Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you’ve ever been flamed on AIBU?

299 replies

Calvinsmam · 09/12/2018 23:16

Just reading AIBU and wondering if you’ve ever been flamed for something you posted?

I once got crucified for sharing that I was tired from geting up in the night to let me cat drink from the tap. Grin It was my first time at the rodeo and I was a bit thin skinned about it.

I’ve been here years now and I couldn’t give a shit anymore.

What have you been flamed for??

OP posts:
A580Hojas · 10/12/2018 12:30

Yes, I've been flamed for having an argument with my mil.

Which is ironic really as I am one of Mumsnet's great champions of mils and have got along fine with mine for 25 years. It's just on this occasion she was being entirely U and I just wanted to vent.

I also got flamed for saying I'd gone right off Eddie Izzard a while before everyone else caught on. Now most people would agree with me on that.

khaleesi71 · 10/12/2018 12:47

I was flamed once for having the gall to be pissed off at my au pair. It did help me see a different perspective but I had to wade through the ridiculous over the top vitriol from people who clearly don't get out much. I was upset at the time but some people just get a kick out of being judgemental GF. I ignore such fuckwittery nowadays.

MrsBobDylan · 10/12/2018 12:47

I got flamed for getting a crossbreed puppy.

I haven't bothered posting on the Doghouse since.

Pinkyyy · 10/12/2018 12:59

Thus thread is like some sort of AA for people who've been flamedGrin

My name is Pinkyyy and I got flamed for saying people smoke weed in Amsterdam

Original poster
Calvinsmam · 10/12/2018 13:08

My name is Calvinsmam and I got flamed for saying it was disgusting for my neighbour to use my our shared drain as a rubbish bin.

OP posts:
OverTheHedgeSammy · 10/12/2018 13:13

My name is Sammy and I got flamed for saying I bought two kittens.

MsTSwift · 10/12/2018 13:16

Years ago I posted about my hideous neighbors who made our and all the other neighbors lives a misery - sample behaviour fights in street, drug dealing, gangsta rap played loudly, Staffordshire dog not looked after properly which would leap into our garden terrify me and pfb who was a tiny baby at the time and shat on our lawn. But I was the one at fault apparently as the neighbors might have a hard life Grin

Ahardmanisgoodtofind · 10/12/2018 13:24

I only posted in aibu once i think, most threads I start never get responses and I got a bit of a flaming but one poster popped up and put everyone in their place. I was being unreasonable, but that one poster changed the whole threads direction.

TimeForDinnerDinnerDinner · 10/12/2018 13:28

I've been flamed a few times. Don't care. Water off a duck's back.

I filter out the pathetic keyboard-warrior type, insult throwing and just listen to the well-meaning, helpful Mumsnetters - that's most of you lovely people - even if the helpful ones are saying IABU. Anyone being constructive is well worth listening to, even if they don't agree with you.

The people who readily sling insults on here are doing so for their own entertainment. As far as I'm concerned, they are showing themselves up to be rather bored, aimless, pathetic and empty. So there!

RatRolyPoly · 10/12/2018 13:30

I got totally nailed by an OP on AIBU for suggesting maybe her dh wasn't a controlling arse who was trying to make her feel guilty for going out by insisting on looking after his own baby rather than hiring a babysitter.

I was new-ish to MN and didn't realise the husband is always an abusive arse. (Joke. Sort of.)

CigarsofthePharoahs · 10/12/2018 13:31

Did get a bit of a pasting once.
My opinion was that if somewhere has a designated parent and baby room, it should be for that and not obviously contagious people to have a nap in.
Apparently I was precious and "not a good advert" for the place in question.
I found it funny in the end.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 10/12/2018 13:33

So many times but I think you expect it. I'll still post there because the odd comment is really useful but things I've learnt from AIBU are:

  • My MIL is actually an equal parent to me and DH
  • I have to sit and wait in my car for people standing in the way to finish their conversation
  • That being a working mum means I care less about my children

and the list goes on. AIBU is another world! Unless your a SAHP who regularly invites your inlaws for tea then you're wrong and they will tell you!

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 10/12/2018 13:35

I got flamed for saying I was thinking about trying for a baby, given my circumstances I was being selfish and what life could I give a baby? Bearing in mind I am already a mother (to an 18yo), have been married for 17 years, own a house, have a responsible job, etc etc. My crime is having a DH who would be 60 when any potential baby would be born.

