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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just stop doing Christmas after this year?

159 replies

Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 14:31

I’m not religious. I don’t believe in god. I hate Christmas. I hate the tat in the shops, the music, the great big giving of crap no one needs, the food and drink (t1 diabetic so I can never even eat a Christmas lunch, much less a mince pie or a glass of wine), the lights, the waste of money for one day, the trees, having to see relatives I don’t really like, all of it really.

Imagine the happiness of just Not Doing It. Any of it. No more worrying about it, sending cards, buying shit, having to pretend to enjoy it. It’s just a massive hassle and the clutter and all the boxes and packaging afterwards drives me mad.

That’s it, I am done. The only issue I have is dh. He is very vaguely religious - believes in god in a half arsed way - but he and his family will never stop doing Christmas. How do I reconcile this alongside just stopping it? Usually I do all the gifts, the buying, the wrapping, filling the stockings, the decorating, the whole lot.

OP posts:
Fatted · 09/12/2018 14:34

You say that DH won't stop doing Christmas but by the sounds of it, it's not really him doing it all anyway. Is that right?!

If I were in that position of being the one doing it all, then yes I would jib it all off!

Original poster
Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 14:34

Oh and I usually do all the cooking - which I then can’t eat so just have to sit and have nothing - and also elf on the bastard shelf which I wish I’d never started.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 09/12/2018 14:34

Just let your DH get on with it.

I'm not religious at all and yet Christmas is my very favourite time of year. I love everything to do with it.

But if you don't, then just tell your DH and his family to leave you out.

Twotome · 09/12/2018 14:35

YABU

WorraLiberty · 09/12/2018 14:36

Why do you do all the cooking etc?

That makes no sense unless your DH isn't able bodied?

usernamenamename · 09/12/2018 14:36

Yanbu!

Original poster
Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 14:37

I’m a sahm and he works long hours so it’s all my job.

OP posts:
FissionChips · 09/12/2018 14:37

Just let him get on with it, I don’t really see the issue?

InDubiousBattle · 09/12/2018 14:38

Do you have young dc op? If you hate doing it all then stop, but that doesn't have to mean no Christmas, just one where everyone pulls their weight so you can actually enjoy aspects of it.

FissionChips · 09/12/2018 14:38

Well, if you have young children then I’d buy them some gifts and just let them eat crap on Xmas. I wouldn’t be doing Christmas for anyone else though.

InDubiousBattle · 09/12/2018 14:41

I'm a SAHM too, I do the overwhelming majority of the housework etc but dp knows that if he wants his family to have gifts then he needs to buy them, if he wants colleagues to have cards then he needs to write them etc. We ordered the kids gifts on line and he picked them up and is hiding them at his office.

Original poster
Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 14:42

Youngish although my oldest doesn’t believe in santa now. My younger one does at the moment so I guess she might wonder why there’s no presents. But not everyone celebrates christmas do they? Maybe I’d just tell her the truth re santa.

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 09/12/2018 14:42

I'm very relieved that we haven't started this elf thing, but unless your dh actually works away I don't see why he can't do it.

Original poster
Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 14:43

I get my own present and dh wraps it.

See why it all seems a bit pointless... I may as well just buy it and have it.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 09/12/2018 14:43

I’m a sahm and he works long hours so it’s all my job.

No it's not but you both seem to have made it your job.

I think you both need to sit down and plan Christmas fairly, unless you really really do hate it.

I suspect you'd like it if you hadn't taken everything on yourself.

flapjackfairy · 09/12/2018 14:44

Well surely you eat something ? You can adapt the food to accommodate your diabetes can't you ? And if you have an elf then you have kids I assume ?? What about their Christmas. Are they not having one ?
Can't you come up with a plan that accommodates elements of Christmas but avoids all the hassle ?

TooManyPaws · 09/12/2018 14:45

Why on earth can't you eat a meal or drink wine? I've been to friends many times where the husband is a T1 diabetic from childhood and he most certainly eats and drinks with the rest of us as he manages his diabetes.

Original poster
Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 14:45

My kids are on at me every second of the day as it is.

OP posts:
Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 09/12/2018 14:47

Why can't you eat?

InDubiousBattle · 09/12/2018 14:47

Why do you buy your own gift?

Redgreencoverplant · 09/12/2018 14:49

Your problem isn't Christmas it is a DH who doesn't pull his weight and from the sound of it you could do something with regards the diabetic management to enable you to enjoy the food in moderation.

Original poster
Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 14:50

Dh just tells me to get something and give it to him to wrap so I do. Else I wouldn’t have anything at all.

I can’t eat anything because my diabetes is brittle and unmanageable. The only thing that helps is massively reducing my food intake to virtually nothing. It’s not really a good match with Christmas, the season of overindulgence. I could eat but feel ill. So it’s either hungry or ill.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 14:51

I guess the kids could go with dh to his family and have lunch and a small Christmas. I wouldn’t have to go.

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 09/12/2018 14:51

I don't think I would survive a British winter without the Christmas prep, making and choosing gifts, food, decorations and all the fairy lights. I am not religious, try not to eat much more than usual but still love the festive week.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 09/12/2018 14:54

This sounds a lot more than not liking Christmas?
You'd seriously stay at home and have your kids elsewhere?