Messaged friends at 0740 this morning

[Idontlikecheesecake]

We’re moving house and had an offer accepted yesterday so im very excited. I was looking through my phone when i woke up this morning and thought id told my friends in a group chat, but i hadnt so i sent them a message. It was 0740, a time when most people are getting up/already up getting ready for work or getting kids ready for school etc so I thought it was ok.

Only one friend had seen it and she sent me a message saying ‘couldnt you have sent this a bit later when we’re more awake?’ I joked that im on the night shift tonight so i could send a message at 3am, and then she actually had a go at me over messenger (she even swore) saying how she got kicked in the leg by a horse and wanted to have a lie in and it wasn’t the right time for her phone to be pinging all the time.

I just said I wasn’t to know she’d been injured, it was a reasonable time as lots of people are getting ready for work etc, and if she didnt want to be disturbed she shpuld have her phone on silent or whatever. To which she replied she doesn’t normally get messages at that time so why should she? She then removed herself from the group and sent a mutual friend a messaged saying i had annoyed her.

It just feels like a really petty and childish argument. To me it feels like she’s dictating to everyone else when we should be sending messages and shes speaking for them about what a reasonable time should be. And im annoyed that she had a go at me over something so petty

Its also not just this argument. Shes blamed me for stuff before. Like just after Christmas we were all going round a friends house for takeaway and she wanted to go put for a meal, and she didnt want to come because i had upset her. All i did was explain to her that we cant really afford to go out for a meal and a takeaway is easier because of childcare etc

She also often declines invites to do things or cancels at the last minute wih some crappy excus. And then when we don’t invite her, she’ll write a passive aggressive message like ‘gee thanks for the invite’

Shes a fairweather friend and im done with her. AIBU? Ive been fed up for a while but feel like this is the last straw

She envies you and jealous.
She was more annoyed of the news and your success.
I won't classify her as a friend.

7.40 am is inconsiderate, as is messaging after 9.30pm. It’s just a matter of thinking about others...

I think to start another group without her would be just mean. She was having a bad morning & clearly in pain & possibly a bit frightened, you got a bit of miss directled anger, get over it & be nice.
As others have said, an apology would have been appropriate, not justification & arguing back.

math
Genuine question. Is broadband the same as mobile phone coverage?

I thought mobile coverage was to do with appropriate mast locations and signal strength, thus making it more expensive to ensure full coverage somewhere like UK compared with Netherlands. (So both investment and geography).

I really don't think there is an excuse for getting uppity about when you get messages. Technology makes it so easy to chose who contacts you and when nowadays that it really is up to you to sort your tech and settings out of you give that much of a shit about it. Maybe it was excusable to be precious about it a few years ago but things have moved on. It's not fair if you refuse to sort your settings out but expect everyone else to second guess your feelings and dance to your tune. Diva behaviour.

Your friend is a bellend OP.

Regardless of whether it is or isn't too early to text, I find her response inappropriate and it would have got my back up too.

If I was her and annoyed at your timing I would have silently grumbled and then congratulated you on your good news.

However it sounds like because it was your news she would have been negative regardless!

I sometimes get messages early hours or really busy times in the morning. I will read it if i hear my phone, but i wont replay till later. I don't understand the need to reply to every message straight away. I'm mid 20s and many friends are annoyed by my not replying straight away attitude.

Oh dear sounds like a bit of jealousy. I use my phone for my alarm in the mornings (hubby complains about the beep beep beep alarm as he calls it), it takes 2 seconds to switch to airplane mode. Alarm still sounds but anything else doesn’t come through .. problem solved

Sounds like an ex friend of mine who complained I posted too often on facebook. I said, fine turn off your notifications but he unfriended me instead! Charming. Your friend sounds utterly unreasonable, no wonder the horse kicked her.

errr how is she a friend ?

I am a supply teacher so cannot turn phone off in case an agency rings but I use the do not disturb feature which means I do not hear texts or whatsapps that come throgh between 10pm and 7am

She is a silly moo. Just drop her. Do not engage ever again. That is my sincere advice.

How pathetic, anything post 7am weekdays cannot be considered too early

I used to work with someone just as petty, you’d send a e mail, albeit work related in the evening, something that he did not have to action until following working day and next day he’d complain to the bosses as he read the mail that night and couldn’t sleep as he was worried about it. He was a flipping driver and the e mails would just be additional information for a pick up or delivery

Some people are so full of their own self importance and I wouldn’t let it worry you

She didn’t have to have her phone right by her head not on silent whilst asleep. Silly dramatic ‘me me me’ woman.

Sounds like a right jumped up little witch. That's not a friend love. That's a enemy. Get rid like the rubbish. Friends don't speak to each other like that. If she had messaged me saying that I would of told her to sod off. Just for the record my phones turned off at night and on wen I'm awake and ready to accept texts.

She’s no friend. Cut her out of your life.

I too don't understand why people are acting like it's rude to message someone at a time when they might be busy with the kids etc. You don't actually need to read it immediately! I just ignore messages when I'm busy/ can't be arsed and read and reply later. Why not just ignore it if you can't respond at that moment? If it's urgent the person would call rather than text surely, so no need to check all texts immediately. Bizarre relationship with your phone IMO if you find that a text interrupts your day

www.highspeedinternet.com/resources/fixed-wireless-vs-mobile-broadband-internet/
This may shed some light, TeenTimesTwo. (It's a bit technical and term-heavy though, and also with a US context).

Your phone is basically a device for accessing the internet. Wireless broadband (aka wifi) is a technology that provides high speed internet to users utilising radio waves as the medium.

Appropriate mast locations and signal strength are a function of investment in the nuts and bolts.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_broadband?kbid=102222
More here.

www.theregister.co.uk/2017/11/29/why_does_no_one_want_to_invest_in_full_fibre_broadband_wails_ukgov/
Investment issues.

Some people are so full of their own self importance

The irony of this after what you have just posted.

What ?

I'm with the people who have said there was wrong on both sides. The OP's friend should have her phone on Do Not Disturb, but 7.40am is too early for texting on trivial matters.

I shall now go away and pick the fence splinters out of my arse!

Thanks math.
(Considering my DB has written books on mobile phone transmission technology, I really should understand it better. [grin[)

I'm out of the house by 7:40, I envy those who say it's too early to send a text!

Sounds like the horse kicked her in the head instead of the leg

YANBU OP... how petty and childish she was.

I’m used to getting messages from friends and family at all sort of hours because they live abroad.

I just put the phone on silent until im ready to be disturbed like many have mentioned. If I had a go at anyone who sent me a text at 7am, I would have no friends left!

you are well rid of this drama lama!