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Original poster

Would you encourage your DD to marry someone rich?

271 replies

DixieDarling1 · 04/12/2018 20:12

I have a DD who is in her twenties, and two younger children, and have always encouraged DD to be in a relationship with someone who loves her, treats her well, and makes her happy.

I was on a night out at the weekend and talking to a friend of a friend who has 3 DDs in their twenties, and she was saying that she has always encouraged them to find a husband/partner who is wealthy, and has made it clear to them when they've had boyfriends who haven't made the cut that she isn't happy.

She is thrilled that the eldest of her DDs has recently married a man in his mid thirties who is very wealthy, and boasted all evening about it and about the house/car/lifestyle that her DD now has.

It just made me wonder really if this is a 'thing' and whether parents do encourage their daughters to marry someone rich, and should I be doing the same to my DDs?

OP posts:
coolwalking · 04/12/2018 20:20

Why do so many PP think it's ok for men to have financial control over their lives?

riotlady · 04/12/2018 20:21

Would be a bit hypocritical of me tbh, considering her dad earns minimum wage!

Noviceoftheweek · 04/12/2018 20:21

I know somebody who will apparently encourage her very young DD to do just that. Hmm Go make your own money is what I say.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 04/12/2018 20:22

Surly everyone wants their children to have a 'better' life. I will be encouraging my DC to date rich, intelligent, good looking people and hope they fall in love with one of them.

mistywintermorning · 04/12/2018 20:23

I did make my own money

But unless you make serious bucks, it's going to be tough on one income. So if you have to be married, well.

Excited101 · 04/12/2018 20:23

I would, obviously not in place of happiness or kindness etc but be a factor.

Flowerpot2005 · 04/12/2018 20:23

Money can buy many things but true, genuine happiness, it can't. U less you're both that shallow.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 04/12/2018 20:25

I'm going to be honest. I would want DD to marry someone who could give her a comfortable life.

If course ill be happy for her no matter who she marries. I want her to feel loved and have that emotional connection, but if they've also got enough wealth for her to not have to spend nights worrying about bills and how to pay for the next food shop then that would also be great

theonlyKevin · 04/12/2018 20:26

Why do so many PP think it's ok for men to have financial control over their lives?

I am not sure why not wanting your DD to hook up with a lazy sod with no money and no prospect who can't even keep up with her means accepting financial control from men....

formerbabe · 04/12/2018 20:27

Lovely poorer man < Lovely wealthy man

Arsehole poorer man < Arsehole wealthy man

Lovely poorer man > Arsehole wealthy man

Arsehole poorer man < Lovely wealthy man

Hth!

ragged · 04/12/2018 20:27

DD probably won't fall in love with someone unless they are filthy rich, tbh. She'll be an adult by then, so her choice.

IggityZiggityZoom · 04/12/2018 20:28

Yes absolutely make your own money but unless you're a lesbian you'll be the one carrying/birthing/feeding a baby. And you may not want to walk away from that baby and straight back into an office once you've done all that. I never ever thought I'd stay home until I had my first and the idea of leaving him was wrenching. I would have never thought it before I had him. In fact I'd have thought it a little pathetic. But I was so grateful that I didn't have to until I was ready because DH made more than enough to support us.

coolwalking · 04/12/2018 20:29

@theonlyKevin I was referring to the PP who were encouraging their DD to marry rich men whilst not striving to achieve financial independence on their own.

willdoitinaminute · 04/12/2018 20:30

‘‘Tis far better to be an ambitious rich woman in your own right”
Several of my friends have recently become very much poorer ex wives. Me, I married for love and stay because I want to not because I have to.
My mother made sure that her daughters had a good education that led to well paid careers. It would have been nice to have been looked after but I have never had to worry about being replaced for a newer model. That’s for my DH to worry about!

Sethis · 04/12/2018 20:30

Rich

Handsome

Bend over backwards lovely

They're all good, if you can get them. Doesn't mean you have to pressure anyone into hunting down one virtue over another.

Bit sad really that she measures "success" by the car her DD drives. I'd hope a mother might care rather more about her happiness.

DDIJ · 04/12/2018 20:30

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

HollowTalk · 04/12/2018 20:31

My daughter went out with someone who had all her money off her and saw her working hard while he dossed about. She won't do it again.

Stompythedinosaur · 04/12/2018 20:33

I don't think that being dependant on your partner is always a recipe for happiness. I will be encouraging my dds to be self-sufficient so that they can have an equal relationship, and all the freedom and self-esteem that goes with it.

Monkeynuts18 · 04/12/2018 20:35

I adore my DH. He’s lovely, kind, good-looking and hard-working.

But I sometimes find myself wishing - more frequently than I would ever admit in RL - that I’d married someone richer. Money just HELPS. With everything. A few of my friends married older men who were established in their careers, and their lives are just so much easier than mine! Plus they fear ageing less.

Oblomov18 · 04/12/2018 20:35

Ds1 wants to have a reasonable amount/quite a bit of money. It's important for him to not struggle financially. I can understand that.

Ds2 wouldn't care.

Santasushi · 04/12/2018 20:35

I would encourage my daughter to marry someone with ambition and drive (unlike her father) but I encourage her to be the same. The world doesn’t owe her and a future partner shouldn’t ‘keep’ her.
They could be super rich but with no ambition it’s wasted.

SparklyLeprechaun · 04/12/2018 20:39

I wouldn't encourage a marriage where there is disparity of income. I hope DD will be ambitious and have a good income, and marry someone similar.

Zofloramummy · 04/12/2018 20:39

I would tell my dd to make her own success. Yes money makes things easier but to marry without love is a cold road. No amount of Louis Vuitton bags makes up for genuine care, affection and love.

If marriage is transactional then there is always the risk that you get shelved for the newer shiny model in the future too.

donquixotedelamancha · 04/12/2018 20:42

My daughters can make their own life choices; but I'd be bloody upset if they grew up to be so pathetically shallow they saw money as a measure of human value- then on top of that decided they didn't need to achieve it for themselves but could just trade affection for it.

EdWinchester · 04/12/2018 20:43

I don't have daughters, but my best friend has 3.

She freely admits they are at the right universities mostly for networking purposes and that she wants them to marry well.

She says obviously marry for love, but make sure he's well off! Her daughters are in the Kate Middleton mould - the best private education and opportunities, then they will piss about in an appropriate 'job' for a bit, but the end goal for them is to marry well, have babies and not work.

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