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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not care whether people say sex or gender.

999 replies

TeeJay1970 · 11/12/2018 21:48

Many people and organisations use these words interchangerbly. The meaning is always clear. I actually don't give a stuff if others disagree.

OP posts:
RatRolyPoly · 12/12/2018 12:58

raspberry where the heck have you been hiding?? I come at the question of words and their meanings from the perspective of the philosophy of language, but I think we end up at much the same place.

There are two sexes. Everything else is just personality.

Lol. That's only true if your definition of the word "personality" no longer refers only to one's "character" and is broadened to include things such as identity. Which, according to the dictionary, it doesn't.

Whether or not I see myself as an immigrant, an ethnic minority, an abuse survivor, a failure, a role model etc. says nothing whatsoever about my character. So... not "personality" then.

But if you acknowledge that's how you're using the word then I suppose we can agree. What you call "personality" I call personality and identity, including - for example - gender identity. So we're talking about the same thing, right?

KlutzyDraconequus · 12/12/2018 13:00

As someone who thinks language is important, surely you'd see that the things you addressed are not qualifications.

Qualifications, should you be interested:

BSc, BSc, MSc, NPQH

Well done.. you've proven my point.
Than you very much. Please do continue to teach those imaginary kids at your imaginary school.
I just can't be arsed with you.

E20mom · 12/12/2018 13:01

I also don't care.

Deadbudgie · 12/12/2018 13:04

I don’t care either. Until I started reading posts on here I just assumed people used gender to stop 14 year olds giggling at the word sex! The world would be a lot better place if we stopped complicating it

raspberryTrousers · 12/12/2018 13:06

This reply has been deleted

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pollysproggle · 12/12/2018 13:06

I don't care either especially when it's obvious. I make cakes and I'm often asked to make a 'gender reveal cake'.
No one has asked for a sex reveal cake.

KlutzyDraconequus · 12/12/2018 13:11

Oh raspberry
Please keep proving my.point.. you'll twigg what my point is eventually, I'll not spoil it for you. Smile

raspberryTrousers · 12/12/2018 13:12

You'll gender off soon

tellmewhenthespaceshiplands · 12/12/2018 13:13

Raspberry I'm with you that language shouldn't be policed, it's worrying how much this is happening now. What are your thoughts on the policing of the word (and use of) woman?

KlutzyDraconequus · 12/12/2018 13:14

You'll gender off soon

Ooo I'm burnt.. such a scathing comment.
Makes no sense at all, but nevermind.

YepImafraidIchangeditagain · 12/12/2018 13:19

You know what feminists should be against?? Passive aggressive insults and biting comments from women to other women that don't agree with their exact opinion or ask for clarification of facts.

This kind of shit is what make feminists look bad. Have a decent, respectful conversation ladies- if your true belief is real feminism, be kind and teach, not berate.

raspberryTrousers · 12/12/2018 13:21

@tellmewhenthespaceshiplands

"What are your thoughts on the policing of the word (and use of) woman?"

I said earlier that we need levels of accuracy depending on the situation. Be more specific in your question and I'll happily answer.

KlutzyDraconequus · 12/12/2018 13:25

Be more specific in your question and I'll happily answer.

Didn't you understand the question?
I'll try to make it clearer for you..

"What are your thoughts on the policing of the word (and use of) woman?"

In recent times, the word "woman" has been policed by certain Twitter users. They've had billboards removed and accused people of transphobia for describing women as women.

What are your thoughts on that policing?

raspberryTrousers · 12/12/2018 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplands · 12/12/2018 13:29

Raspberry my question was in response to your earlier comments -

Pedants, transphobes, keyboard warriors and arseholes get worked up about sex / gender. Unless it's genuinely confusing, they can bore off.

Language shouldn't be policed - its raison d'etre is to communicate an idea.

I'm thinking of some very vocal groups such as TRAs getting cross that using the word women in its biological context is triggering? In this instance language is being policed.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplands · 12/12/2018 13:30

Shit Klutzy we've been rumbled!

