AIBU Please read thread as it's a sensitive subject regarding sex

[Coldshoulders]

So basically I am fwb with this guy n we have been meeting up a few times a week for a chill n some sex, no big deal. We both mutually understand that's all it is I do like him and he says he's likes me but we just have hot sex most of the time. One or two occasions I been over to see him and we haven't had sex which I didn't over think. Anyways my sensitive question is AIBU to question why I went over last night and for the first time he decided to go down on me? We never discussed it but I did consent when I realised where this was going and enjoyed myself. We then had sex and i went home. Question is he never has done that ever before and it was just so random but felt right. Is it just part of sex as I thort myself it's quite intimate and was unexpected and i have had fwb previous who never did that. I am just feeling abit confused and before people start ripping in to me i did consent and did enjoy it and i am prob just over thinking it but it is quite intimate and had me wondering wtf is going on and thankyou in advance for all ur replies x

@CarrieBlu lololol now you must read every response on this thread as if the posters are talking about 💩!

Oh god, whatsthepoints reply is amazing

YABU that you had sex without oral all this time

I'm not keen, I'll admit. I'm happy to give but I rarely come from receiving... I think I'm uptight. I get para about my fat stomach.

The rest of it though, I bounce about with gay abandon. It's weird.

Well this thread is a bit of an eye opener. The youth of today eh!

When I was younger FWB seemed to love giving head. Why has this stopped? What wrong with young men of today?

Oral sex is part of sex.

Admittedly I'm an old gimmer but I just don't get the fwb thing. I mean if you like someone as a person, enough to call them a friend, and enjoy sex with them then why not be in a proper relationship?

Because I don’t want a relationship. I do however want regular, good, safe sex. I’m not interested in being part of a couple etc.

Suits me down to the ground.

they normally do expect it yes. it seen as different if its a woman, sadly.

Not sadly. That should cause anger not sadness. How did we get to a point where feminism 'isn't needed' but male gratification is important and female isn't?

Google the orgasm gap for rage inducing statistics.

it’s seen as different sounds as though this is just some immutable fact. It doesn’t have to be seen as different and the fact that some men see it as different and are happy to receive but refuse to give should not just be accepted as ‘the way it is’. It’s not ok and it doesn’t have to be like that.

Oh OP.

Stop having "FWB" when you're quite obviously looking for love.

Mentioning the two times you went there and never had sex and asking about why he's suddenly into oral sex are you looking for signs he thinks more of you.

He doesn't.

He wants no strings sex.

Look elsewhere if you want a relationship.

Really, you’ve lost count of the men who won’t give oral but expect to receive oral?

Wow. That’s so grim.

So massive increase in anal- massive decrease in women getting oral. Hmm.

you were called names
when i was younger if you did it, which must have stuck with people, even friends now meet men that dont do it.

i dont count how many men ive slept with! i dont have a list put it that way.

People are called names for anything- I don’t believe for a moment that’s the issue.

If he wanted to go out with you he would ask you OP. Having said that I once had a FWB who declared love after about 3 years - once I'd met somebody else 🙄

I didn’t mean it’s grim you’ve lost count- I meant it’s grim you’ve come across so many men who weren’t interested.

How can you know a fwb is safe? They could be with every tom dick and harry-there's no feelings keeping you together properly

Because I know the guy so I’m not going out and pulling random people.

Because we always have safe sex.

It has nothing to do with name-calling; it’s the porn-fuelled narrative that has taken over sex now with depressing and scary results.

i think people are being abit unfair tbh ive been with lots of men who said they dont give oral

Why is that unfair? If I slept with a man who wouldn't give oral I wouldn't do it again, put it that way.

probably is porn, i can only say what happened when i was in school i even remember it being seen a disgusting then and you was called a certain name, its not a recent thing.

i meant unfair on the op. it is a thing that alot of men dont do.

@PeachCokeZero hear hear!

I also hate it. And it makes me feel very uncomfortable whenever I have been in that situation to tell them to stop because I dont like it (it comes with a suprised reaction)

But. Whatever floats your boat OP. I do think you are over thinking the situation.

Men not wanting to give oral, but expecting anal sex??? That's probably porn to blame as a pp said.

@Sandysman

Looks like a whelk, smells like a whelk, tastes like a whelk.

Does it now? You should see a doctor or pharmacist about that. Sounds like you may need some cream or anti biotics to clear up the issue......

Because mine certainly does not fit that description.

@peachcokezero

Bollocks. I'm old (nearly 40) and have had a lot of lovers. I have never, ever enjoyed being on the receiving end of oral sex from any of them. Some of them were 'good in bed' and very experienced. I just hate the feeling of it in every possible way.

WHY? If oral sex is given correctly to a woman, it is amazing. I am not getting how a woman doesn't enjoy it. It can only be horrible if it's not being done right.

'Nearly 40' isn't OLD by the way! You still have plenty of years ahead of you to find someone to give you good oral sex.........