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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not date someone because they smoke?

182 replies

aleohf · 01/12/2018 05:18

Really like a guy, everything about him is perfect. Known him years.

He has absolutely no intentions to stop smoking and smokes about 20 a day.

AIBU for this to ruin everything?

OP posts:
Thehop · 01/12/2018 13:13

No way on earth would I date a smoker 🤮

LeilaDarling · 02/12/2018 07:59

It’s a no from me.
Couldn’t physically bear the smell on their mouth, clothes, hands etc.

lily2403 · 02/12/2018 08:04

Deal breaker for me too

shiveringtimber · 02/12/2018 08:08

Ha! I used to smoke and my ex boyfriend, who had quit, told me that kissing me after I'd smoked was like kissing a cold ashtray.

maxthemartian · 02/12/2018 09:26

DH smoked, heavily, when I got together with him. Even in bed! I must have been nose-blinded by love as it didn't at all bother me. I was a social smoker myself back then though.

Now? Not a chance! He quit a few years back and I actually can't believe what we were okay with then. I now feel revolted just smelling it in the street, or if a smoker comes into my home with that horrible second-hand smoke smell on their clothes.

I'm glad I got together with DH though. He's lovely and now a non-smoker so win-win in the end.

BloodyBing · 02/12/2018 14:05

Deal breaker for me. Can't bear it. Same for my DH.

BlueJava · 02/12/2018 14:10

It would be a deal breaker for me - I couldn't face the smell.

EdWinchester · 02/12/2018 14:12

Bleurgh. No way would I date a smoker.

Can you imagine kissing him?

JustHereForThePooStories · 02/12/2018 14:13

YANBU

I couldn’t date a smoker. Ugh, the thought of disgusting cigarette breath first thing in the morning. Vile.

If my husband suddenly took up smoking, I’d seriously reconsider our relationship, I feel that strongly about it.

smackbangwhollop · 02/12/2018 15:51

I wcould never date a smoker, even if it was Mr Clooney himself 😭.
I've never smoked so I can't think of anything more disgusting than kissing one. 🤢

DownAndUnder · 02/12/2018 20:58

I smoke and remember asking an ex years ago how he could put up with the smell when he didn’t Grin he would occasionally smoke if out drunk etc though. Yanbu to not go out with someone for any reason no matter how minor.

SleepySofa · 02/12/2018 21:00

I’d never date a smoker. It would be like kissing an ashtray. Urgh. And imagine the smell.

Not to mention all the health issues.

User9870 · 02/12/2018 21:02

I wouldn't...I hate the smell. I've never smoked a cigarette so can smell of someone has been near a smoker and it makes me gag so a smoker is a no no for me.

Yesitwasmethistime · 02/12/2018 21:03

Would be a deal breaker for me.

limitedperiodonly · 03/12/2018 10:31

I actually can't believe what we were okay with then. I now feel revolted just smelling it in the street, or if a smoker comes into my home with that horrible second-hand smoke smell on their clothes.

Quite right. Kill them all before they die a lingering death of lung cancer or emphysema and cost the NHS squillions.

MilkyCuppa · 03/12/2018 10:38

Expensive and stinky, not to mention weak willed and clearly not bothered about his health. I couldn’t be with someone who had so little respect for himself and others, and wouldn’t waste my time on someone who will probably die young.

Knittink · 03/12/2018 10:43

YANBU. Deal breaker for me too. Revolting habit.

Yidette86 · 04/12/2018 05:51

My partner and I use to smoke but gave up, I gave up first and hated that the smell of it on him... You certainly notice it more when not smoking, thankfully he gave up but if he hadn't I wouldn't had ended things (we've been together since 16)

But, I do understand the hesitance, it smells terribly and I find it so disgusting, can't believe I use to do it.

AGHHHH · 04/12/2018 06:04

Yanbu it's disgusting.

Fireandflames666 · 04/12/2018 06:59

I could never date a smoker. It's a waste of money and everything they own smells vile, yuk.

limitedperiodonly · 04/12/2018 18:26

The smuggery and idiocy on this thread is par for the course for Mumsnet.

I've never smoked. I've dated a few smokers and though I didn't like it, if I really loved them and thought they were a good life partner I'd have married them.

I'd have hoped they'd give up because I wanted more time together but sometimes people have personal qualities that overcome their smoking habit.

I certainly would have said the twatty thing from one poster: 'I don't date stupid people.' ODFOD

limitedperiodonly · 04/12/2018 18:29

I certainly would have said the twatty thing from one poster: 'I don't date stupid people.' ODFOD

Wouldn't

EmeraldBookshelf · 04/12/2018 18:36

Well, limited, thankfully it’s not up to you who I date or marry.

selepele · 04/12/2018 18:51

no unreasonable
i dated a smoker recently slowly he asked to smoke in my house and would light up next to me, also in his car, horrible

limitedperiodonly · 04/12/2018 18:51

Well, limited, thankfully it’s not up to you who I date or marry

I'm not saying it is EmeraldBookshelf I'm saying that demonising people is not very nice or smart.

I don't smoke and neither does my husband. But if he did I might still choose to be with him for his other fine qualities. You have to consider it in the round. A non-smoker might be a really shitty person in other respects.

For instance, Hitler was a vegetarian

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