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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you’ve ever been flamed on AIBU?

299 replies

Calvinsmam · 09/12/2018 23:16

Just reading AIBU and wondering if you’ve ever been flamed for something you posted?

I once got crucified for sharing that I was tired from geting up in the night to let me cat drink from the tap. Grin It was my first time at the rodeo and I was a bit thin skinned about it.

I’ve been here years now and I couldn’t give a shit anymore.

What have you been flamed for??

OP posts:
OverTheHedgeSammy · 10/12/2018 14:08

Indigo I remember your thread! Can't remember if I posted on it though. Boy were there a whole lot of GFs on that thread.

1ndig0 · 10/12/2018 14:12

I was also once flamed, mainly by posters claiming to be police officers, when I said I would not be happy to live in a small cul-de-sac and have a woman operating as a prostitute from the house opposite and punters cars coming and going at all times if night. I was called a snob (that’s the one name I can repeat) and one “police officer” accused me of probably being racist and homophobic to boot, all based in the fact I would be uncomfortable about a prostitute working from opposite.

NannyMcfanny · 10/12/2018 14:13

I was called a paedophile for complaining about an advert that used a teenaged girl with a very short skirt, ( think Britney Spears with high socks) which had nothing to do with the product being sold.
MN said it was my problem and my dirty mind Confused
I thought Mumsnet disagreed with exploitation/sexualisation of women! Hmm

Original poster
Calvinsmam · 10/12/2018 14:17

Sorry but that peadophile thing is so funny.
I can see it happening too.

OP posts:
AmandaBuffamonteezi · 10/12/2018 14:20

Under an old name I was going through a tough time and had quite a few ongoing threads. I had posters troll hunting, one saying that I had similar problems to a friend of hers (I had changed some details to avoid being outed which I had already stated!) and she accused me of being a stalker of this other person. I also had messages off a couple of people calling me all sorts of names. I deleted my account for a while after that.

I did have quite a few lovely posters who really helped though! I have quite thick skin but I was upset by some of the comments.

A friend of mine posted and I recognised her straight away. It was about her moving in to a new house and a problem with a neighbour's son. She was so genuine when a poster jumped on her and blew things way out of proportion and she apologised sincerely for the misunderstanding in her post. The poster and a few others carried on at her and the post eventually got deleted but the mean poster claimed it as some sort of victory.

Polarbearflavour · 10/12/2018 14:25

Probably a few times. People are weird. I guess they enjoy being aggressive via the anonymity of the internet. Meh. People be cray cray.

Kismetjayn · 10/12/2018 14:27

Flamed until I posted about (probable) STBX. Then I became 'amazing' and 'inspirational' with a 'bright future' Grin

I don't disagree with the LTB brigade in this case, he is acting like an arse and I'm not putting up with it any more. The swift change of pace amuses me though.

Unicornandbows · 10/12/2018 14:29

I remember getting flamed but can't remember if it was in Aibu I posted about my then bf who was being taken to the cleaners by his ex wife and wanted help in getting him a bit more of a backbone to stand up to her. Did not go down well at all.

CardsforKittens · 10/12/2018 14:30

I remember that I've been flamed but I don't remember the details, although I think I remember some of the threads PP have mentioned! Being flamed doesn't really bother me; I don't mind people disagreeing with me, even if they're rude about it because I know I'm right.

NannyMcfanny · 10/12/2018 14:32

Calvinmam it happened and I couldn't believe it at the time. I can now...

minipie · 10/12/2018 14:38

Oh yes I have. I got incensed about the Daily Fail using threads for stories, after a particularly bad one where the OP was ill and sharing very personal stuff and they used it anyway [anger]. Anyway I started an AIBU saying mumsnet ought to be paid for or restricted to keep journos and trolls out... and then was told all the reasons why that won’t work. In many pages of detail.

To be fair I hadn’t thought about it very hard when I posted...

Topseyt · 10/12/2018 14:38

I was flamed on a thread for saying that DH and I do not date other people and have been happily married for 25 years.

The cool wife/husband brigade said that this must mean that we are in a mutually abusive relationship. They would all be totally cool with their partners actually dating other people.

Some people just like sticking their oar in. It can be quite amusing, though you do need rhino hide.

