To not sleep with my husband because I hate his moustache?

[creepymoustache]

DH has been working away for months. He recently came home for 2 weeks leave with a moustache. He knows my feelings about facial hair. I don't mind moustaches so long as I don't need to go anywhere near them but the thought of kissing him or doing anything more with it on his face literally repulsed me. I normally find DH extremely attractive but I just couldn't see past it.

I had friends over at the weekend and I told them that I hadn't had sex with DH when he was home because I can't bare the moustache. They couldn't believe this since he was gone for months and is now gone for months again. It's left me wondering. Was I BU? Should I have just pretended it wasn't there or can anyone relate? Is anyone similarly turned off by facial hair or is it just me who has this problem?

My good friends dh grew a beard for a bet which she hated so she made him put a paper bag on his head when they were having sex 😂😂

HPa 'tache alters how you look and feel.To someone who has an aversion to them, it's a pretty radical change. It's not really comparable to evolving style of clothing. Although, I guess that if someone started dating a person who was the smart suit type and they turned into a scruffy goth, their desire might legitimately ebb a bit!
I'm not saying people must always remain the same, of course that's impossible. But facial hair, or lack of, is something people do have control over. It's not like ageing.
I don't know why someone would deliberately cultivate something their partner finds repulsive.

If you didn't want to sleep with your DH you should not have slept with him. Simple as that. Your reasons don't matter. You don't owe him sex.

I'm honestly so shocked by how many people think you basically have to have sex with your husband just because he's your husband, even if you don't find them attractive. You just have to do it regardless. That doesn't sit right with me.

A couple of people have questioned, what would you do if your husband started wearing dresses/ makeup? What if they went from dressing very smartly to being a scruffy goth? Would that affect whether you'd be attracted to them? I think these are good comparisons. Luckily DH will shaving and our sex life will be back to normal when I next see him. I stand by the fact I think it was a little selfish of him not to shave. He already had 4 months which I think was long enough. But I do respect the fact that isn't the choice he made and he's entitled to do what he wants with his own body. Equally it's my choice whether I have sex with someone and that's not something I'm prepared to do with someone who's face turns my stomach. Regardless of whether he's my husband or not.

You're not really a 'in sickness and health' sort of person are you OP?
What if your DH had cancer and had surgery or had alopecia and all his body hair fell out. What would you do then? I had a mastectomy and DH didn't refuse to have sex with me. Would you?

You're not really a 'in sickness and health' sort of person are you OP?
What if your DH had cancer and had surgery or had alopecia and all his body hair fell out. What would you do then? I had a mastectomy and DH didn't refuse to have sex with me. Would you?

So you're comparing my husband choosing to grow a moustache to someone's appearance changing as a result of cancer??? These are two very, very different scenarios. Sorry to hear about your mastectomy. I've met many women who have been through that in a previous job of mine. I would offer nothing but support, love & affection to my husband should he ever be in similar circumstances.

My husband has chosen to grow this moustache despite the fact they make me feel sick. That's very different to his appearance changing due to ill health.

sickness and in health

Ah this thread is pure gold man, beautiful

Tbh I still think the weirdest thing here is a person choosing a moustache over sex, after 4 months!!

Tbh I still think the weirdest thing here is a person choosing a moustache over sex, after 4 months!!

Yes, agreed!

I'm with you, OP. To me a mustache changes the look of a mans face, plus the different feel of it, and as much as people can call you fickle or shallow, we can't help what we're attracted to. This isn't something that's been forced on him that he can't change, he could literally remove it easily in 5 mins, no big deal. YANBU.

derxa that has to be one of the most dumb arse posts I've ever read.

Because I know so many of you are invested in this thread, this is the style of moustache 🤢🤢🤢

Not read everything. Did your DH care? If not are you not bothered by that?

Not read everything. Did your DH care? If not are you not bothered by that?

DH kept apologising profusely but assuring me it's only this once and I'll never have to see him with a moustache again. He tried to be intimate with me a few times and I had to turn him down. I do wonder if he maybe thought I would change my mind but I feel too strongly about it. I just couldn't.

derxa that has to be one of the most dumb arse posts I've ever read.
Really? You haven't been on MN for very long.

Is the DH doing Movember? I don't think traumatic body changes due to illness are 'dumbarse'.

Wow. The man in the picture is a good looking guy but I wouldn't go near him with that moustache, it's awful. Imagine someone kissing you with that. Just no way.
I wouldn't have avoided sex entirely in your circumstances though OP - did you not think to turn off the lights?

So shallow

I love facial hair and when DH occasionally cuts his really short I hate it.

Thankfully it only takes a few days for it to grow nice again.

If I was actually repulsed by something I wouldn't be able to have sex either. There is a difference between not really liking something and feeling repulsed by it.

Comparing the two is dumb arse though derxa.

Got to say, 4 months with no sex, I'd be turning the lights down or doing it doggy style if it bothered me that much - no way could I keep my hands of my DH if I hadn't seem him for 4 months And we've been married for over 25 years - still fancy the bones of the man.

Comparing the two is dumb arse though derxa I can't believe I'm engaging in this conversation. I love my Dh no matter what he looks like.

That's a fine mustache, but it wouldn't be going anywhere near me either. It's deeply unsexy and I don't like the feeling either.

I was going to tell you YABVVVU but actually that moustache is more than a moustache. It is the hallmark of a wanker, I couldn't shag a man with one of them either.

Was he twirling it around like a cartoon villain as well? I imagine that watching someone do that is the same as when DH starts pulling at his skin on his face and stretching it, I have to leave the room.