Finding it hard not to be angry and bitter today

[Leighhalfpennysthigh]

This is a rant. There is no solution, I just need to vent on here or else I may well vent elsewhere.

I have no children and no husband. I do have an elderly, but mostly well and active father and a mother in law who is terminally ill - but not imminent. She could live a year, she could live 6 months. It's just the nature of the beast.

I also have a business that I work very hard to maintain, especially at the moment when I'm juggling nursing my mother in law. My business involves working with professional/semi professional sports people and so we are booked in for some sports matches over Christmas and New Year. Normally I'd take the burden if most of these, as it's my business. However, this year I can't because I have a lot of my mother in law's, and by virtue of that, my late husband's family coming over from the Caribbean to stay with us. I'm thrilled about this and can't wait to see them, that's not a problem. The problem is that my staff - who I've rarely asked to do anything they didn't want to do - are refusing to cover some of the matches because they want to be home with their children. I actually had one day to me today that me leaving my mother in law (did I mention she's terminally fucking ill and needs nursing) is less important than her leaving her children with their fucking father for one day. It is the lack of empathy that got to me. I think I'm a pretty fair employer. I don't expect parents to work the tours unless they want to, I let them work as flexible as possible and take time out for appts, assemblies etc. All I wanted was this year for some compassion and understanding in return and for a few people to take on the Christmas work that I normall do myself.

I'm so angry. It's like my life is worth less.

Flipping heck. I hate people who think having children means that they get top priority for holidays. Part of being professional is being flexible a team player- for example, this year I’ve requested most of Christmas off, but will pickup odd days so that colleagues get a break too.

I’m glad your business partner stood up for you

Oh the third, sorry I didn't mention her. She was very defensive and tried to argue why it was important that she couldn't work that day. Unfortunately nothing she said changed our minds so she got a written warning. Later on this afternoon she did come back to the office and apologised, so we'll see what happens there. My feeling is that she is young and easily led by her colleague who was sacked. In the new year we're going to look at asking an older, more experienced colleague to mentor her a bit. I don't think she'll let us down, but I don't trust as much as I did.

I've had a few messages from other members of staff who have heard various things from the one who got sacked. We're going to send an email to all staff tomorrow to say that she has left.

I have read all the thread and am so pleased your business partner and friend clearly has your back. for you as you are having a hard time and nasty thoughtlessness from others can really be the final straw. Sounds amazing that your MIL's family are coming to see her finally.

But what I am still not sure of is how the team (ie the 3? women plus others) knew precisely what hours or days they would be working. Was the July conversation a vague we might need you on these days or was it on 26th you need to be in this location at this time? I personally as an employee would be really irritated if conversation 1 had taken place then nothing until 2 weeks before hand. If they are on standby - are they still paid? If conversation 2 then nothing more to be said.

I just hope there will be no repercussions from her having been fired on the spot, presumably without a warning, OP? Could she get away with trying to claim unfair dismissal or would she be laughed out of court?
I know nothing about employment law, it was just the first thing I wondered when I read your update. I feel she deserves it for refusing to fulfill her contractual obligations and for her disgraceful attitude towards you - it's almost as if she wanted to be fired, or has she just got no filter or idea of how to behave towards your employer?

All the best for a peaceful and as happy a Christmas as possible for you and your family.

I just wanted to come on and say I salute you in your conduct in such trying circumstances and I cold hug your business partner! You are both amazing!

at such appallingly rude, disrespectful and unprofessional behaviour. The bitch deserved to be sacked.

I've had a few messages from other members of staff who have heard various things from the one who got sacked

No surprise there - but since you said the rest are decent I'm sure it'll soon simmer down and be "yesterday's news"

Your "easily led" view of the third one is very generous in the circumstances; personally I'd wonder if the apology was more a reaction to the written warning than anything more sincere. However you know her best and given how you've handled this overall I'm certain it will all work out one way or another

Just don't let anyone walk over you in future!!

hire me, I am a parent but still manage to juggle both so as not to let my employer down, they probably don't care but I do it regardless with no excuses.

Pathetic question Angie.

Did you miss the infertility board?

There are also loads of posters here who don’t even want children. Mumsnet welcomes everyone as long as they’re not arseholes.

Angiemum24 - are you the woman who the OP sacked earlier today?

She was fired for gross misconduct witnessed by staff and two directors. I am sure she will try and be trouble but fundamentally a well written letter of dismmisal (get a lawyer to help) would go a long way to tying up any loose ends

Angiemum24 - it used to be, to be fair to you. But Mumsnet grew and grew and now it covers daily life. Advice given from some of the brightest, most intelligent women on the planet (most of the time!).

Naff Off Angie

Enjoy your well earned Christmas with your lovely family and friends xx

If the staff contracts allow you to determine when they work then it doesn't matter what the reason why you want them to instead of covering yourself. Your staff seem very selfish not to at least try to help out given the circumstances. Can't always be a friend with staff, there has to be a you and them line. Do hope you find a resolution and if no one comes forward just declare no further time off for oersonal events.

*Angiemum24 no it isn't

Only been employed a few months...no employment rights.
You should probably pay her notice period though. You didn’t hold a disciplinary meeting so unlikely your contract allows for instant dismissal under probation.

I think the sharp tongued malcontent that you sacked (Angie, was it you?) will give you some grief over the next few days.

Investing some time tomorrow to make sure you have all in order to evidence her gross misconduct (insubordination to her director? Bullying?) would be a good plan. fingers crossed for you she has less than two years service, and hasn't a leg to stand on. Usually I'm all for making sure that all the necessary is in place and the process followed before moving in these situations, but with you in tears and her saying such dreadful things, I think your business partner had little choice. And it's done now anyway, so protect yourself. I can't feel a bit sorry for her, the baggage.

again, and don't let the bastards get you down.

My Goodness. I’ve just read what she said, It’s horrendous. I’m sorry to say, after I read the other thread where people are suggesting doing awful things to a man whose asked to take an hour out of Xmas Day to remember his Mum, I can’t say I’m shocked.

OP, you sound lovely and your MIL sounds like an amazing lady too.

Sack her? How did you manage not to batter her fucking brain out?