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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder when woman started obsessing over their lady garden?

363 replies

Hellsbells35 · 03/12/2018 08:21

I had the misfortune of watching Naked Attraction and was shocked at the lack of pubes...and how people were berated for having a postage stamp sized amount. The men’s view also seemed to be strange where there was a definite trend for those looking like a plucked turkey.

I dabbled with a Brazilian when I was in my twenties but soon stopped when I realised it was a complete waste of time and money.

I now have a full bush and I love it. I really don’t see the appeal of shaving/waxing to have horrid regrowth and ingrown hairs or to look like a child.

AIBU to think we should all band together and let our lady gardens flourish to turn the tide on this degrading trend?

OP posts:
SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 03/12/2018 22:59

I remember that episode of SATC sylvanian Smile

JennyRob20 · 03/12/2018 23:20

I use a close trimming razor front and back. Hair their is v soft so isn’t stubbly. Never noticed any nastiest in the string

anothermothersusername · 03/12/2018 23:48

I personally think it looks nicer without and I used to shave down there (never felt brave enough to get a wax). I gave up in the end as it always grew back stubbly and I couldn’t be bothered (I can’t even be bothered to shave my legs these days Blush ).

JennyRob20 · 04/12/2018 00:07

Shaving doesn’t work. You’re better off trimming with the clippers. I like the feel and the look afterwards. I always feel fresh and not at all stubbly

3in4years · 04/12/2018 00:25

WinterfellWench assumes all women wear make up and dye their hair etc. An awful lot of the women I spend time with don't. Of all the things listed which make us all hypocrites, I only do one: wear a bra. I don't think it's to make me more attractive. It's practical- to avoid backache etc.

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 04/12/2018 00:27

I did try starting my own thread, but thought this would be appropriate here as well

TheDowagerCuntess · 04/12/2018 03:22

Or, as I already said, I just like the feel of it waxed. Didn’t have it waxed in my 20s; same partner for 11 years so not his influence; don’t watch porn

People seem to really struggle with this. It's not 'or'. It's 'both'.

You (generic) may not watch porn, and may feel you haven't been influenced by porn.

But the fashion for removing pubic hair in its entirely (which the majority of young people currently follow) was influenced by porn.

1forAll74 · 04/12/2018 03:59

Years ago I used to work in a supermarket,, I am an oldie, but worked with lots of the younger set. They were once discussing this topic, and one young woman said she liked the big bushy effect, and went on to say,that she regularly coloured her Bush,to match her hair colouring,

She sometimes had red hair, sometimes pink or purple hair, and even an orange tint.. I suppose if it's called a lady garden.she wanted a floral effect ha ha

jade9390 · 04/12/2018 04:03

Might have been a thing in ancient times but this has only happened in the last 20 years. People waxed and shaved, just to keep it tidy before. It is down to porn, I have met men who think hair is not natural because they rarely see it in porn. Naked Atrraction is part of the problem, they never have anyone fat or old on it s not a reflection of the public. Pubic hair is there for many reasons, it helps prevent some diseases, gives of phermones and actually prevents sweat and regulates temperature.

TheDowagerCuntess · 04/12/2018 04:28

People are only usually bitchy and critical if they are jealous.

Can we delve into this idea a bit?

If women were jealous, wouldn't they just remove their pubes...? You don't have to pass an exam or something, before you're allowed to do it.

And speaking of 'bitchy' and 'critical'... Wink

I don't remove, I just do some low level maintenance, so don't have a vested interest either way.

KringleBells · 04/12/2018 05:20

Porn, internet, porn.

FrangipaniBlue · 04/12/2018 05:34

I don't watch porn.

I'm not pressured or expected to do anything by any man.

I'm a grown up who can make my own choices, one of which is to have all of my pubic hair removed..... because I prefer it that way.

Go figure.

GeorgeFayne · 04/12/2018 05:41

Totally agree that porn is the likely impetus here...

That said, it is now expected for young women to be fully bare. As a pediatrician, I do a fair number of adolescent gynecologic exams (in the USA) and it has been YEARS since I've examined a teen with much pubic hair.

