Messaged friends at 0740 this morning

[Idontlikecheesecake]

We’re moving house and had an offer accepted yesterday so im very excited. I was looking through my phone when i woke up this morning and thought id told my friends in a group chat, but i hadnt so i sent them a message. It was 0740, a time when most people are getting up/already up getting ready for work or getting kids ready for school etc so I thought it was ok.

Only one friend had seen it and she sent me a message saying ‘couldnt you have sent this a bit later when we’re more awake?’ I joked that im on the night shift tonight so i could send a message at 3am, and then she actually had a go at me over messenger (she even swore) saying how she got kicked in the leg by a horse and wanted to have a lie in and it wasn’t the right time for her phone to be pinging all the time.

I just said I wasn’t to know she’d been injured, it was a reasonable time as lots of people are getting ready for work etc, and if she didnt want to be disturbed she shpuld have her phone on silent or whatever. To which she replied she doesn’t normally get messages at that time so why should she? She then removed herself from the group and sent a mutual friend a messaged saying i had annoyed her.

It just feels like a really petty and childish argument. To me it feels like she’s dictating to everyone else when we should be sending messages and shes speaking for them about what a reasonable time should be. And im annoyed that she had a go at me over something so petty

Its also not just this argument. Shes blamed me for stuff before. Like just after Christmas we were all going round a friends house for takeaway and she wanted to go put for a meal, and she didnt want to come because i had upset her. All i did was explain to her that we cant really afford to go out for a meal and a takeaway is easier because of childcare etc

She also often declines invites to do things or cancels at the last minute wih some crappy excus. And then when we don’t invite her, she’ll write a passive aggressive message like ‘gee thanks for the invite’

Shes a fairweather friend and im done with her. AIBU? Ive been fed up for a while but feel like this is the last straw

I mean if I don’t want to be woken up by my phone I turn on do not disturb 🤷‍♀️ is it really that hard? I’m currently in the states and someone cold called me at 7:30 my time on Monday morning I forgot to Silence my phone that’s my fault not theirs 🙄

When you send a text or an email or even make a phone call it's an invitation to answer not a command. Your friend has only herself to blame if she feels you "imposed" yourself in some way. I wouldn't say 7.40 a.m. was ridiculous at all.

I don’t understand people saying texting at that time is unreasonable. Turn your phone on silent. Otherwise phones ping all the time (iPhones anyway). She sounds like a wet rag looking for a fight.

And to people saying they keep it on incase of an emergency you can white list some numbers so they get through straight away or if someone calls twice it comes through

It’s not that early. If she didn’t want to be woken up then perhaps she should have had her phone on silent!
Congratulations on having your offer accepted

At 7:40 she should feed her horse !

Congratulations on your new home!

I do not have DND on my phone and it does not ping all night. I don't have the wifi or data switched on though. I would be annoyed at a txt message, but as I say, no one I know would send one in the middle of the night anyway.

Usernumbers1234 on my phone (Samsung) I can choose numbers to allow through whilst my phone is on DND by putting the numbers in my favourites. That way if any family member has an emergency I'm contactable.

OP this 'friend' sounds like a non friend drama queen. You just have to decide if you need that crap in your life???

YANBU. She is being a dick. If she wants a lie in, she could have put her phone off or left it in a different room. 7:40am is not particularly early.

Top marks to the horse.

Vicky.

She's clearly not on Pinterest or Twitter then. They ping my phone all the time so I put it on silent for sleeping, like normal people do.

Wow I send texts at 5:00am and have done for years.I don't expect a response at that time,but when the recipient is ready,I.e when they switch their phone on and see my text.Never had a problem.

I keep my phone on aeroplane mode when I don't want any interruptions. I don't think it was particularly early I've had messages at 5am.

She’s not just not a friend. She’s a nasty bitch. Get shot of her. God I have my phone pinging at all times of the day & night and it doesn’t bother me. If it did I’d put it on silent.

Phones are marvellous. They have all kinds of settings to avoid you being disturbed. You can set them to only have alerts go off at certain times. You can even specify exemptions to this so you won't receive a 3am drunken WhatsApp from a friend but would receive a 2am distress call from your child.

I would personally not text usually between 11pm and 7.30am but at the end of the day it's one tiny ping (unless you have an insanely long message tone) She needs to get a grip.

Also it sounds like you don't like her like. Get better friends.

My phone has woken me up in the middle of the night pinging away.It means I have to come downstairs in the freezing cold to read it.However I'm annoyed with myself for not remembering to switch the phone off,certainly not my friend.Congratulations on the house Sale

On one hand I would say it's a bit early but I message my friends at strange times... that's what friends are for?

Judging by the other things you've listed I would say she's toxic and a pain in the arse so cut her loose.

She's left the group anyway so now you won't need to worry about inviting her anywhere and she tries to be friends with you again just say thanks but no thanks.

If you're really brave list her shortcomings and tell her she did you a favour.

It’s fine to send a txt message at 7.40am. I am guessing she gets lots of alerts from the group and yours was the last straw.

I would apologise, ‘hope she feels better etc’ and try not to take it personally. If she doesn’t want the alerts she can change them, silence her phone or even put it on do not disturb, you’ve mot done anything wrong x

She has a phone and it's her responsibility to put it on silent if she doesn't want to be disturbed. Christ, she's acting like a child. Get her kicked into touch!

Your "friend" is being ridiculous. I frequently get texts at that sort of time - sometimes I'm too busy to reply until later but it's certainly not an issue. My phone is on silent until 6.30 - anything after that is fair game. If she really wanted a lie in she should have turned her phone off.

She sounds like a complete cow!

Congratulations on the house 😀

[applause] Vicky

I send texts at all hours too. People I know or contact on a regular basis live in different time zones. I do not expect people in California to be checking their texts that I have sent at a civilised time for me.

*Disclaimer: I am not a Nigerian prince, just resident in a country with several time zones. The idea that anyone in the US or continental Europe should wait until the recipient's time zone is up and functional before sending a text is ridiculous.

I hate group chats because of the ensuing barrage of pings and most of them are notifications for a lol or an emoticon but I learned to turn off notifications and read it when I’m ready. By 7.40am I’ve been at work for 10mins so wouldn’t be bothered about someone messaging me that early (unless it was a w/e) but I probably wouldn’t message friends that early unless it was urgent - people are getting up, wrangling kids, travelling etc so could do without the message.

TeenTimesTwo
It's not the terrain that affects broadband signal in the UK vs the Netherlands. It's lack of investment in the infrastructure. If you can get good wifi in a ski resort in the Rocky Mountains (and you can) you can get it in the Yorkshire dales.

In 2014 the Netherlands had the fastest wifi in Europe, but this position was previously held by Switzerland.

Other fast countries - Japan (mountainous), South Korea (mountainous), Czech Republic (has mountains) and the US (has mountains).

The Top Ten for speed in 2014 were:

1. South Korea
2. Japan
3. Hong Kong
4. Netherlands
5. Switzerland
6. Czech Republic
7. Latvia
8. United States
9. Belgium

10. Ireland

I have the majority of groups on silences as I find all the pings annoying. I may check in a couple of times a day.

I probably would not sent that text one on one to someone unless I knew they would be up but it is fine as part of a group.