It was so unlikely to happen anyway given I am more or less infertile, so trying would have been more about if something happened it wouldn't be a bad thing, than anything else. I felt really shit though for ages afterwards.

Frosty66611 · 10/12/2018 13:38

I got flamed big time for saying people who can’t afford a child shouldn’t actively be trying for one. It did not go down well!

Snowwontbelong · 10/12/2018 13:39

I posted for advice regarding ds's living mainly with exh, flamed for moving so far, 30 miles, why would ds's want to travel? Terrible dm moving away, having more dc, selfish, etc.
Came off mn for a good while.
Then ds's moved here ft and now nc with exh !!. Seems I ain't so bad after all!!.

DorisTroy · 10/12/2018 13:51

I once posted on AIBU about a bloke who was seeking advice on how to dodge child maintenance. I was judgy- very judgy in fact.
I just put the concise details (as I thought) rather than the long story. I was accused of drip feeding, fair ennuffski, and told off for being In fact one poster actually crowed that she had handed me my arse on a plate.
So from my thread it would seem better not to support your children than judge someone who refused to pay child support.
I can’t help but judge. Is it so very wrong?

GivingBloodFeelingGreat · 10/12/2018 13:52

@Calvinsmam

Ahh that’s not fair! This place has helped some women through their darkest times

You're right. I'm sorry. But some of the nasty comments on Mumsnet whether it's AIBU, Chat or anywhere else make me so angry.

Original poster
Calvinsmam · 10/12/2018 13:54

than judge someone who refused to pay child support.

Must have been a very strange wind blowing that day because AIBU normally has no time for people not paying hold support.

Though the only judging allowed is the judging of the ops

OP posts:
cheesemongery · 10/12/2018 13:55

I also got flamed for saying I'd gone right off Eddie Izzard a while before everyone else caught on. Now most people would agree with me on that.

Ooh what's wrong with Eddie Izzard? What haven't I caught on to? (Again! Grin )

GivingBloodFeelingGreat · 10/12/2018 13:55

@Frosty66611

I wouldn't have flamed you. Because I agree Smile

stevie69 · 10/12/2018 13:56

For having a liking for guys half my age — even though they are (a) adults, (b) single and (c) perfectly capable of making their own decisions.

The words 'creepy' and predatory' spring to mind Grin

It didn't change my outlook Blush

Original poster
Calvinsmam · 10/12/2018 13:58

You're right. I'm sorry.

No need to be sorry, there are some meanies Grin

I kind of feel like it’s one of my relatives where I’m allowed to say what I like but I get really defensive if anyone else says anything.
So I was the one being unfair really.

OP posts:
1ndig0 · 10/12/2018 14:01

Yes I’ve been flamed loads of times. The most memorable was when I was annoyed following an incident when DH and I had gone out for dinner and a couple we knew from the school came in and said something along the lines of, “Well seeing as we’re all here now, shall we join you.” Si this was bad enough, but then the DH ordered, among other things, a steak which cost £90! And then he let DH pay the bill. Shock

First I was accused of being a troll because people said there is no such thing as a £90 steak. Well I wouldn’t have believed it either (plus I’m vegetarian), but it was a Japanese restaurant and that’s what this man ordered.

Then I was flamed for “letting the men argue over the bill”. Why didn’t I pay myself? I explained to no avail that it made no difference whether DH paid or me because it’s the same account! But many people thought this was outrageous.

Then there was a whole debate about bill splitting - why didn’t we just tell them to pay for themsrlves etc? I explained that we’re mirs prone to taking it in turns with friends when it comes to paying in restaurants, but people seemed livid about this.

Then the anti- London / SAHM / Uber taxi people got involved

Then MN got I touch with me to ask if I was “posting with the best intentions.” I had to justify my life to MNHQ. Confused I really started to wonder if I was mad.

Original poster
Calvinsmam · 10/12/2018 14:04

I remember that thread 1indigo

Who would get a £90 steaks jdnthen let someone else foot the bill? Who would get a £90 steak anyway.

OP posts:
CryptoFascist · 10/12/2018 14:07

Been picked out/on a few times for my posts, never had my arse handed to me on aibu luckily but you're right, I've seen OP's being completely hammered and the next week a very similar OP will have a contradictory experience, very odd!