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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not care whether people say sex or gender.

999 replies

TeeJay1970 · 11/12/2018 21:48

Many people and organisations use these words interchangerbly. The meaning is always clear. I actually don't give a stuff if others disagree.

OP posts:
PositiveVibez · 11/12/2018 22:12

People can choose to use it in the wrong context and think they are correct.

You don't have to care.

I do.

You might say you don't care. It doesn't make your feelings on the matter any more important than mine. Only to you.

EmpressAdultHumanFemale · 11/12/2018 22:17

For anyone monitoring this thread, Germaine Bunbury's work gives a pretty clear explanation of the difference. You may want to look her up.

JacquesHammer · 11/12/2018 22:17

If you don’t give a stuff whether other’s agree OP, why are you annoyed at being corrected?

Fluffiest · 11/12/2018 22:18

I kind of agree with the OP. Ten years ago we weren't continually stumbling over having to separate gender and sex. We've divorced gender from sex to allow for the trans ideology but I'm not sure if that's actually been helpful.

And if gender isn't meant to be based on sex then what is it about? Personality types? Nearest cliche you fit in?

Original poster
TeeJay1970 · 11/12/2018 22:19

What's wrong with the dictionay definition?

OP posts:
Snorkers · 11/12/2018 22:19

Yabu

Original poster
TeeJay1970 · 11/12/2018 22:20

I'm annoyed at the manner in which I'm "corrected".

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 11/12/2018 22:21

Where is all this “correcting” happening...?

titchy · 11/12/2018 22:21

'Typically used...' =/= 'Typically used CORRECTLY...'

HTH. Not that you care of course OP you so do Wink

FamilyOfAliens · 11/12/2018 22:23

Still not sure why someone would start a post on a subject they claim not to care about.

Have you not got presents to wrap or something, OP?

JW1226 · 11/12/2018 22:24

I'm annoyed at the manner in which I'm "corrected".

Irritating to say the least.
I mean the nhs provide "gender" scans to reveal the "sex" of the baby.

Cherrysherbet · 11/12/2018 22:27

YANBU. I really don’t give a shit. Sick of hearing about it tbh. It’s just the latest thing people like to bash others for, when they get it ‘wrong’.
Gender/sex...we all know what it means.

TwistedChristmas · 11/12/2018 22:31

Facebook gives a choice of 70+ genders. There are only 2 sexes.

You must have been living in a cave to not understand the importance of not conflating the two words.

HestiaParthenos · 11/12/2018 22:32

I kind of agree with the OP. Ten years ago we weren't continually stumbling over having to separate gender and sex. We've divorced gender from sex to allow for the trans ideology but I'm not sure if that's actually been helpful.

It hasn't been helpful at all, but now it is that way and you have to use the word "sex" if you want people to understand that no, you actually don't want penis in women's spaces.

And I happen to care very much about not having penis in women's spaces.

Fluffiest · 11/12/2018 22:47

I care about that too hestia and for the most part I do talk use sex, biology and male/female to be understood.

But I do think that it is a point worth making that there isn't an alternative definition of gender to the one that the OP has posted. It's like the trans definition of a woman - there isn't one.

When I am in a stubborn mood I feel like saying, "sod it. Gender and sex are actually the same in most conversations and actually they are only two categories."

raspberryTrousers · 12/12/2018 05:41

I couldn't care less.

I know what '10 items or less' means when I'm in a supermarket or 'she gave it to myself' or 'I don't have none'.

Pedants, transphobes, keyboard warriors and arseholes get worked up about sex / gender. Unless it's genuinely confusing, they can bore off.

Language shouldn't be policed - its raison d'etre is to communicate an idea.

Baking101 · 12/12/2018 05:57

To me, gender reveal sounds more correct than sex reveal. But then, I dunno why you'd be that boring as to need to throw a party to reveal what your baby will be. That just says you have too much time on your hands. But that's a different issue.

ApplesinmyPocket · 12/12/2018 06:02

It does matter actually (I suspect OP knows this, but for anyone genuinely debating ..)

We can change our 'gender' but we can never change our sex.

We segregate for the sake of privacy, dignity and safety on the basis of sex not gender

Conflating these two very distinct meanings began as a sort of accident as people were prudish about the Sex word and thought Gender was more 'genteel'. It's led to a lot of confusion (accidental in the first place but now often quite deliberate.

Because (astonishingly) even governments and official bodies now say 'this person has changed their gender; so now they must be allowed into the facilities meant for the opposite sex.'

nitescreamer · 12/12/2018 06:35

I guess that I would just assume that the writer was prudish and probably didn't have the same educational opportunities that I have had. They are two quite distinct concepts once you have studied them. In the same way as if someone wrote weather instead of whether or their instead of there. It isn't their fault that they can't distinguish two different concepts.

I wouldn't correct them per se but would always reply using the correct term though as for example a gender scan would be impossible. I don't think it is kind though to be openly judging people because of their lack of education in this area even if inside I am thinking that they won't know the baby's gender for a good few years yet .

I think that my main concern though would be that a person who doesn't know the difference would assume that a scan which shows the sex is a girl for example would be making assumptions about their child's gender on the basis of that scan. I think it can be quite damaging for example to assume that only girls can like pink and so if they mix up the concept of sex and gender would they also make this error too.

Hundredacrewoods · 12/12/2018 06:42

The meaning is not always clear. Would you assume that the use of the word gender in the context of prison segregation would actually mean sex? That assumption may well be wrong.

yesyouareyouare · 12/12/2018 06:48

I don't care either.

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/12/2018 06:49

You should care.

You should care very much that the word sex is being removed from all policies and replaces with the word gender.

When we lose our sex based rights and change amongst thise who share "the same gender "

When you are on a hospital ward drugged out of your skill half naked opposite a "woman " built like a a shit house you will wish that you had taken more notice

raspberryTrousers · 12/12/2018 06:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sherrysfortea · 12/12/2018 06:53

OP do you really lack the basic understanding of biology vs. Philosophy or are you a troll?

I hope it's the latter.

Autumnsunrise · 12/12/2018 06:58

It's like vulva and vagina. The female sex organs. Often misused. We should strive to be biologically correct.