AIBU Please read thread as it's a sensitive subject regarding sex

[Coldshoulders]

So basically I am fwb with this guy n we have been meeting up a few times a week for a chill n some sex, no big deal. We both mutually understand that's all it is I do like him and he says he's likes me but we just have hot sex most of the time. One or two occasions I been over to see him and we haven't had sex which I didn't over think. Anyways my sensitive question is AIBU to question why I went over last night and for the first time he decided to go down on me? We never discussed it but I did consent when I realised where this was going and enjoyed myself. We then had sex and i went home. Question is he never has done that ever before and it was just so random but felt right. Is it just part of sex as I thort myself it's quite intimate and was unexpected and i have had fwb previous who never did that. I am just feeling abit confused and before people start ripping in to me i did consent and did enjoy it and i am prob just over thinking it but it is quite intimate and had me wondering wtf is going on and thankyou in advance for all ur replies x

Once you can actually feel what's going on (instead of getting all the sensation of someone vaguely drooling through a woolly sock onto your vulva) you will never look back.

What? Maybe the guy in question just needs to improve his technique.

Women were having great oral sex well before the fashion of complete hair removal came about.

Love it, NotTheFordType

Also find this depressing.

So many women - especially younger women - who have this oh so great FWB set up. So great that they can’t even talk to the person they’re fucking. Where’s the “F”, OP?

No-one on the bloody internet can give you a better answer than “hey, that was a first - what put you in the mind for that?”

Could simply be he’s started someone else too, and she has higher expectations for herself - suggested it, he got positive feedback from her, so he thought he’d see how you reacted. Porn generation boy learnt a new trick, is all.

God men have got shit at sex in the last twenty years.

Meh; I can't argue against that as a principle, but I'd suggest this isn't a failing of all men... I'm 28 and whilst there definitely are men who learnt everything they know from porn and probably couldn't identify an orgasm if it bit them; there's good ones who put effort in and do oral too!

MrsTerryPratchett, as she so often does, has addressed the salient points.
And, yes indeedy, TheDowagerCuntess.
This thread will probably be overrun in short order by posters who hate oral sex and love a good unlubed cock up the swiss. The point though is not really about whether oral sex, anal sex or any other sex act is a universal thing women love. There is no such thing. The point is that the OP is very shocked that her sexual partner did something which many women do love (and have loved for a long time, even when we all had luxuriant minges), is essentially all about the female partner's pleasure, and which would always have been in the repertoire of a good lover who wished to please. If DH ever dumps my arse, I will be single forever rather than chancing my arm (or any other bit) on casual sex in a 24-hour accessible porn world.

I get where your coming from.

If had plenty of fwb and never let them go down on me, I find it personal and I have to trust them a lot to have it done.

Buy ibdont think It means anything

Why are you having sex with men who don't want to go down on you?!

This is the best thing about being nearly middle aged. My FWBs are truly hot sex because we talk about what we want to try, have no embarrassment and just fucking go for it. I cringe when I remember sex in my early twenties. I was embarrassed to ask for anything certainly would never have asked for or expected oral. Raise your standards love!

I used to think receiving oral sex was pointless. Then I started shaving my pubes. JESUS H CHRIST ON A MOTORCYCLE. Once you can actually feel what's going on (instead of getting all the sensation of someone vaguely drooling through a woolly sock onto your vulva) you will never look back.

Could not agree more! Ironically, as my feminism has got more radical and second wave my fanny has got balder. It really propels oral from hmmm to OMFFFGGGFGGG^###>^++¥ seeing stars

Why are people objecting to getting ‘intimate’ and ‘personal’ with someone they are having sex with??? It’s an intimate and personal act in itself, surely.

And why, oh why, are blow jobs not so intimate that they can never be performed on fwb??

captain I guess it's how you see things.

For example kissing to me is very initamit to me, if I was to have a 3sum with my partner i could deal with seeing them having sex but kissing would upset me.

Prob makes no sense

I agree with @Notthefordtype about how oral sex is waaaaaay better when you have shaved your minge. And it's nothing to do with 'the technique' or that man needing to learn how to do it properly. It was good with pubes, but OMG it's better without pubes. The sensations are completely different. You feel things yourself that you don't feel when you have a hairy box.

Also agree with @CaptainBrickbeard - since the advent of easy-to-get porn, men automatically expect anal sex, and many of the younger generation think it's a given that they have to do it. I have tried it a couple of times, and loathed it. When I told DH (after the second time) that I never wanted to do with it again, he was fine with it. We were both curious, and both wanted to try it, but I hated it. He said it was OK, but didn't care if he ever did it again. Like you captain I find it very hard to believe women really enjoy anal sex.

Agree with @Valanice1989 that FWB seems to benefit men a lot more than women, because most women in FWB situations like to believe (deep down) that their FWB secretly loves them, and they will waltz off into the sunset together like in a cheesy romcom. The reality is that it is very unlikely that this will happen. I bet you never get men on message forums asking if their female FWB really likes him and wants to get serious with him.

Men are just happy to get regular fucking with no commitment. Women may be to start with, but not long term ... (Whether they admit it or not, many women in these situations, want commitment, a lot more the than men do...)

MEN HAVE TOTALLY HOT SHIT AT SEX!!!

Sorry to shout but this is massively masssively true. OP oral is sex, there isn’t oral and then separately sex.

Looks like a whelk, smells like a whelk, tastes like a whelk.

Admittedly I'm an old gimmer but I just don't get the fwb thing. I mean if you like someone as a person, enough to call them a friend, and enjoy sex with them then why not be in a proper relationship?

I've had casual sex type relationships, but only with people who were a bit of a dick in some way but hot enough for me to overlook that. If they were actually nice I'd be wanting to be in a relationship with them.

Hmm, thinking about it, I probably started with DH a bit like that and we started seriously seeing each other when I realised he wasn't really a dick.

I refuse to go to bed with a man unless he’s going down on me.

So do you confirm this before you actually get into bed Chesty?

@Balaboosteh

I'm sorry but if a man's having a hot shit there's no fucking way I'm going near him.

i think people are being abit unfair tbh ive been with lots of men who said they dont give oral.

I can confirm that my man has never shat himself at the point of coitus.

whatsthepointthen - so they expect to receive it though??

I mean, do they expect to receive it?

I've been with lots of men who said they dont give oral.

How many is lots?

I couldn’t be bothered with that kind of attitude.

FUXAKE CAN YOU ALL STOP WITH THE SHIT TXTSPK?!

ive lost count 😅 but its only been done by one man. they normally do expect it yes. it seen as different if its a woman, sadly.

BobLemon I’m trying to get my toddler to sleep and now I’m silently shaking with laughter.

WHAT is the point of a FWB if you aren't getting decent sex? It is the one and only purpose of FWB, and you are shocked that he's bothered himself pleasuring you? Your standards are too low. And you've been going down on him without him reciprocating!! Cheeky little bastard!