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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU Please read thread as it's a sensitive subject regarding sex

157 replies

Coldshoulders · 29/11/2018 16:07

So basically I am fwb with this guy n we have been meeting up a few times a week for a chill n some sex, no big deal. We both mutually understand that's all it is I do like him and he says he's likes me but we just have hot sex most of the time. One or two occasions I been over to see him and we haven't had sex which I didn't over think. Anyways my sensitive question is AIBU to question why I went over last night and for the first time he decided to go down on me? We never discussed it but I did consent when I realised where this was going and enjoyed myself. We then had sex and i went home. Question is he never has done that ever before and it was just so random but felt right. Is it just part of sex as I thort myself it's quite intimate and was unexpected and i have had fwb previous who never did that. I am just feeling abit confused and before people start ripping in to me i did consent and did enjoy it and i am prob just over thinking it but it is quite intimate and had me wondering wtf is going on and thankyou in advance for all ur replies x

OP posts:
HavelockVetinari · 29/11/2018 16:09

What?? Oral is a very normal part of sex! You're massively overthinking this.

Claw001 · 29/11/2018 16:12

I don’t think it means he loves you, if that’s what you are asking!

Coldshoulders · 29/11/2018 16:12

Yeh I guess u are right just asking coz he's never done that before n I was just surprised by it hahah x

OP posts:
Cranky17 · 29/11/2018 16:13

I think you want it to be more than Fwb so are hoping the intimacy of oral is more than fwb

Coldshoulders · 29/11/2018 16:13

I didn't ask if him going down on me means he loves me 😂 deffo wasn't asking that at all x

OP posts:
StoatofDisarray · 29/11/2018 16:14

TBH I wouldn't consider ANY sex without oral to be "hot sex" Wink I'm sorry your previous fwb partners never went down on you. All that's going on is that he wanted to give you pleasure, and if you enjoyed it, that's great!

Oysterbabe · 29/11/2018 16:14

Just a normal part of sex. It doesn't mean he wants more than FWB, he probably just fancied it.

Coldshoulders · 29/11/2018 16:15

I didn't mean for it to sound like I was asking if it means we are more then fwb I was just curious why he randomly went for it when he never did previously that's all I understand it's just a fuck buddy n I'm chilled with that think he just wanted to mix things up abit haha thanks people x

OP posts:
Blanchedupetitpois · 29/11/2018 16:16

Tbh it’s sad for you that it’s taken this long! It’s a totally normal part of sex. I would consider it much more weird if sex never involved oral.

masterandmargarita · 29/11/2018 16:17

Is this for real?!

CarrieBlu · 29/11/2018 16:17

How old are you OP? You sound young.

Coldshoulders · 29/11/2018 16:19

Well I have gave him oral more than once 🙊😂 but he never did it for me until last night in fact we never even spoken about it men usually get bjs I found it intimate for him to go down on me not complaining enjoyed myself only other person who went down was my ex partner was just wondering that's all haha xx

OP posts:
HashtagTeamRaven · 29/11/2018 16:20

Ooo is this an oral sex troll?

If not, OP relax and don't over think it.

Coldshoulders · 29/11/2018 16:20

I'm 26 n yeh this was a totally legit post with a legit question

OP posts:
GlassSuppers · 29/11/2018 16:20

What have I just read?!

Stop analysing it and just enjoy it!

Coldshoulders · 29/11/2018 16:28

I did enjoy myself I was simply just asking that's all as It never happened before and i wasn't expecting it but I'm not complaining ha x

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratcett · 29/11/2018 16:31

Well I have gave him oral more than once but he never did it for me until last night

And none of your previous FWB did either.

God men have got shit at sex in the last twenty years. I blame porn. When they were frantically rummaging through The Joy of Sex at least they were learning something. You deserve better sex. What is good for them is good for you.

Innocentconglomeration · 29/11/2018 16:40

MrsTerryPratcett you have just made me properly laugh, and be glad I'm of the "Joy of Sex" generation.

HestiaParthenos · 29/11/2018 16:44

Perhaps he read an article on how most men are bad in bed and wanted to improve? Who knows.

As long as you liked it, there's no problem, is there?

Quartz2208 · 29/11/2018 16:46

MrsTerryPratchett is right somewhere along the line it became all about the mans pleasure!

mirialis · 29/11/2018 16:46

Depressing.

He and your previous "FWB" blokes get lots of oral sex but you are so shocked you have to post on MN and ask "WTF is going on"? when a man finally returns the favour.

NettleTea · 29/11/2018 16:49

I agree with MrsTerryPratchett

If they aint going down, they aint getting in......

Given many women cant orgasm from penetration, if its FWB you need to be making sure that you are getting a good one in before he does. And him going down, assuming he sees it through to the end (NOTHING more frustrating than a man who starts a job they cant finish) pretty much ensures that the following sex IS going to be hot, and often prepares you for orgasms number 2 and 3.....

Oh god. Its not even sex Friday is it, and this is AIBU

I have a horrid feeling that FWB is all to the benefit of the men, with women thinking its hot because theyve performed all kinds of sexual acrobatics and the man has had a great time

Itsyersel · 29/11/2018 16:49

@Coldshoulders maybe he was bored and wanted something different...

Bluelady · 29/11/2018 16:51

What Mrs Pratchett said.

randomonhere · 29/11/2018 16:52

OP - you say you’re 26? You’re all super cool about “f buddies,” “no big deal,” etc etc - yet are surprised at oral sex. Confused What is the point of all this?