The beauty of x posting Wink

KlutzyDraconequus · 12/12/2018 13:32

Really, what's your problem?

People claiming bullshit online to try and add weight to their opinions.

KlutzyDraconequus · 12/12/2018 13:33

tell
Are you one of my multiple personalities? Are you the one that drinks all the bloody milk? Buy more if you do..

RatRolyPoly · 12/12/2018 13:34

In recent times, the word "woman" has been policed by certain Twitter users. They've had billboards removed and accused people of transphobia for describing women as women.

Sorry to cut in, but I thought it was the intent which was being policed on Twitter; i.e. the intent to cause distress. And included in that I believe they consider "knowing the effect will be to cause distress" as tantamount to intent.

Isn't that right? Isn't that also why the billboard was removed?

That's just what I understood anyway. I don't use Twitter so I'm just sort of speculating as to their T&Cs.

KlutzyDraconequus · 12/12/2018 13:42

RatRolyPoly

It's a valid point and I believe that is the justification. At the same time isn't it ridiculous that a man can call himself a woman and phone the police if someone doesn't agree?

There in lies the problem..
Men are taking the word.woman and twisting it's definition to include themselves and anyone that disgarees, or suggests that science is truth, they'll threaten, call the police, have removed from twitter and even threaten the women's children.

Some men want woman to mean a man that presents as female. And natural birthed women to be labelled CisWomen. Any deviation is met with screams of transphobia.

raspberryTrousers · 12/12/2018 13:43

@tellmewhenthespaceshiplands

You're clearly not the same people as your posts are intelligible!

"I'm thinking of some very vocal groups such as TRAs getting cross that using the word women in its biological context is triggering? In this instance language is being policed."

Firstly, I think it's a false premise to call TRAs a "group". I'm not an activist of any kind but of course I believe in rights for trans people.

I think that almost anyone who claims things to be triggering needs to understand just how foolish it makes them look.

I think that policing language on Facebook and Twitter and those who posters seem gleeful in their correction of others when gender and sex are used synonymously are wrong. It is unimportant and most don't care.

Legally it can have bearing although sometimes not and whether men and women should abide by different laws is a different but interesting discussion. Many laws use male pronouns for either sex or gender.

I think that current 'liberal' culture is hung up on policing language. It's amazing how many MN'ers have such similar views to the alt-right in the US on certain topics.

I think language should have extremely minimal restrictions when we talk about legal policing. When we talk about "vocal on Twitter" then who cares. Really. Do you care if a TRA says they're triggered by your 124 characters?

Helmetbymidnight · 12/12/2018 13:47

It annoys me to be asked my gender.

I have a sex- female. I don’t have a gender or a gender identity.

placemats · 12/12/2018 13:54

I care for the millions of women who because of a 'gender' scan abort their female foetus.

I care because of the millions of abandoned female babies born who are abandoned or killed.

I care because of the female teenagers raped and sexually assaulted in gangs, warfare.

I care because of the millions of young teenage women who are unable to access education full time because they cannot afford period protection. This is world wide and not confined to so called third world countries.

I care about the distinction.

So should you.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplands · 12/12/2018 13:55

Your right in much of what you've said there Raspberry but actually I do care if a TRA is triggered by something I say online as we've seen instances of others hounded just as Klutzy describes. I'll be honest and say I'm not brave or articulate enough to hold my own on Twitter and although I'm questioning more than I used to now around gender/sex (it is important to me!) I'm still st the baby steps stage. Someone like Posie is putting her head above the parapet for me and my Dd and what she gets back can be bloody frightening. And all because someone is triggered or it's literal violence Confused

placemats · 12/12/2018 13:57

I care for the millions of women who because of a 'gender' scan abort their female foetus.

Just to clarify I think abortion should be legal and on demand (which isn't the case in the UK btw). The majority of these women are coerced into the abortion because of 'gender'.