AIBU to wonder when woman started obsessing over their lady garden?

[Hellsbells35]

I had the misfortune of watching Naked Attraction and was shocked at the lack of pubes...and how people were berated for having a postage stamp sized amount. The men’s view also seemed to be strange where there was a definite trend for those looking like a plucked turkey.

I dabbled with a Brazilian when I was in my twenties but soon stopped when I realised it was a complete waste of time and money.

I now have a full bush and I love it. I really don’t see the appeal of shaving/waxing to have horrid regrowth and ingrown hairs or to look like a child.

AIBU to think we should all band together and let our lady gardens flourish to turn the tide on this degrading trend?

Of course no choice is made in a vacuum but many people make choices like this, shaving legs, wearing make up, wearing skirts and dresses, colouring hair etc. Most women do things to make themselves look or feel better. Why the fuck are people judging them for doing it?

OP was trying to have conversation about the societal impact of porn on fashion, wasnt she? Thats not judging.

I’m not.

I’m judging people for being unable to see that a whole generation of young women didn’t suddenly or independently go ‘urgh, pubic hair is unhygeinic’ - there were masses of cultural factors at play. It’s mystifying that people are so averse to accepting that.

I first noticed it around 13 years ago.

He still insists it would be child-like

It’s so simplistic though. I’m presuming you do or at some point remove hair/under arm hair? Does he believe those are childlike?!

I’ve just asked my OH (who is nothing more than very casual). He said “erm...you’ve got adult genitals, how can no hair be childlike”.

Thank goodness

It's all very well blaming porn, until you watch some and notice that plenty of the women do have pubes, even famous stars like Stormzy Daniels.

I am not feminist enough to do something that makes me feel uncomfortable, I.e grow out foof hair and armpit hair. I mean each to their own and whatever floats your boat.

I first removed hair at 21 at the ‘nice’ request of a man and what a revelation! Clean, sexy, sensual. Never had hair there again since, even during protracted single periods. I just don’t like it, sorry.

I like it that I can wipe my nethers clean after visiting the bathroom. I like that I don’t worry about putting on a swimsuit/bikini, I just do. I like it that I can (and do) wear sexy revealing underwear which looks great. Do you like sporting big bloomers to keep it all in as it will certainly poke out of thongs or a lacy little number? Not for me, thanks. Periods are easier, cleaner, with less accompanying whiff. Men’s sperm does not smell while vag secretions do and period blood does, certainly.

Men can be grungy, but I don’t think it is a race to the bottom as to who cares less about their appearance. I like my DH to be trimmed down there, I don’t enjoy a mouthful of pubes when going down on him. He also trims his chest hair. The feel of smooth silky hairless skin is so sensual. There is greater sensation during oral.

So, in essence, bully to you if you proudly wear a full bush, but it’s not something you can persuade me to do.

I have now lasered it all off as I worked out I am never going back anyway, so it saves the job waxing. H lives it, I love it. Everybody happy 💋

I only trim back the longest ends that might protrude from a bikini, but my bush is fine and blonde. I really love it and so does DH. No hygiene problems here.
The way I look at it is that we have public hair after millions of years of evolution. It must have a natural function or it wouldn't be there.

I think it's very bizarre and disturbing that any adult male (or female) thinks that a woman with a shaved minge looks like a child.

As has been said, does he also think you look like a child when you shave your pits or your legs?

What a bizarre way to think.

I would be questioning everything if my husband said that, and looking at him in a different light. Thank goodness my husband does not think that way.

Also, as I said earlier, you can guarantee that these judgmental, finger waggers, who spout bile at women who shave and trim their minge accusing them of 'bowing to the patriarchy' and 'doing what men want,' wear make up, dye their hair, pluck their eyebrows, whiten their teeth, and lose weight, (to improve their appearance, and attract men,) and also wear nice underwear (for their men.) They will deny it obviously.

I will also add to the fact that a well-trimmed minge (or shaven,) makes oral sex waaaaay better. If you have never had a man given you oral when you have a shaven (or very well trimmed) minge, you haven't lived. It awakens all kinds of sensations you have never experienced before. And as has been said by a few people, it's much better and more hygienic when you're on your period.

I will also repeat something else I said earlier... There are always women on here, starting threads, and posting on threads where they are judging, and slagging off women who shave and trim their pubic hair.

I have NEVER seen women who trim and shave their pubes, judge women who don't.

What they fuck is their problem? (The women who have a full bush and don't shave.) They must be so insecure really, and unsure about their full bush, to have to keep slagging off women who shave it/trim it.

As I said earlier in the thread. Just bore off and mind your own damn business. Whether women shave their pubes or not has fuckall to do with you. And saying they look like a child is weird and nasty. What toxic minds some people must have!

I am leaving the thread now. Said all I want to say. Off out Christmas shopping now!

@dontaskmyname

I first removed hair at 21 at the ‘nice’ request of a man and what a revelation! Clean, sexy, sensual. Never had hair there again since, even during protracted single periods. I just don’t like it, sorry.

I like it that I can wipe my nethers clean after visiting the bathroom. I like that I don’t worry about putting on a swimsuit/bikini, I just do. I like it that I can (and do) wear sexy revealing underwear which looks great.

Do you like sporting big bloomers to keep it all in as it will certainly poke out of thongs or a lacy little number? Not for me, thanks. Periods are easier, cleaner, with less accompanying whiff.

All of this! ^

@ViragoKnows

Sure. Except in her first post she calls it degrading.

Pretty clear that impartial debate was never really the intent.

