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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just stop doing Christmas after this year?

159 replies

Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 14:31

I’m not religious. I don’t believe in god. I hate Christmas. I hate the tat in the shops, the music, the great big giving of crap no one needs, the food and drink (t1 diabetic so I can never even eat a Christmas lunch, much less a mince pie or a glass of wine), the lights, the waste of money for one day, the trees, having to see relatives I don’t really like, all of it really.

Imagine the happiness of just Not Doing It. Any of it. No more worrying about it, sending cards, buying shit, having to pretend to enjoy it. It’s just a massive hassle and the clutter and all the boxes and packaging afterwards drives me mad.

That’s it, I am done. The only issue I have is dh. He is very vaguely religious - believes in god in a half arsed way - but he and his family will never stop doing Christmas. How do I reconcile this alongside just stopping it? Usually I do all the gifts, the buying, the wrapping, filling the stockings, the decorating, the whole lot.

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 09/12/2018 15:59

Grinch 😐

Are you always so miserable about things?

Christmas can be a thought time but you can make it fun. There’s bits I like and bits I don’t like, you don’t have to eat lots of shit food, there’s lots of good sugar free food available, cheese, meat, veg, roast potatoes....?

I buy my own gifts as I don’t have a partner, at least I don’t get things I don’t need.

I love the lights and decorations, it’s not just for one day, it’s for a couple weeks. Christmas songs are fun, Christmas activities are fun and seeing my kids excited is worth everything.

boolala12 · 09/12/2018 16:00

Why do you only have basal Insulin?

Marble2017 · 09/12/2018 16:00

cheekysquirral Diabetes is a horrible condition and unless you deal with it directly you have no clue! The poster saying she had family members who were diabetic sorry but your opinion doesn't count. OP you know what works with regard to you insulin ratios....could you talk to your nurse?

Marble2017 · 09/12/2018 16:02

lovemusic roast potatoes have carbs in which turns into glucose which she would need to cover with insulin.

Bluesmartiesarebest · 09/12/2018 16:04

Op, badly managed diabetes can make you feel very depressed. Have you ever seen a dietician that specialises in managing diabetes? I think you would feel so much better about everything if you sorted out your illness and had a better diet.

Original poster
Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 16:06

Roast potatoes are really carb heavy.

If I just live off the basal insulin then my sugars remain stable.
If I eat then they are all over the place. Too high or too low. I can’t judge how much insulin to take because the variation in what I need is so great. It is much much easier not to take any and then run at a reasonable level (5-10mmol).

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 09/12/2018 16:07

I feel for the OP who sounds really unhappy and is getting a rough time from some posters on here.

AspergersMum · 09/12/2018 16:07

I don't do Christmas (much) either - we are atheists. DH's parents are Christian so he takes the kids to them for Christmas Day so they get lunch and presents, perfect.

WilburforceRaven · 09/12/2018 16:09

I think you're hangry. You simply must go back to the doctor or hospital and get your diabetes sorted. You are malnourished. It's no way to live.

He needs to do his share of the cooking and cleaning.

yoyo1234 · 09/12/2018 16:09

I do think some people work crazy hours and that in somecases the sahp does need to do a lot of the seasonal preparation

WilburforceRaven · 09/12/2018 16:10

You are starving yourself, Cheeky and it's making you depressed and miserable.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 09/12/2018 16:15

Sooty, you are not alone in feeling bad for the OP, but she has posted here before about either starving herself or not taking insulin.
She received lots of advice on previous threads which she ignores.
She is obviously very unhappy/unwell but she needs more help than a forum such as this and perhaps needs to be jolted into it a bit?

ilovesooty · 09/12/2018 16:20

I hadn't come across her before but I suspect that in common with most recovery initiatives it will only happen when she's ready.
Her husband sounds like an unsupportive shit though.

noodlenosefraggle · 09/12/2018 16:20

That sounds ridiculous for a Type 1 diabetic. Not taking insulin can be fatal. I cant believe your diabetic team has advised you to do this.

GrabEmByThePatriarchy · 09/12/2018 16:24

Why can’t you have a Christmas dinner? I understand why you can’t stuff your face with pies and sweets etc but a lunch? What do you usually eat? Is is radically different from that?

