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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Random earring - should I be suspicious?

128 replies

marmeladerose · 07/12/2018 17:58

First time poster, long time lurker here.

A quick background. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and lived for him for 2 of those. At few months ago I got a fantastic opportunity through work to relocate to London to work on a project which would last 8 months. He could not come due to work commitments (we lived together in Edinburgh) and we discussed it and decided I would go alone. We did long distance during university and it worked for us and 8 months isn't a long time in the bigger picture of things. Anyway off I went and he moved in with a friend for the duration and it was going well.

I am doing a qualification as part of the project so get odd weeks off here and there to study so I came home a few days ago for that. He is still going to work during the day and I was doing a quick tidy of his bedroom for him today and underneath some books on the bedside table I found a single big dangly earring. At first I just brushed it off and thought there must be a reasonable explanation for it, and continued with my cleaning. However it keeps coming back in to my head. Why is this earring here? It definitely isn't one of mine. And now I am sat on the bed staring at this Pat Butcher earring and stressing out. Please someone tell me IABU. I need advice.

OP posts:
Haworthia · 07/12/2018 18:00

I would be very suspicious I’m afraid.

Trinity66 · 07/12/2018 18:01

On the bedside table? Yeah I'd be suspicious of that

TheBubGrower · 07/12/2018 18:01

That is unusual. I think I'd be freaking out too. Do you have any other reason to think he might be unfaithful? You're going to have to ask him about it

Sexnotgender · 07/12/2018 18:01

I’d be suspicious too unfortunately 🙁

I’d do some further digging before saying anything though.

Dontknowwhattodo23 · 07/12/2018 18:01

I’d be suspicious

FannytheW0nderDog · 07/12/2018 18:02

Hmmm sounds dodgy doesn't it? Hang onto the earring, take a photo of it and look around for more evidence before you confront him. Please be aware that he will most likely deny all knowledge.

Original poster
marmeladerose · 07/12/2018 18:04

I have no other reason to believe he would be unfaithful. My first instinct was to trust there was a reasonable explanation for it, and I forgot about it for a while, but then I started to think it was a strange and not really a normal situation. But apart from this everything is good and I don't want to accuse him of something.

OP posts:
DoYouLikeBasghetti · 07/12/2018 18:05

I found a pair of earrings in mine and ex's bedroom once and it turned out he was cheating. But I sincerely hope that's not the case for you.

ThePinkOcelot · 07/12/2018 18:06

I would be very suspicious. There’s no logical explanation as yo why it’s there.

LtJudyHopps · 07/12/2018 18:06

If he’s moved in with his friend it could be from before he moved in. His friend could have had someone stay there when your boyfriend wasn’t there? I’d be suspicious probably too though.

Positi · 07/12/2018 18:08

Only one possible source it could have come from really.

Biancadelriosback · 07/12/2018 18:09

Tbf, DH had his ear pierced back in the day and when he's been drunk he has tried to force and earring in (god only knows where he gets them from) so he has come home before looking like a pirate with a giant hoop in one ear (and dried blood on his shirt). Is there anyway it could be something similar?

KungFuPandaWorks · 07/12/2018 18:10

I know this isn't helpful, but Pat Butcher earring Grin

Send him a picture and ask where the other one is.

TheMagician · 07/12/2018 18:11

Id fish a bit. Did his friend sleep in the room. How is the friend. Is he single? Looking?
Spreading the questions out a bit.

Im afraid though if his friend has not entertained in his room, i think he has cheated

Original poster
marmeladerose · 07/12/2018 18:11

Biancadelriosback Unfortunately, he does not have his ears pierced.

OP posts:
JustWhatINeededNow · 07/12/2018 18:12

Do they have a cleaner?

Original poster
marmeladerose · 07/12/2018 18:12

TheMagician His friend has a girlfriend.

OP posts:
Original poster
marmeladerose · 07/12/2018 18:13

JustWhatINeededNow no cleaner (unless they count me)

OP posts:
Auntiepatricia · 07/12/2018 18:13

Can you think of ANY other explanation?

TheMagician · 07/12/2018 18:13

Ok. That gives some hope i think. Is there any reason why his friend would be in yr partners room?

formerbabe · 07/12/2018 18:14

Very suspicious.

In fact I have a theory that many 'other women' plant items for the wife/girlfriend to find in the hope that she'll dump the bloke thus leaving the way clear for her.

Scarydinosaurs · 07/12/2018 18:16

Is this his friend’s room? Was it under his friend’s stuff? Or are the books etc his?

90mammasophie · 07/12/2018 18:22

I think you know the reason why there's a dangly earring beside his bed ConfusedXmas Sad.
There can't really be many plausible explanations. Sorry , I've been there before myself, found a mascara under a boyfriend's bed.

Original poster
marmeladerose · 07/12/2018 18:23

•Scarydinosaurs• It is his room in his friend's flat.

OP posts:
Autumnsunrise · 07/12/2018 18:24

Does he have Facebook? I would have a nosy on his friends list for photos of the earring.

Definitely don't say anything yet. Look for changes in behaviour and phone activity. Password all of a sudden? Try and keep calm though. Good luck Flowers