To just stop doing Christmas after this year?

[Cheekysquirrel]

I’m not religious. I don’t believe in god. I hate Christmas. I hate the tat in the shops, the music, the great big giving of crap no one needs, the food and drink (t1 diabetic so I can never even eat a Christmas lunch, much less a mince pie or a glass of wine), the lights, the waste of money for one day, the trees, having to see relatives I don’t really like, all of it really.

Imagine the happiness of just Not Doing It. Any of it. No more worrying about it, sending cards, buying shit, having to pretend to enjoy it. It’s just a massive hassle and the clutter and all the boxes and packaging afterwards drives me mad.

That’s it, I am done. The only issue I have is dh. He is very vaguely religious - believes in god in a half arsed way - but he and his family will never stop doing Christmas. How do I reconcile this alongside just stopping it? Usually I do all the gifts, the buying, the wrapping, filling the stockings, the decorating, the whole lot.

To be honest OP your issues lie so beyond doing or not doing Christmas. You're the poster who eats a handful of strawberries and a slice of toast a day, aren't you? I hope one day you'll get offered support that you feel you can accept.

Just calm it all down - no more than 4 presents for children and DP (something they want, need, to read and to wear), one special meal and a tree but no other decorations.

OP: Christmas is not the problem. You need help with your mental health and your eating disorder and until you get it, you will remain angry, miserable and get progressively more unwell.

OP is getting a hard time because she has a serious eating disorder and will neither acknowledge it nor take any steps to get help. She just keeps posting angry, self-pitying threads and rejecting any advice she gets.

Hi Cheekysquirrel
Tbh you sound depressed and this is probably linked to your T1D and eating more than anything else. My DD15 is T1D and brittle with it and our lives have been made a lot easier with a Libre Sensor. It's been an invaluable tool for tracking her blood sugars and identifying what are her triggers for highs and lows and I've managed to get her HbA1c down from 8.9 to 7.3 in 6 months. It's not perfect as it does cause DD mild discomfort and sometimes the bloody chip reader gets glitchy but my understanding has improved where I was tearing my hair out before.

How are your local services for T1D's? If it's good then it may be best to start with an in depth assessment with a T1D consultant at your local hospital, a referral to your hospital diabetic dietician and a referral to a psychologist who has experience of counselling diabetics. My DD has developed an eating disorder which has had fairly intensive psychological treatment over the last 2 years and the counselling she's had has helped but most importantly they are treating her resentment at being diabetic.
If your local services are rubbish then start badgering them for better treatment. Every health authority should be offering Libre sensors for those who would benefit such as people with brittle diabetes.

I really, really feel for you. Type 1 diabetes is hard (and so painful) and people don't often understand it. Part of DD's depression and MH issues stems from knowing that diabetes is her life and it is not curable - I said to her psychologist that the life long slog is the hardest aspect and that if she had developed cancer instead then at least she would have had a chance of being cured which is horrible ( I apologise to parents of children with cancer) but we've lived with this for 8 years and it does consume every aspect of our lives. My DD is the bravest person that I know and some days it is too much for her and she can't face any more pain and feeling ill so it's my job to hold her up so I do understand how you feel Cheekysquirrel.

Please start insisting that you receive proper diabetic care from your GP and your health authority for your physical & psychological wellbeing . This seems to colouring your whole life and I feel so sad for you and your family.

Might be bit off the topic, but have you tried to get your doctor to give you an insulin pump? My family member had it and it CHANGED their life! And ours tbh. He was always saying everyone should have one of these.

Starving yourself is not the answer OP.

Have you spoken to the diabetes team about an insulin pump and Continuous glucose monitoring?

Which came first the eating disorder or the unstable diabetes?

Ultimately only you can decide when and if you want to take control of your diabetes rather than it controlling your life.

At a guess, I'd say not eating is also fatal! I agree you sound very ill. And probably suffering from an eating disorder.

OP is getting a hard time because she has a serious eating disorder and will neither acknowledge it nor take any steps to get help. She just keeps posting angry, self-pitying threads and rejecting any advice she gets.

^This

You're not the poster who was living on a diet of a handful of strawberries and piece of toast, are you?

To all those giving the op a hard time she is however making progress. She has recognised something is wrong and so,etching needs to change. If you think being diagnosed with an eating disorder/disordered eating patterns/medically induced anorexia is as simple as someone saying you don’t eat enough then you are woefully mistaken. I’ve met anorexics living on 2 peanuts a day who swear blind that it is plenty for them.