If OP is the one I'm thinking of klobuchar, what she usually eats is half a piece of bread and some strawberries each day, she's gone from something like 25 to 19 BMI in a really short period, and she's full of reasons why she can't possibly change her diet. This is why people are being a bit arsey with her: because the diabulimia is what needs tackling first, and it gets fucking wearing after a while.

If that's not you OP then my apologies.

pisspawpatrol · 09/12/2018 16:24

Diabetes aside (that really sucks for you that you can't eat Christmas dinner)

If your husband REALLY wanted to do any of it, he would find time to do it. As it is, you're conveniently doing it all for him. Stop doing it and if he really wants to he will.

Original poster
Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 16:25

Yes not taking insulin when needed can be fatal...just like taking too much can be.
What I’m saying is that I can take the basal insulin and run between 5-10mmol but I’m not taking bolus insulin because I’m not eating. It’s not the same as not taking insulin and running high and being in dka - yes that can be fatal.

OP posts:
AmericanEskimoDoge · 09/12/2018 16:25

I wouldn't stop Christmas altogether, if I had young children. If it's bothering you that much, maybe you'll have to talk to your husband and pass off some of the duties onto him-- or come up with a new plan/set of traditions that reduces some of the workload (maybe whatever you find to be the worst parts of it).

However, I also agree with those who suggest seeking a (better) doctor or other medical professional to help you manage your diabetes better. That sounds miserable...

Original poster
Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 16:26

I’m going back to these dsn in the new year with a log of absolutely everything I’m eating and the doses alongside so they have the whole picture.
The team I’m with haven’t been much help so far. Pretty much I’m on my own.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 09/12/2018 16:28

Have no idea why you’re getting such a hard time from some posters.

You sound dispirited and a bit depressed, and overloaded. It’s like you’re supposed to be a Christmas-making machine and still be rosy-cheeked with enthusiasm when your H does fuck all and doesn’t even buy you a gift.

YANBU. Sounds tough. I don’t think the issue is really Christmas though is it.

MIdgebabe · 09/12/2018 16:31

Dh uses a “children” insulin pen which delivers half units of insulin which is really useful to control sugar levels if you easily get hypos

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 09/12/2018 16:34

Well if you carry on as you are with your diabetes you won’t have to worry about whether or not to celebrate Christmas.
Your eyes, kidneys ,circulation etc will give up.
And once they have how to celebrate Christmas will be beyond academic

SugarPlumLairy · 09/12/2018 16:35

OP, it sounds quite grim from your perspective and I can see why that makes it hard to join in.

We are NOT religious, but we celebrate at Yule and again on Xmas day.

Yule is an easy going family affair, we open DD’s presents, and potter about, put food out for the wildlife, think about how nice it is that each day will be getting a little longer as the sun “comes back”. Then on Xmas day we cook a nice turkey and trimmings but there is no madness of opening presents as we did them on Yule (21st Dec) so my DD, who is autistic, is not overwhelmed.

We don’t really bother with presents for adults as mostly we all get what we want/need throughout the year, so why spend for the sake of it at Christmas?

Friends come round for Xmas lunch, again not religious people and we enjoy each other’s company, play some games and relax.

Every culture celebrates a mid winter feast, it doesn’t have to be religious. Your children would love to have memories with you. Perhaps make your own new winter festival traditions that YOU enjoy?

What would YOU like, that doesn’t involve cancelling fun for your children?

WilburforceRaven · 09/12/2018 16:36

If I were your husband I'd be carting you to a hospital because you are starving yourself. You sound very ill.

AbsentmindedWoman · 09/12/2018 16:36

This is about your diabetes burnout/ diabetes depression and your disordered relationship with food. This convoluted thread (which is not the first) is not about Christmas at all; it's a cry for help and there is nothing wrong with needing help.

You need support and kindness. Do you attend a diabetes team at a hospital, or do you rely on a gp? Because the time has come for professional intervention.

You DESERVE help. Unfortunately, help might be hard to find and you might have to be quite determined to find any - which is why I'm trying to ram it home that it's valid and reasonable and appropriate to push for help.

You are worth help, OP, please take a step towards getting some support.