Not weighing on what others should do but want to ask about waxing:
if I wax (legs, bikini line etc) there is regrowth within 3 days. So if waxing once a month I'd be stubbly to hairy for most of it. Am I unusual? (I usually shave my legs daily on holiday). Are some women/people too hairy for waxing? Does the same thing not happen to men who wax chests etc?

I remember being a young girl and the thrill of public hair beginning to sprout. It meant I was growing up! Our society has removed the magic of the very thing that shows us to be adults, and then is appalled when men are caught looking at child porn. They all look the same then, once the hair is removed. As for men shaving, bleah. DH had chemo and lost every hair. The missing pubes bothered me most, as it was like being with a kid and I didn't care for it. I like my men to look like men, and I am pleased that he wants me to look like a woman.

They all look the same then, once the hair is removed

You seriously think adult female genitals could be mistake for child female genitals?

From a man’s perspective I think that a woman should be comfortable whatever the choice may be! I have as many friends that like it bushy as I have that like it smooth! None of them would be turning it away in any condition though!

Having had partners ranging from the completely smooth nethers to full bush I don’t think it really matters as much as some women may think. I also don’t think that hygiene is much of an argument either as women with full bush can be perfectly clean and healthy down below and the completely shaven doesn’t guarantee clean either. A good hygiene routine is not based upon whether there is hair there or not!

On a side note, is it a bad thing if a partner has a preferrance to one that they share that with you as a suggestion and that not be taken as a criticism or pressure? In a healthy relationship I presume these sorts of conversations are okay and part of being open with each other. My other half tells me she prefers it when I have a stubble (on my face) than clean shaven or full beard but it isn’t something that is a problem or that I am offended by. The same conversation is surely okay for below the belt?

Oh yeah AND I just remembered that aside from the whole porno thing.... whenever I have removed my pubes in the past I have had an issue with peeing. In that I t goes off in all directions & I frequently end up with pee all over my clothes. It's like the hair guides it down into the toilet. In a straight line. Neatly and without mess.
Does anyone else find this? Or just me???

No, it's not just you. If I trim it, I get a wet bum when I pee. I don't get pee on my clothes, but that might be because I don't try to remove all the hair.

I'm cringing at the thought that I might be unusual in having pubic hair. I had IVF, followed by a long labour and C section and a LOT of medical staff saw my private parts. I hope they weren't thinking I looked weird.

Au natural here too - also a child of the 80s. I wonder if this trend for complete control and management of our bodies is partly a reaction to an external world that's gone mad. I can just about understand that, though not enough to be bothered by what seems really unnecessary and pointless over grooming. Have to admit I also find the over-groomed, over-made-up plastic feminine look du jour a bit creepy.

I am not a particularly hairy person, but if I waxed I would have to do it at least weekly to not feel stubbly most of the time.

Maybe it just depends on your skin and hair type on which feels better.

Is it a bad thing if a partner has a preferrance to one that they share that with you as a suggestion and that not be taken as a criticism or pressure?

Yes, because then obviously you're a tool of the patriarchy and forcing your partner to conform to unrealistic porn-inspired ideals blah blah blah blah.

In all seriousness, no, of course people should be having this conversation with their partners. After sleeping with a woman a few times and the relationship is going well then I've always asked "are you happy with me being neatly trimmed like it is now, or do you prefer something else?" And the answer has always been "Yeah, it's fine now" or similar. If it gets longer than they like I hope they'd tell me.

It's really far less about the looks for me, and far more about what gives a nice sensation in the mouth. I have yet to hear any full bush advocates opining that having a mouthful of pubic hair is more erotic than trimmed or depilated.

I like to keep mine tidy but then it depends on the woman I guess? I’m more comfortable when mine is at least somewhat trimmed and tidied at the edges (I do it myself though - have never paid for somebody else to rip my hairs from their follicles!) and it’s for me - nobody else.

I think there’s an expectation since pornography and the fashion industry took this direction and I don’t think anybody should force themselves into self torture for the sake of anybody else - but then I know a few women who look forward to their monthly wax like it’s a day out :’)

I have yet to hear any full bush advocates opining that having a mouthful of pubic hair is more erotic than trimmed or depilated

God this annoys me so much! The shaved brigade always come out with this one! How are you doing oral sex to get a "mouthful" of pubic hair!!!? I have a full bush! It is not big, it is not spilling out of my pants! It is a normal amount of pubic hair. I have been given oral sex plenty of times. Many, many times the man did not get any hair in his mouth. Occasionally they might get one. Not a mouthful, one. And is having a pubic hair in your mouth (which you just remove, no biggie) any worse than having semen or women's secretions in your mouth?? If you're doing oral sex then that's pretty intimate. Intimate enough that you shouldn't be freaking out over 1 stray hair!

Shaven men look like the last chicken in the shop.

Oral sex is centred around the clitoris and vulva is it not? Similarly, a man's penis, not the bush above it. There is no hair there!

Exactly storm

I remember a conversation about pubes back in the early 2000s when first the Brazilian then the Hollywood were starting to become popular. Most men and women were baffled why anyone would do that, and felt sorry for the beauticians who suddenly had to ad this to their list of services (and this was before anal waxing....)

We laughed at the notion that blokes would shave their pubes one day, even though someone suggested it would make the penis look bigger (does it? Can anyone confirm if this visual trick actually works?)

Innocent days, eh

"are you happy with me being neatly trimmed like it is now, or do you prefer something else?

See, I'm much more of a take it or leave it gal. My pubic region is awesome, and anyone who is lucky enough to get to touch it doesn't also get to tell me how to groom it