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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s rude to tell someone going into a bathroom you’re about to have a shower

188 replies

catlovingdoctor · 30/11/2018 16:34

Got home after work and went to use the bathroom. Relative says from downstairs “I’m gonna have a shower now”. AIBU to think it’s a bit impolite/ almost trying to be controlling?

OP posts:
amusedbush · 30/11/2018 17:34

If I'm going for a shower I'll ask DH if he needs in to use the toilet beforehand because it's polite. I wouldn't, however, ambush him on his way into the bathroom to announce that I was having a shower.

And I do think it's a bit annoying that your step parents has been off work all day yet waited until you came home to have a shower. They had all afternoon to get ready.

MissingSummer · 30/11/2018 17:35

You still haven't said what you were planning on doing in there?! How long were you planning on being? I can only guess (seeing as you're being mysterious about it) that you were going to be a while, your step parent knew that do wanted to ensure they would have enough time to get ready to go out before you went in.

Rhiannon13 · 30/11/2018 17:37

I was living here for 20 years before they moved in.

Power struggle?

NinjaGoSaysNo · 30/11/2018 17:37

We have one bathroom and ask if anyone needs a quick pee before we go in to use the bath/shower or create an odour Wink

Brakebackcyclebot · 30/11/2018 17:40

This isn't really about this incident. This incident reflects something else going on with this relationship....

BollocksToBrexit · 30/11/2018 17:40

How long has the step parent lived there?

SpamChaudFroid · 30/11/2018 17:41

Perhaps to prevent this happening again you might "bagsy" the bathroom, using your towel to show the space is reserved. Like German tourists on holiday.

MaderiaCycle · 30/11/2018 17:43

Was it essentially “please don’t do a massive dump?”

Original poster
catlovingdoctor · 30/11/2018 17:45

If you need a “massive dump”, I should imagine it would be very uncomfortable to try and hold it in. I wouldn’t dream of making someone feel self conscious for it.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 30/11/2018 17:47

It might or might not be uncomfortable

Still, I can't see the harm in what was said.

How long have 'they' been married to your parent, OP?

Original poster
catlovingdoctor · 30/11/2018 17:47

I should think it might well be?

They aren’t married. Together around 5 years.

OP posts:
CaliHummers · 30/11/2018 17:49

Whether they are being unreasonable depends entirely on their tone and the state of your relationship. The words themselves are not unreasonable as they are just informing you of their intent.

This. In isolation it's impossible to say much about it. In my family, if there's limited bathroom access we just tell each other if we might be a while in the bathroom. So it could just be "heads up, I'm going out in a bit, I'd like a shower first so please don't be too long". Or it could be the start of all out bathroom wars.

WorraLiberty · 30/11/2018 17:50

It might be, it might not be...it doesn't matter because all 'they' said was "I'm gonna have a shower now".

Maybe they thought you were going to have a shave or something?

Seriously though, it's a non issue.

starandson · 30/11/2018 17:52

It just means “don’t be long, I need to go in there soon”, wouldn’t bother me.

MaisyPops · 30/11/2018 17:52

Either they're being a total PITA and think they can turn up when someone is in their late teens and play parent, or it could be as simple as a more polite way to say 'please open the window/put the fan on if you're taking a massive poop'.

We can't say either way.

LondonLassInTheCountry · 30/11/2018 17:55

They????

Why do you keep referring to the person as "They"

AcrossthePond55 · 30/11/2018 17:55

In this house, potty needs overrule shower needs. Although we have more than one loo so the problem doesn't usually arise.

But no matter who goes first, it behooves them to hurry the fuck up if they know someone is waiting.

user1473878824 · 30/11/2018 17:58

“Throwing their weight around” my god, they said they were going for a shower.

halfwitpicker · 30/11/2018 17:59

Such a non issue

Omunye · 30/11/2018 18:00

They were clearly just asking you to not take too long. If living with this person is affecting you to the point where such a harmless comment gets your back up you should probably start looking for a space of your own.

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 30/11/2018 18:00

I would have pretended I didn't hear, had my shower and maybe not used as much hot water as I might have done otherwise.

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/11/2018 18:01

Call a family meeting. Work out a bathroom rota.

Something’s got to be done. It’s an outrage.

CynthiaRothrock · 30/11/2018 18:01

In my house that would be code for 'please don't have a shit and stink the place out!' We are lucky that the house has a downstairs loo though.

loubluee · 30/11/2018 18:02

In our house the rule is you shout before going in the shower (so everyone can run and go before you get in!...... okay it’s only 4 of us but 🤷🏻‍♀️)

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 30/11/2018 18:02

In my house that would be code for 'please don't have a shit and stink the place out!'

This.