Rarfy · 10/12/2018 14:49

Oh god yes - i was whingeing about why it was so hard to donate clothes to local people in need e.g. women's shelters and everyone went through me. It was a real eye opener.

killingtime9198 · 10/12/2018 14:50

The Boswell joke!

RatRolyPoly · 10/12/2018 14:57

I'm surprosed you can go anywhere around here with that username killing Halloween Grin

JustWhatINeededNow · 10/12/2018 15:18

I have only EVER sent or received nice PMs. Who are the fuckers that send nasty ones?

I'd love for someone to own up and explain why on earth they'd do that?

badlydrawnperson · 10/12/2018 15:23

Yes I git a lot of flaming on a previous account - even got called a cunt. Of course I think it was unjustified, but who knows?

JustWhatINeededNow · 10/12/2018 15:27

Oh and the worst one I have was one of those awful ones that goes wrong from the start and people then got loads of details wrong.

It was to do with my photographer SIL doing a free photo shoot for a friend of mine with a newborn. It was during that phase when people loved photos with them sort of 'mounded' into shapes?

Anyway my friend cancelled on SIL at the last minute. I was just grumpy that she'd been let down for some reason I posted in AIBU. No idea why.

So...

Basically I was a massive bellend who didn't deserve friends.

She was likely knackered from bf - nope formula fed
Why couldn't I go and see friend with chocolate and flowers - my own children had chicken pox. I'd posted a card and gifts.
Why couldn't they reschedule - the baby would actually then be 'too old' for this kind of shoot
Who the fuck would want this kind of free photo anyway - well her obvs Confused
Presumably my sister was a trained physio.... babies shouldn't be in this position - no my SIL wasn't a physio. Fucking idiots.

It just went on... and on.... and on... it was bizarre.

I think I was actually being unreasonable. SIL wasn't that phased. I was just embarrassed that it was my 'name' that went to it

Original poster
Calvinsmam · 10/12/2018 15:27

I don’t think I’ve ever sent a pm.

OP posts:
M3lon · 10/12/2018 15:30

I got flamed for saying the regulations on breast milk donation were stupid and out of date.

I also got flamed for saying I thought it wasn't right for someone to shut me down while I was responding to a question about my breast feeding experience on the basis that even talking about it was offensive to people who don't breast feed.

I eventually learned not to post anything ever about breast feeding.

I've been through a similar process of learning not to post on the transgender issue.

GallicosCats · 10/12/2018 15:51

Blimey, who hasn't been flamed on AIBU? It's a rite of passage on here, like grazing your knee when you're a kid, or falling off your bike.

I remember starting a rather stupid hairdresser one when I was in the tired, intolerant, snappy phase of looking after young DCs. I wasn't rude to the 12 16 year old amateurishly snipping into my 4-year-old's curls but when she asked how much I wanted off, I couldn't help thinking 'Stretched out length or curly length?' and my brain wouldn't function. When I posted about this I was roundly denounced. How was the poor hairdresser meant to read minds etc. Grin Looking back, it seems ridiculous.Seems, madam? Nay, it is

I accidentally outed someone once. Not just any old someone either, a former regular (don't see her around much these days, unless she's namechanged) with a spectacularly troublesome DC, controversial views and a notoriously thin skin. I didn't actually recognise her, just noted some similarities in the family situation; the really stupid thing was I'd hidden her threads. Blush I kept well out of dramatic family situations after that.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 10/12/2018 15:54

One about when I lived in a council flat and they were leaving me without a working toilet for 4 weeks. At 37 weeks pregnant, with 3 other children, one with a disability, surely a toilet is a necessity? But I was flamed because apparently I should be glad the council " housed" me. Erm, no, my husband paid full rent..

WhokilledO2 · 10/12/2018 16:02

Under a different name. I was absolutely hammered. Can't even remember why now but I know that a few posts down i acknowledged maybe it wasn't the best idea and acknowledged part of it was I was in an awful mood and another billion pages of posts telling me iwbu still followed.

KismetHardie · 10/12/2018 16:03

I complained that a close relative someone hadn't acknowledged my pregnancy. I was new, and didn't realise that's blood in the water as far as AIBU is concerned Grin had to stay though as I'm a new mum and need the (other) advice/chat

OrangeJellySpread · 10/12/2018 16:15

Isn't it part of the fun? I LOVE getting flamed, then I just leave the thread, live my life and leave them fuming Grin