AIBU to think my friends fiancé is a married man?

[MysteryManchild]

NC for obvious reasons.

Friend has been with her ‘fiance’ for 4 years. I’ve met him 5 times despite me and her being best friends for 15 years. She has a 2yo DD who she loves whole heartedly. Her DD and my DS are best friends, we hang out at least 5 times a week doing various activities with the babies.

So her DF travels for work constantly. Literally comes home for 1 night every 3 weeks. Sometimes he is uncontainable when he is ‘busy’ or doing very secretive stuff, because get this ....he works for the government. Apparently he can’t tell work about their relationship because she’s originally from America (lived here since she was ten, though doesn’t have a British passport), so their relationship is secret from his work and even his parents (she’s never met them). Friend buys all this because she loves him so much, but she’s lost all her other friends and family because of this so I’m all she has. Her mum has told her that she’s a fool and can’t stand to see her DGD have such a non existent father.

So a few points:

• he is invisible on social media, has no account on anything.
• literally home 1 weeknight every three weeks or so, sometimes more.
• she’s never met friends or family
• he claims to be a spy or whatever. (Not technically a spy but works for the government and can’t claim their relationship??)
• says he gets no holiday and also works 7 days a week, every week.
• claims to work 24 hours straight sometimes and that’s why he sometimes goes off the radar. (Wouldn’t you like, die if you never got a day off and worked this long frequently)
• doesn’t really know anything about DD, she’s kinda on her own with her
• apparently can’t get any time off over Christmas so she’s spending it with me and my DS. (Surely no one works Christmas Day if they work for the government? Unless.. he is a spy?)

There’s probably more but I can’t think! Happy to answer any questions!

Also to note, she won’t listen to reason and has cut EVERYONE out who questioned it so I really can’t bring this up, we are all she has, seriously.

SO! AIBU to think he’s a lying shit who probably has a wife and kids????

Any update on this OP?

Any update on this OP? I always thought this was a very interesting situation.

Check him out on 192

Post her a Walter Mitty book.

Being American wouldn’t mean he couldn’t be in a relationship with her. She would need to be security vetted just like the partners of anyone else doing the job he claims to have.

He is 100% a married man.

It seems pretty obvious he has another family! Someone I know had a twenty year affair with a woman from work, had ivf behind his wife and kids back to have a child with OW and he used to see his second family most days of the week, walking the dog, popping out for food, weekends away with his friends then would come home and be all happy with his first family, he got found out and now lives with OW and has the most weirdest relationship with his first family

Does this qualify as a Zombie thread given the amount of time that's lapsed since the last post and Op's last input?

I know it's a Zombie thread but I figured this lockdown might have answered this once and for all.

I remember this thread. Would be interesting to know the outcome!

@RollingDog GENIUS