To think this is rude?

[impossiblecat]

Me: do you want to do this thing at x time?

Friend: I'd love to, but can we make it Y time?

I then have to rejig everything, including naps. She does it every time! We both have toddlers. Humph.

Not rude in the slightest.

well we need more info

was it meeting in a park for a picnic? - could be flexible

was it tickets to see the harry potter play?- depends if tickets had been bought or not

Personally I can't see what the issue is. Your friend wanted to see you, and do whatever it was you had chosen. She just couldn't do the date you'd proposed. So she proposed a different date. You didnt have to say yes. You could have said "oooh no, that doesn't work, how about X time instead?"

Talk about a mountain and molehill...

Erm no. The time wasn’t suitable for her. You could’ve just as reasonably said no to the new time.

Not rude

You asked if you could do an activity

She asked if you could do it at a particular tone

You accepted

Done

Her response isn't rude,because you're now at liberty to respond 'ah, no, sorry, I can't do y time, what about z?'

Not rude, just say no, that doesn’t work for you.

Not rude at all. If the other time doesn’t work for you say “sorry the latest I can do is x or we can do it another time”

I've stopped asking her now as I got bored with rearranging my day.

It's not a different date, it'd be changing something by a couple of hours or so.

Every bloody time.

Or you could just say it doesn’t work for you?
What’s rude is to agree, rearrange your day without a word but then come here and moan about someone who’s supposed to be your friend.

if you're annoyed with her then stop asking.

You should like you just want a moan tbh

Why ask her then if you're just going to moan about it?

Not everybody is on the same schedule as you.

Is she doing Gina ford or similar?
I had a friend who did that, and everything had to be on her schedule - I can meet at 13.07 hours for a coffee, but I need to leave at 13.43. I got bored of the inflexibility in the end, and found other friends. I'd then tell her 'we're doing x at y time, join us if you'd like to'

You're not rearranging because you've not yet made firm plans.

You are being unreasonable. You can always say no if something does not suit you.

But to do it every time? For about three and half years? I wouldn't do it. I just say yes or no. Simple.

Well good for you??!!

(slow clap)

Honestly op, you're just whining now

You’ve suggested a time that works for your schedule and seem set on sticking to it, why do you have any reason to believe she doesn’t also have a schedule that would work better for her?

Course it's not rude! She's asking youna question ffs, have you tried texting back "Can't do 2pm sorry it will need to be 10am, let me know if you can make that work"

But if you've never told her it's a problem, how is she to know?
In her mind, she's said the time that suits her, and you've said yes. Does she know that you're changing your day around to accommodate?

It sounds like you don't like her very much. Perhaps it's best if you just stop seeing each other if it's so annoying.

Why don't you sort something for the next day then you would be able to plan in advance?

Occasionally it would be nice if she rearranged hers, that's the point.

Then ask her to.

Well I'd imagine she wants it to fit around naps etc.

Surely this is just the normal way to arrange something?

YABU

Do people really talk to their friends like that? Don't believe that.