To just stop doing Christmas after this year?

[Cheekysquirrel]

I’m not religious. I don’t believe in god. I hate Christmas. I hate the tat in the shops, the music, the great big giving of crap no one needs, the food and drink (t1 diabetic so I can never even eat a Christmas lunch, much less a mince pie or a glass of wine), the lights, the waste of money for one day, the trees, having to see relatives I don’t really like, all of it really.

Imagine the happiness of just Not Doing It. Any of it. No more worrying about it, sending cards, buying shit, having to pretend to enjoy it. It’s just a massive hassle and the clutter and all the boxes and packaging afterwards drives me mad.

That’s it, I am done. The only issue I have is dh. He is very vaguely religious - believes in god in a half arsed way - but he and his family will never stop doing Christmas. How do I reconcile this alongside just stopping it? Usually I do all the gifts, the buying, the wrapping, filling the stockings, the decorating, the whole lot.

I don't actually think it is the 'stuff' that children love. It is the excitement, getting the family together, playing games, cosiness, music, lights... Both mine have birthdays near Xmas and I also get overwhelmed by too many gifts in the house, so this year I'm going to buy experience gifts instead of actual objects. I am sure they will love them.

I don't find much joy in shopping either.

Things to enjoy that are nothing to do with shopping or eating:
Going for a walk in the evening and looking at the decorations in other people's houses
Candlelit carol concert
Completing our annual Xmas jigsaw
Family board/ card games
A trip to the theatre
Cosy winter stories
Lighting/ turning on the fire (ours is literally a 3-bar fire, still lovely and cosy)
Home Alone
Making something eg a wreath
Advent candles

The problem is you are entering the realm of not knowing where the diabetes problems and the eating disorder cross. You know you have a eating disorder at some level as you are disclosing but every anorexic I have met have in their mind a logical reason for eating so little (I am involved in a support group). With the added complications of diabetes you will eventually be hospitalised and unless you seek help this will be sooner rather than later.

Glad youve decided that you dont have to be a martyr to Christmas. Don`t feel like you have to live up to all those other posters idea of a good time. But please be well and do something nice at any time of the year that makes you feel closer to family and friends. There is no need to wait until 25 December and no need for you to have to love everything tinsely.

and as an aside to the Christmas Police, by the way, Santa`s not actually real.

No need to go mad at Christmas. 1 present each for you and DH, 2-3 presents per child. Any presents for DH's family are his responsibility. Don't send cards. Decorate 1 room with tinsel and fairy lights, don't bother with a tree unless the children are old enough to decorate it AND undecorate/put away afterwards. Simple Christmas dinner - chicken, 2 veg, 1 dessert. Stick a Christmas CD on, watch the Snowman.

i think the argument on the eating disorder has come up in the past.and denied to the hilt.but ok anoerixia etc is a very different mental illness.but at least you have disordered eating.some of this can come into an eating diroserder that doesn't need to lie under the definition for anoerixia or bulimia etc.but you deff have now a problem with food.and I don't think you ever said about whether this came before the diabetes.each time posters address the deeper problems for you op you disappear.but from your op its obvious u need and are crying out for help.
to put the problems onto other things isn't going to help though.canceling chrismtas wont help.living in a bubble wont help.you wont even be able to do norma or nothing because your head is clearly troubled and that follows you wherever you go.you could be on a beach in bali and youd still be depressed and clearly effected by your diabetes and disordered food problems.
if you spokem to a professional about suitable meal plan they can even force you to have it or listen but you might feel better being guided and have all the information to hand.
you can survive on what you eat.it will mean you are tired and quite frankly shutting down bit by bit.you will then feel depressed and wanting to lie down forever not being enthusiastic or strong enough to do anything.and its a contstnat cycle of feeling low not eating enough and then weak and then too tired or sad to do anything about food,family,work etc and round you go again.
you cant steal chrismtas back from the kids.how will telling them santas doesn't exist help.
you need help from your dh.from your family.you need help now.
because if you had support you would feel so much lighter.so much more worthy.
but this has been coming and going on for a while on hee so im guessing your not ready to take help.or feel you cant right now.hence you quicjly also leave the threads.
but you can be supported.you don't need to get better to feel someone holding you up.you don't need to even change at all but to feel loved and supported might be the thing you need to even survive doing what you do right now.
you don't need to be alone or do this alone.you can and do deserve help.noone can force you.but how might it be if talkig to someone or just letting someone in feel?could it be any worse than right now?whatever control you think you have doing it all as you are now.you don't because you look like your spinning.
come on.you can do this.everything is impossible until its done hun.
could it be wore than this,really?

Take a simplify on Christmas, that's what I'm doing this year due to poor health.
It's a relief tbh.

Cam you explain how you feel to DH and create a simplified plan together ?

I don't do it.

I send 2 presents. One is a case of wine to my relatives who are having a get together and the other goes to the local women's refuge. The relatives who get the wine are church goers.

I have no tree, no decorations, don't send cards.

I have a lovely lazy day. I eat what I want, drink what I want and do what I want (mostly, I can't go to the cinema or out for a meal).

OP

I was at uni with a girl who was Eastern Orthodox, so her family celebrated Xmas in January, they bought everything in the sales. It might be an idea rather than just stopping.

Your post is all very ‘all or nothing’. At the moment you buy all of the presents, do all of the organising and cooking and are doing daft extras like elf on the shelf. And you are now considering stoping it all? I would seriously advise you to look up eupd and see how much resonates with you.
There is a middle ground. I adore Christmas, I don’t do elf on the shelf or Xmas eve boxes. I don’t buy all of the presents and we share all the cooking, cleaning and organising. My husband buys for his family and I buy for mine. We dont have piles of presents we have a few well thought out gifts for the children. Share the load and don’t try to do it all.

YY to sharing the load and finding a middle ground that suits you rather than all or nothing.

Do the things that are important to you/your DCs, but don't buy masses of gifts for the extended family, don't feel the need to cook a massive dinner every year with all the veg and sides possible. Try and get invited to other family members so you only have to cook every 2 or 3 years at most.

Let your DH sort the gifts for his side of the family and also insist that he gets you a small token surprise that he has put the thought and effort into all by himself. Then just buy your own treats as and when rather than go through a performance over exchanging gifts at Christmas.

Your illness sounds horrendous, but if you can't even eat turkey, veg, seafood, cheese etc then you really need to be working with your doctor and the appropriate specialists to find a solution .