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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s rude to tell someone going into a bathroom you’re about to have a shower

188 replies

catlovingdoctor · 30/11/2018 16:34

Got home after work and went to use the bathroom. Relative says from downstairs “I’m gonna have a shower now”. AIBU to think it’s a bit impolite/ almost trying to be controlling?

OP posts:
lynnepot · 30/11/2018 17:14

I know someone who had a shower early evening and another family member made a point of going for a stinky shit just before they did

Wrong That sound like all out bathroom wars. Where there's a will there's a tactic I guess Grin

PerfectionistProcrastinator · 30/11/2018 17:17

YANBU

My mums partner moved in with her after being together 6 weeks. Got his feet in right under the table. Unapologetically clearing out my late fathers (admittedly messy) garage immediately and financially bringing nothing to the table himself.

I no longer lived in the house but it will always be my home...as I think a parents house ideally should be. If my mums partner said this to me I would be extremely irritated. I’d probably pretend not to hear and just go about my business to be honest!

SaucyJack · 30/11/2018 17:17

I believe the correct and mature response from you should have “You snooze, you lose”

Would be here anyway. No one gets to bagsy a bathroom if they’ve just been sat there all day and the person walking into it has just arrived home at their usual time.

Spiderdemon · 30/11/2018 17:17

I think we need to know what you thought the step parent meant. I can't fathom it right now.

InfiniteSheldon · 30/11/2018 17:19

Ynbu to use the toilet when you get home from work. The other person doesn't matter who they are, is unreasonable to wait till you get home from work for their shower.

BlackrockMum · 30/11/2018 17:19

lol in my house we do it all the time with eldest dd otherwise the bathroom is occupied for hours as she does the legs, and face pack and conditions hair all in preparation for big Friday night out, what's worse is she has her own shower but prefers family bath room as she can link her music into speakers, spread her potions out and the mirror doesn't fog up, so yes if we were home planning a shower anytime in next 2 hours and heard her heading to bathroom we'd let her know.

but equally she's big and bold enough to shout back you should have got there first!!

Ohyesiam · 30/11/2018 17:19

Yes it is rude if you add it to the back story that must exist.
He should have said” are you going to be long? I really need to get in the shower”.

Is there history of you taking ages in the bathroom?

Rachelle3211 · 30/11/2018 17:20

Maybe she thought you were going in to shower and she wanted to have one first? I don't get the issue? Just say you were going to be quick.

itswinetime · 30/11/2018 17:23

I'm my house that was considered polite especially as I used to take ages in the shower as a teenager. I would call out so people has a chance to use the bathroom before I went in.

JustHereForThePooStories · 30/11/2018 17:23

Yeah, this isn’t about the shower.

I take it you’re unhappy about them moving in, fullstop?

howabout · 30/11/2018 17:24

I suggested you might consider moving out because this level of reaction to a pretty common bathroom negotiation in most HH is OTT. I take it you don't have a couple of teenage sisters who would be almost guaranteed to say this every day on your return?

You really don't get dibs on the bathroom based on previous occupancy.

SpamChaudFroid · 30/11/2018 17:25

Bollox to you pissface, you snooze yer lose shouted gleefully to bathroom appropriating relative the only acceptable response, surely?

JaceLancs · 30/11/2018 17:26

In my house it would mean don’t flush!
I have one bathroom upstairs with toilet shower and bath and a downstairs cloakroom
If you were in the shower and someone in cloakroom flushed the sudden change in water supply could freeze or heat up power shower which would not be pleasant

grumiosmum · 30/11/2018 17:28

Sounds like the OP has an issue with the step-parent, rather than simply who's turn it is to use the bathroom.

pinkhorse · 30/11/2018 17:28

Maybe it's time to move out and get your own place then you'll have a bathroom all to yourself. I moved out of my parents at 19 and couldn't wait. I really don't understand people being happy living with parents when they're old enough to live alone. It would be my worst nightmare

Original poster
catlovingdoctor · 30/11/2018 17:28

They are going out for the evening, but to be fair had been off work all day.
They didn’t say it in a stroppy or aggressive tone but quite casually, as they heard me going towards it.

OP posts:
Anasnake · 30/11/2018 17:29

Total non issue

Escolar · 30/11/2018 17:29

OP, what is your relationship with your step parent like in other ways? This does seem like a small thing to get so upset about.

BertrandRussell · 30/11/2018 17:30

If there's only one bathroom then loo trumps bath or shower. Shower trumps bath.

Zofloramummy · 30/11/2018 17:31

Maybe they didn’t know you were just going to the toilet and thought you might be having a shower yourself? If so and they have a time that they need to be out by then that’s fair enough.

I must admit that if I’ve been off all day and am going out I wouldn’t shower earlier, I would wait until nearer the time so I’m nice and fresh.

Original poster
catlovingdoctor · 30/11/2018 17:32

If they wanted to have one first why didn’t they go ahead and do so? They were sitting watching telly

OP posts:
Biancadelriosback · 30/11/2018 17:32

Okaayyyy...... And?

sonjadog · 30/11/2018 17:32

This is normal in my house. There is only one bathroom and if you are planning on using it for more than a few minutes (i.e. have a shower), you tell the others so that if they want to do stuff in there first, then they can before you start. So to me, it sounds neither impolite nor controlling. It sounds like a completely normal interaction between people living in the same house.

WorraLiberty · 30/11/2018 17:34

They are going out for the evening, but to be fair had been off work all day.
They didn’t say it in a stroppy or aggressive tone but quite casually, as they heard me going towards it.

You posted this thread at 4.34 in the afternoon.

If I was going out for the evening, I wouldn't want a shower much earlier than that.

This is a total non issue

iklboo · 30/11/2018 17:34

If I'm going out in the evening I wouldn't have a shower during the day even if I was off. I'd have one as part of getting ready.