Op it’s good your keeping a food diary, would you be able to see the gp before Christmas. Maybe book a double slot and talk to them about your diabetes and current emotional state.

OP have you tried the pods that link to your phone for a continuous read out? Dexcom? Or similar? Worth investigating

I’m guessing that as posters increasingly attempt to address the OP’s dangerous and disordered eating, she will disappear off the thread again.

My ex SIL struggled with her T1D, she could not control her eating habits v medication. A few years after her divorce I bumped into her in the hospice she was there for respite day care. Two years later she died in her late 40`s. Even though she had two lovely daughters to live for she just could not get a handle on this awful disease.

I remember the previous posts about existing on toast and strawberries, and poor continuity of care for the diabetes.

OP, your diabetes needs care, but you have slipped into an eating disorder and that must be dealt with professionally too. Mismanaged diabetes is dangerous, but you can not exist forever on toast and strawberries. It will harm you as much as diabetes will.

You have no energy to deal with Christmas because you are starving and malnourished.

Why can you not eat a roast dinner? Both my children are type 1 diabetics and roast dinners are one of the more easier meals to manage as it's really only the roast potatoes that make them higher! They also have chocolate for breakfast on Christmas Day so not to be left out and we just balance it out with more insulin! I wouldn't write it off completely!

I think if you have children and DH celebrates than YABU to stop altogether but YANBU to kick DH butt into gear and get him to take on half the responsibility (at least) of preparing and not to have to host and do it all yourself! Working full time is not an excuse to luck out of the prep work he just sounds lazy! My DH works full time and we will go xmas shopping on his days off, we wrap the presents together in an evening and he is just as involved as me! Not just at xmas but everyday things because we are a team! Most families I know are the same and we go to DH mums for dinner and FIL and BIL's all help to cook together and we all make the table and clean etc because that wouldn't be fair on MIL to take it all on alone! That would be stressful for anyone and no wonder you are fed up and not enjoying it!!

Sorry just read more replies. 15g of carbs a day is ridiculous and you can't survive on that!! That's my 7 year old DS snack (one of 3 snacks he has a day!!) you will also make yourself very ill just having basal and no bolus insulin! Your body needs insulin do you not get keytones?

My mum is a very brittle diabetic - she still eats, but half her problem is she doesn't regularly test, speak to her diabetic team and adjust her ratios - my boys are adjusted weekly sometimes. I think you should be speaking to your diabetic team, meeting with the dietician and also the psychologist because it sounds like you are at your limit, struggling and going into depression which is quite a common thing with diabetics. So much has changed and there is also lots of new technology to help (my son has a freestyle libre which has been life changing for my Mum along with a pump set up!)

I was ready to say YANBU, but then surprised to see you have children that aren't adults. I think it's quite sad you don't enjoy Christmas even for them? My suggestion was going to be start a new tradition of going on holiday every Christmas to avoid it all, and you could bring back token souvenirs as alternatives to Christmas presents.

The OP is not addressing the problem at all. Now that the focus of the thread has changed from not enjoying Christmas to her eating disorder she won't be back.

I'm sorry Op, but you seem to have a 'woe is me' attitude. Almost as if you enjoy wallowing in your own self pity.
Yes, I understand you are diabetic but you also seem to have an eating disorder and are not prepared to seek medical advice for it. With not eating properly and only surviving on toast and strawberries then it's no wonder your mood is so low.
Help yourself, visit the GP, tell him/her exactly what you eating. Your diet is not normal even for a diabetic.
You have been given advice previous but you choose to ignore it. Time to take responsibility for your own problems.

I think your kids will look back and remember when the Christmas they looked forward to suddenly stopped. Can you just scale it back but keep some magic for the kids? Treat it as a nice family time rather than a religious or commercial festival. Not everyone does celebrate Christmas but imagine most of your kids class does and it would be horrible for them to go back in the new year and say that Christmas has stopped

Every thread this poster starts ultimately ends up in people banging on insulin pumps etc. If she really didn't want every discussion to end up in this, she wouldn't casually drop in the topic of her food intake. I just feel sad for her because she doesn't seem to be able to address it head on but instead seeks roundabout ways of talking about it. I really hope she finds something that works for her, otherwise it won't end well.

Take care OP, the best way you can

OMFG for you totally yes and I feel for you with the t1d but you can't just stop Christmas for your children! That's horrible

Your Very selfish selfish person if you do

I am type 1 and eat whatever I want. You must be on really old school insulin to have your diet restricted so much.