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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just stop doing Christmas after this year?

159 replies

Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 14:31

I’m not religious. I don’t believe in god. I hate Christmas. I hate the tat in the shops, the music, the great big giving of crap no one needs, the food and drink (t1 diabetic so I can never even eat a Christmas lunch, much less a mince pie or a glass of wine), the lights, the waste of money for one day, the trees, having to see relatives I don’t really like, all of it really.

Imagine the happiness of just Not Doing It. Any of it. No more worrying about it, sending cards, buying shit, having to pretend to enjoy it. It’s just a massive hassle and the clutter and all the boxes and packaging afterwards drives me mad.

That’s it, I am done. The only issue I have is dh. He is very vaguely religious - believes in god in a half arsed way - but he and his family will never stop doing Christmas. How do I reconcile this alongside just stopping it? Usually I do all the gifts, the buying, the wrapping, filling the stockings, the decorating, the whole lot.

OP posts:
WilburforceRaven · 09/12/2018 19:57

She has a serious eating disorder and is not addressing it. That's the problem.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 09/12/2018 20:04

I’ve met people who have messed with their diabetes as the op is doing
They are sadly by the time I meet them often virtually blind often have a serious renal impairment and may have had limbs amputated
Sadly time is not on the op’s side.

Original poster
Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 20:08

My a1c is excellent so I’m not at high risk for the complications mentioned above. The complications are caused by high blood sugars.
The reason my a1c is excellent is because I don’t eat much. That’s just how it is. I can either be hungry or ill.

I appreciate my children want to do Christmas - but for what? The stuff? Isn’t that the reason most kids like Christmas? Can’t I just buy them some stuff and take them out for a day instead (not on Christmas Day when everything is closed obviously).
All this excess and fuss for one day. It starts in September now. It’s one day.

OP posts:
GreenHillOpposite · 09/12/2018 20:21

It sounds to me that you've made up your mind. How are you going to go about it?

WilburforceRaven · 09/12/2018 20:26

The reason my a1c is excellent is because I don’t eat much. That’s just how it is. I can either be hungry or ill.

You are eating about 400 calories a day. That WILL make you very, very ill. In fact, it will kill you. But you're in denial because you have an eating disorder and honestly belong in a hospital. You won't have to worry about next Christmas at the rate you are going. You are angry, depressed and defensive because your mind is truly ill. It's very sad to see.

SnuggyBuggy · 09/12/2018 20:27

I'm no doctor but wouldn't you gradually starve doing that?

christmaschristmaschristmas · 09/12/2018 20:31

Not fair if you have children IMO.

arranbubonicplague · 09/12/2018 20:31

Commiserations for the brittle Diabetes I.

Give up the Xmas faff - it's intensely liberating and the reduction in overall stress might be tremendously helpful for you.

As you say, your DH and DC can go elsewhere. If any of them feel so strongly about it, they can do it but there's no reason for you to be involved.

Original poster
Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 20:32

Well this Christmas is still happening as plans have been made but I think next Christmas I will scale right right back and then see how I feel about it. Just less stuff and less rushing about, much much much less. Less fuss really.

OP posts:
Desmondo2016 · 09/12/2018 20:36

Hopefully by next Christmas your mental health will be on the mend and you won't be so depressed and unreasonably miserable about Christmas.

DwayneDibbly · 09/12/2018 20:48

Fully appreciate there are many complicated issues at play here, but Christmas doesn't have to be a nightmare of excess. You just have to have a scaled down, calmer version, which is not difficult to do.

KTheGrey · 09/12/2018 20:50

Please demand a specialist in diabetes and kick up a fuss until they find you some proper help. Diabetes is such a draining condition; you need to put your own oxygen mask on first (metaphorically).

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 09/12/2018 21:02

Whatever your issues Christmas is just stupid here. Everywhere is rammed from mid November onward with Christmas rubbish.

Go away somewhere else. I recommend Barcelona. They have Christmas lights up but zero panic shopping, people are just chilling, loads of delicious food in shops gather than endless over packaged shit.
See what normal is ( not Christmas in the UK).

Knittink · 09/12/2018 21:14

It's not an all or nothing thing. You don't have to buy into the whole tat-fest in order to celebrate Christmas with your children. It's not their fault you have diabetes.

jgjgjgjgjg · 09/12/2018 21:22

If you are only eating 400 calories a day you will be very seriously ill by next Christmas as you will be in calorie deficit by at least 5 stone and likely more than that

Stillwishihadabs · 09/12/2018 21:23

It seems to me that there are 2 issues here: Christmas and your food (or lack of) and insulin intake. I am sure Xmas is a difficult time for diabetics, but most don't feel the need to cancel the whole thing. Sadly with your diabetes I suspect you just need to test much, much more frequently (eg:7 -8 times a day) until it is better controlled as others have said just not eating really isn't a solution.

Original poster
Cheekysquirrel · 09/12/2018 21:26

I have a CGM and I test very frequently.
It doesn’t help with the variability of my blood sugars.

OP posts:
nolongersurprised · 09/12/2018 21:29

“I think you're hangry. You simply must go back to the doctor or hospital and get your diabetes sorted. You are malnourished. It's no way to live”.

It’s not the diabetes through, is it? To me, it appears that the OP has disordered eating and is using the diabetes as an excuse. Which is dangerous because I’d she continues omitting insulin and only eating a few strawberries a day then she’ll die.

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 09/12/2018 21:31

I'm with you OP.

Write New Year's cards and twll everyone you've donated to a charity on their behalf.

Stillwishihadabs · 09/12/2018 21:33

Yes please, please get some medical advice (not on here). You cannot continue to eat c400 calories a day.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 09/12/2018 21:34

Your poor kids.

90mammasophie · 09/12/2018 21:36

Ah I feel you.
I think if it doesn't make you happy don't do it.
Go away on holiday over Xmas. Perfect excuse not to do cards / pressies / meal. Growing up my parents would book a 2 week holiday over the festive period every few years, to give them a break / way out of doing all the Xmas stuff for the extended family which they usually ended up hosting (and hating).

jgjgjgjgjg · 09/12/2018 21:41

In another thread the possibility of diabulimia was raised. Have you sought any help since then OP or just continued to eat a few strawberries a day?

Babygrey7 · 09/12/2018 21:41

You don't have a Christmas problem, you have a DH problem Wink

But really, it sounds like you get a rough deal on Christmas, why be a doormat?

I only cook X-mas dinner for my inlaws once every 3 years. I cook how and what I like. I never did elf on the shelf

DH buys presents for his side

I don't bother with cards, church.

After lunch I do exactly what I like (drink Baileys and watch Love Actually)

Seriously, just change your Christmas!

Some years we go on hols, that is also an option and very nice.

Stop martyring yourself over something you don't care about Grin

TellerTuesday4EVA · 09/12/2018 21:45

Are you the poster who just consumes raspberries during a day?? If so I'm disappointed to see you haven't been to see your diabetic nurse as was suggested to you numerous times on your other post.