To think it’s rude to tell someone going into a bathroom you’re about to have a shower

[catlovingdoctor]

Got home after work and went to use the bathroom. Relative says from downstairs “I’m gonna have a shower now”. AIBU to think it’s a bit impolite/ almost trying to be controlling?

You are too old to be living with your mother and getting in the way of her relationship. Move out.

I think I get it. You have lived harmoniously with your mum for 20 years then her chap moved in and now he thinks he is man of the house and you have moved down the hierarchy. Or so he thinks.

Sound like a tosser.

Well, you sound old enough - move out?

Maybe he assumed you would be having a shower?

All you had to do was shout back downstairs "i won't be long" the same as if it was your mum who'd said it.

Time for you to move out anyway, you're a capable adult and there's no real unavoidable reason for you to still be living there.
Grow up and be an independent adult properly.

But he didn't tell you not to be long from what you say. He's just letting you know that he wants a shower soon because he's going out. I wouldn't shower until just before going out too, it's pointless Imo, especially if I'd just been to the yard etc.

From your OP, I thunk every ne extropolating that you dislike your 'step' father is correct.

What they probably mean is don't shit in there and make it stink.

It's never easy OP! It was just my DM and I until I was 16 and her boyfriend moved in. He wasn't even paying anything towards the house but saw fit to cause a mess and try and order me about. I just laughed in his face and now I barely speak to them. It can feel like there is a stranger living in your house if you don't have a relationship with him and it can be very intrusive if it was your space before. Everything changes. He put locks on all the doors to keep his stuff 'safe' which meant I only had access to the kitchen and living room during the daytime and couldn't access the office or any other rooms at all. I had to ask permission to use rooms in my own house! My DM used to shout at me for coming out of the bathroom in a towel because her boyfriend would see me. I can walk around my own house in a towel if I want to thank you very much😂 Glad that's over. Just think that hopefully soon you'll be moving out and you won't have to deal with him again!

I think I might have gone temporarily deaf at that moment and failed to hear him....

I Kind of get where OP was coming from - even if he was about to take a shower why shout up the stairs about it - OP got to the bathroom first so he'll have to wait. It does sound like there's a larger power play issue going on - like he's come in and instead of adapting to the house he moved in to is trying to establish himself as top dog.

Get a grip/your own place/both.

I do this to my dteens. The bathroom is a place of enigma. I get to see it occasionally and if I'm lucky even get the use of a fluffy towel.

They go in and disappear for a very long time. One will come out and the other goes in and they swap.....sheer madness.

I literally book a time slot and shout up if I hear them moving towards the bathroom....I shout up

This just seems like a non-problem to me

You sound about 12