

I have given up hearing ds read. He hates reading the school books. Ed psych said it was more important for attainment that he read for pleasure. He shows me passages in the books he is reading so we get to talk about them then. Rather he read for pleasure than get put off reading altogether.

Holy moses - this is why teachers are leaving in the thousands (I am one of them). Now we're being micromanaged by senior leaders, the government, AND parents??? It's an absolute no-win situation.

Have not read the whole thread, but in the OP you said you approached the TA. When unsatisfied with a response, you escalate: TA to teacher, teacher to head of year, head of year to deputy head, deputy head to head. You don't go out of your way by posting flippant remarks on social media trying to undermine a professional and get a whole group of people to turn on them by making them appear to be stupid.

Do you want this person to have a positive relationship with your son or do you want that adult to be walking on eggshells thinking every tiny thing (not that this is THAT small a thing as it is upsetting your child) will have such a nuclear reaction??? It is honestly small thing like this that could push a professional over the edge. Do you not want your child to have a teacher at all??

@bitingcat I use the different pen method too. So happy to see your post; I was wondering if I was the only person who forged their child’s reading diary

You don't go out of your way by posting flippant remarks on social media trying to undermine a professional and get a whole group of people to turn on them by making them appear to be stupid.

I'll accept that from any teacher who is willing to swear on their child's life that they have never, not once, bitched amongst themselves to another teacher about a child and/or parent.

Anyone who can't grasp that people will sometimes vent to one another, and that will at times be about them, is not really living in the real world. Teachers, and schools, don't get to dictate parental conversations. And it's really rather crass if they are going to raise a locked, private conversation, shared without consent by a third party, with a parent. Hopefully, they'll have more class.

To clarify, a teacher is a graduate with extra professional classroom training.

A TA isn’t. They can be but they do not have to be to get the job.

Have not read the whole thread, but in the OP you said you approached the TA. When unsatisfied with a response, you escalate: TA to teacher, teacher to head of year, head of year to deputy head, deputy head to head. You don't go out of your way by posting flippant remarks on social media trying to undermine a professional and get a whole group of people to turn on them by making them appear to be stupid
This.
Simple common sense.
If irritated then I'd understand having a chat to a friend over coffee about how a situation has annoyed you.
The OP's actions weren't a vent to a friend. It was a calculated attempt to shit stir on social media by bringing someone's professionalism and ability to do their job into question. It's nasty and faux naive 'oh I was just confused' doesn't wash.

The teacher may want to see the OP about something unrelated. It is possible!!

@CrohnicallyEarly

I’m amazed you can’t see the problem with the system you describe.

The kid who reads 20 pages a day but whose parent only fills in the record once or twice a week, backfilling (accurately) from the time they last filled it in, only gets one or two rewards.

The kid who reads 7 pages in a single sitting once a week, but whose parent is prepared to connive in filling in the record that it’s one page a day, gets seven rewards.

Yet you celebrate this, because kid B’s parent has followed THE SYSTEM the school has laid out, even though kid A is reading 20 times the amount of kid B.

Which, of course, is everything wrong with the British state school system. Everything convenient to the teacher, no attention paid to what children are actually learning.

Bitching in private is not the same as publishing on the internet, even if the group is private. A conversation (unless recorded) is easily brushed off. The written word? It will be there forever.

And what 'advice' could this group possibly give you other than to speak to the school???

This makes me so cross. How on Earth would this whole incident help your child? This is called lawnmower parenting and bullying.

Everything convenient to the teacher, no attention paid to what children are actually learning.

Having been a teacher, I agree with half of that statement. It's about ticking boxes.

Everything convenient to the teacher?? Yeah, all those inane reports that no one at home actually reads, all those scrupulous lesson plans that have to be checked off weeks in advance? All those curriculum changes that aren't approved in time for teaching and planning? That whole crisis of retaining teachers? Yeah, it's all about convenience for teachers....

You know nothing Jon Snow.

=Yes everything is for the convenience of the teacher - are you being serious?? Why don't we go for a disorganised classroom where nobody knows what they are doing - infinitely better I assume?

Everything convenient to the teacher, no attention paid to what children are actually learning.
What nonsense.

All these people who think rules and routines don't apply to them / their child would be up in arms if lack of routine and consistency meant their child was worse off.
E.g.
Parent 1- checking a reading record on a Thursday is so ridiculous. It's only for the benefit of the teacher and has nothing yo do with learning. If I want to fill it in on Friday then that should be enough. Everything is set up to benefit the teacher and not the students. It's a joke.

Also Parent 1- I'm fuming my DC didn't get a reward. The teacher checked reading on Tuesday this week but did it on Friday last week. Now apparently my child didn't get their reward because the teacher keeps moving the goalposts. Typical of teachers. I could do their job better than them. How hard is it to pick a day and tell parents?

Aka. I want consistency and clarity but also want an exception for me.

@sailorcherries

This is not about a child doing week 1 homework in week 2. This is about a child doing week 1 homework in week 1, but mum not signing off on it until week 2, and (especially as the points are not tallied up til the end of the month, i.e. week 4 by which time mum has signed off on it), being punished for it. I've no idea how or why that is so difficult to understand.

Which, of course, is everything wrong with the British state school system. Everything convenient to the teacher, no attention paid to what children are actually learning.

Sorry, but that is beyond bullshit.

Teachers do indeed have to spend an insane amount of time tick-boxing. They hate it, and it's why they have to stay on after hours, night after night, doing worthless crap as well as the preparation, marking and actual teaching. They have to do it because they are stupidly monitored and micromanaged and it is a big part of why we are losing so many excellent teachers. But they also have to keep tabs on what kids are learning, so that they can differentiate.

I think this is virtual reality eavesdropping. I don't think teachers are different to any other profession - clients won't always be delighted, and will sometimes grumble to one another, and it won't always be fair. That's life. But I draw the line at wholly unfair characterisation of an underpaid, mostly very dedicated, and highly qualified group of people who spend their lives trying to increase life chances for our kids in increasingly difficult circumstances.

You sound nervous and afraid. I'm in another country. Do you not have freedom to express yourself whenever and wherever you wish to whomever you wish? Will your government penalize you or your child for being critical of a government employee? If not then why be nervous. You believe that your child is being treated unfairly and you spoke on it. What caring loving mother wouldn't? You should never fear anyone or anything when doing right by your child.

@psychicskate Sorry to trouble your idea the world revolves around schools, but most parents (especially those who work) haven't got time to escalate the TA being wrong through the chain you describe (full of people who will back the TA instinctively regardless of the merits of the case). Most people prefer to communicate with people in the same boat to see what can be done. Hence forums such as Mumsnet!

You need a reality check ADropofReality. A TA does not have the time to look back over the month. Believe me she has more important things to do in order to help provide an education fpr your child and the 29 others. The points are tallied each week and then added up at end of month. To use your words 'What is so difficult to understand?'.

but most parents (especially those who work) haven't got time to escalate the TA being wrong through the chain you describe
That's how to resolve things reasonably.
But your take on it explains why terrible advice is circulated online (usual types, parent mobs, nastiness, demanding meetings, threatening ofsted, etc) under the guise it gets you taken seriously.
The reality is people who take those approaches usually end up being well known in school for all the wrong reasons and staff become increasingly reluctant to deal with them without SLT or HOD support.