My friends, let that garden grow! Better for your vagina and the microbiome of your vulva and perineum to have hair. (Gentle trimming ok, but don't shave or wax or permanently remove.) It is there for a reason!

www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/04/war-pubic-hair.html

LadyRochfordsFrostedGusset · 04/12/2018 05:48

The Ancient Romans did it. I think it's one of those trends that comes and goes (no pun intended). For me I like a bit of a landing strip - but it's just a preference. Don't see why people get worked up about it. Saying that I don't like totally hairless man bits tbh.

nottakingthisanymore · 04/12/2018 06:37

Do what you want but it is definitely more common now than 30 years ago. It is therefore a fashion. What has caused that fashion? I think it’s porn. Doesn’t really matter what others do but would hate for my dds to feel pressured to do something that they didn’t want to with their own body because of their partners. Hope that they find someone who doesn’t care either way. I would like to think that most men don’t care but reading threads on here I sometimes think that is not the case.

BertrandRussell · 04/12/2018 06:44

Fascinating how for the people who remove their hair, the word "bush" never appears without the word "big"..........

NerrSnerr · 04/12/2018 07:04

It's ridiculous to think that someone without pubes looks like a child (if I was to shave it all off I certainly wouldn't look like a child), but it's also ridiculous to say that pubic hair is unhygienic (but maybe not if someone says it feels unhygienic because that's how someone feels about themselves)

The thongs thing makes me laugh, not everyone wearing thongs will get thrush (the same as not everyone who uses bath bombs, washes their bits with shower gel etc etc). People seem adamant that when people do certain things they will get thrush. Not all of us as susceptible, I wear all sorts of knickers and wash with stuff and only had thrush once, when I was on IV antibiotics.

JacquesHammer · 04/12/2018 07:05

Fascinating how for the people who remove their hair, the word "bush" never appears without the word "big"..........

In the same way some people (I’m not going to make sweeping generalisations) who don’t remove their hair are so quick to say how awful hair free looks?

NerrSnerr · 04/12/2018 07:08

My friends, let that garden grow! Better for your vagina and the microbiome of your vulva and perineum to have hair. (Gentle trimming ok, but don't shave or wax or permanently remove.) It is there for a reason!

Or do what you want. That's the great thing about being an adult isn't it? Making choices about your body without someone telling you what to do!

Helmetbymidnight · 04/12/2018 07:54

Do what you want - but have the wit to realise ‘personal choices’ aren't made in a vacuum.
We are all a product of our times.

Gettingsomewhere · 04/12/2018 07:59

Saw this on Facebook weeks ago. Still laughing

TheDowagerCuntess · 04/12/2018 08:10

I don't watch porn.
*
I'm not pressured or expected to do anything by any man.
*
I'm a grown up who can make my own choices, one of which is to have all of my pubic hair removed..... because I prefer it that way.

And once again...

You, individual random, won't necessarily remove your public hair because of porn.

The cultural zeitgeist - the current fashion - for removing pubic hair comes from porn.

Stillwishihadabs · 04/12/2018 08:15

Think this is probably a generational divide. For those of us in our 40's we have spent 25 years having pubic hair, seeing it, having periods with it and having sex. To remove it completely would feel odd and yes child like. If pubic hair was removed as it grew of course you'd feel differently. I was looking at mine this morning, I think it's sexy, but again that's probably conditioning.

JennyRob20 · 04/12/2018 08:42

My friend started trimming after she found her first grey one....

WindinTheWillowsLover · 04/12/2018 08:52

The 'looks like a child' comments.

Again, this could be generational.

When I ask DP what he'd think if I got rid of mine, he says it would remind him of a child and he'd not like it . he likes my hair. It's soft and not a Big Bush.

I play devil's advocate- learning from MN!- and say I can't look like a child as I have breasts.

He still insists it would be child-like.

I know that this is a fashion but on the other hand maybe we are more conditioned in other ways to recognise secondary sexual characteristics (as they are called) and removing them goes against our instincts.

Pubes have a few purposes, biologically and in terms of evolution.

We have no other visible hair on our bodies, except our head ( again to protect it and retain heat) and armpits. Body hair is there not by an evolutionary oversight, but for a reason.

-To protect the area when we are sexually active/ more likely to be in contact with bacteria/friction

  • To signal to males we are mature women
  • To help trap pheromones which attract males

Yes, you can do with it what you wish, but stop kidding yourself it's cleaner because it's actually the opposite. More likely to get boils, spots, rashes and damage to your vulva.

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