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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder when woman started obsessing over their lady garden?

363 replies

Hellsbells35 · 03/12/2018 08:21

I had the misfortune of watching Naked Attraction and was shocked at the lack of pubes...and how people were berated for having a postage stamp sized amount. The men’s view also seemed to be strange where there was a definite trend for those looking like a plucked turkey.

I dabbled with a Brazilian when I was in my twenties but soon stopped when I realised it was a complete waste of time and money.

I now have a full bush and I love it. I really don’t see the appeal of shaving/waxing to have horrid regrowth and ingrown hairs or to look like a child.

AIBU to think we should all band together and let our lady gardens flourish to turn the tide on this degrading trend?

OP posts:
ninjawarriorsocks · 04/12/2018 23:25

PS but please can people STOP saying pubic hair is unhygienic! or saying 'I feel cleaner without it' or 'ewww' or 'its easier to wash' or 'its better for periods' or 'pubic hair smells' etc. Pubic hair is perfectly hygienic if you wash it regularly. Nobody shaves all their hair off their head because it's 'cleaner'.... Hmm

Safeandwarm · 05/12/2018 07:38

Sethis your posts are making me feel quite bilious to be honest. Your oral technique sounds rather sloppy tbh.

IdaBWells · 05/12/2018 07:48

I hardly ever touch my pubes unless I will be swimming a lot. My 3 teenagers are also very relaxed, two are girls. They rarely remove pubic hair either and I am glad they seem to have a healthy self-image and don't feel the need to remove hair unless going to the beach etc

There is no right or wrong but people shouldn't feel obliged to groom themselves in a certain way because of media, porn or preferences from partners unless it is something they enjoy.

Whisky2014 · 05/12/2018 07:54

I agree with sethis

Babycham1979 · 05/12/2018 08:10

Why's it any more 'disturbing' then the pressure on boys and men to shave their faces? Does that also represent some kind of societal pederasty? If not, why not?

Despite changing fashions, men are often required to be cleanly shaven by employers and boys by schools. Are they supposed to be looking 'pre-pubescent'?!

Helmetbymidnight · 05/12/2018 08:14

I don’t think you’re allowed to think there is any pressure.

The line is ‘it’s personal preferance’ - end of.

Oblomov18 · 05/12/2018 08:56

I'm saddened that it's come from the porn industry for current teenagers. They now think it's normal. I don't think it is.
I don't mind if you prefer it. That's your choice. But to see it as the norm, is the bit I don't like.

Like OP I don't like the hair free naked attraction. I would prefer to see variety, from none to full bush.

But also it bothers me that teenage boys are used to seeing hair free footballers advertising shower products aswell.

I'm hoping it's a phase. But I fear not.

Oblomov18 · 05/12/2018 09:17

Actually, I think it started a long time ago, and isn't that new.
I remember smack the pony, bikini line, but I can't remember what year that was.

aintnothinbutagstring · 05/12/2018 09:30

I don't think not having pubic hair is cleaner, I think pubic hair probably protects against infection. Id be interested to see if there's any correlation between the incidence of thrush/uti/sti and the lack of pubic hair.

JacquesHammer · 05/12/2018 09:34

Id be interested to see if there's any correlation between the incidence of thrush/uti/sti and the lack of pubic hair

I suspect there’s too many other factors at play - certainly with thrush - to get a true picture.

Anecdotally I don’t think I’m susceptible - I’ve had it twice both coincided with taking a course of antibiotics.

Storm4star · 05/12/2018 10:16

Why's it any more 'disturbing' then the pressure on boys and men to shave their faces

Totally different thing but if you want to get technical about it...plenty of men grow beards nowadays and have jobs etc. It just needs to look tidy. Men do not say to other men with facial hair "eeww that's disgusting and unhygenic" True some women don't like beards (I'm not a fan myself) but if they choose to date a bearded man they won't turn around a month later and say "I'm not kissing you unless you shave it off". It's completely different.

JacquesHammer · 05/12/2018 10:27

True some women don't like beards (I'm not a fan myself) but if they choose to date a bearded man they won't turn around a month later and say "I'm not kissing you unless you shave it off". It's completely different

Whilst I agree it isn't the same, there have been a couple of threads very recently asking if people are reasonable in not having sex with a husband who has grown facial hair. So whilst on a wider societal level facial hair obviously hasn't the same influences, on a smaller level I think there's pressure there.

KlutzyDraconequus · 05/12/2018 10:35

if they choose to date a bearded man they won't turn around a month later and say "I'm not kissing you unless you shave it off"

This has happened to me a few times.

woollyheart · 05/12/2018 10:51

I feel quite sorry for people who have to work in the beauty industry and wax these very intimate ares on other people. Is it stressful - as in being a dentist?

I suppose they have chosen this as a career, so have to put on a brave face.

katekat383 · 05/12/2018 12:48

woollyheart

Riiiight.

katekat383 · 05/12/2018 12:50

Are you seriously comparing dentists and people who work in a salon? One is a career, as we know it. The other, not so much.

SaucyJack · 05/12/2018 12:58

Weird comment woolly.

Do you pity midwives or care assistants as well? They look at fannies and ballsacks too.

Maybe beauticians are more professional than you give them credit for.

homebirds · 05/12/2018 13:08

It was honestly years before I ever thought this was a thing!! I look back with horror at the thought people were thinking "is she ever going to do something with this?" I would never have hairy armpits or legs (my personal choice) so I'm a bit embarrassed about my Bush!!!

woollyheart · 05/12/2018 17:28

Midwives and care assistants do it because people need help during childbirth or are in need of care. I would be happy doing this if I was helping preserve someone's health or they were unable to look after themselves.

It is not the same with grooming services. These are not necessary and are purely someone being paid for a service for cosmetic reasons.

woollyheart · 05/12/2018 17:29

I suppose I do not like taking services from someone else if I would be unwilling to do the same service for others. This is one I would never want to offer anyone.

JacquesHammer · 05/12/2018 17:32

These are not necessary and are purely someone being paid for a service for cosmetic reasons

And? If the beautician is happy to do it?

greenpop21 · 05/12/2018 17:40

So I guess you're equally happy with your partner going "lol no thanks" when you suggest they give you oral?

Luckily for him, I don't have a pair or wrinkly balls! Grin

greenpop21 · 05/12/2018 17:42

some men prefer hair

From my own experience talking to other men, a significant minority.

I find the opposite. my DH finds it 'weird' and so do his mates. they are all in their late 30s and 40s.

greenpop21 · 05/12/2018 17:52

And? If the beautician is happy to do it?

My friend was a beauty therapist. When she trained, bikini waxes were that, waxing around the bikini pant line. In the last 15 years it all changed and she was asked to do full waxes and wax male parts. She objected and guess what, she got less clients allocated to her. Finally, she left and re trained. I completely understand why she didn't want to. I don't want to come into that close personal contact with anyone apart from DH, let alone a stranger!

JacquesHammer · 05/12/2018 17:55

I don't want to come into that close personal contact with anyone apart from DH, let alone a stranger!
So don’t do it then Grin

I come into contact with various beauticians through work. Some salons have no-one who will do a Hollywood, some have one therapist who will. None are pressured into it or lose clients.

But then it isn’t their biggest selling point, the number of full hair removal they do is absolutely minute.