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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not sleep with my husband because I hate his moustache?

281 replies

creepymoustache · 28/11/2018 23:00

DH has been working away for months. He recently came home for 2 weeks leave with a moustache. He knows my feelings about facial hair. I don't mind moustaches so long as I don't need to go anywhere near them but the thought of kissing him or doing anything more with it on his face literally repulsed me. I normally find DH extremely attractive but I just couldn't see past it.

I had friends over at the weekend and I told them that I hadn't had sex with DH when he was home because I can't bare the moustache. They couldn't believe this since he was gone for months and is now gone for months again. It's left me wondering. Was I BU? Should I have just pretended it wasn't there or can anyone relate? Is anyone similarly turned off by facial hair or is it just me who has this problem?

OP posts:
Original poster
creepymoustache · 28/11/2018 23:23

What does he think is going to happen to it in the next two months?

I honestly have no idea!

OP posts:
Original poster
creepymoustache · 28/11/2018 23:26

I think a lot of people on this thread are forgetting the importance of being physically attracted to someone and them drastically changing their appearance can be detrimental to a relationship.

Put it this way, if your DH gained 25 stone, would you still want to sleep with him? Maybe some of you would, maybe some of you wouldn't. I'm not saying a moustache is as severe as this but to me it is unfortunately a deal breaker because of my issues with facial hair.

OP posts:
grincheux · 28/11/2018 23:36

This reply has been deleted

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Bigonesmallone3 · 28/11/2018 23:44

Wow.. a deal breaker.. so u would divorce him coz he has a tache?

Sethis · 28/11/2018 23:50

Maybe a missed opportunity for a blindfold and a bit of light bondage?

I was going down on my DP once and she made me stop and change my parting because she couldn't stand looking down on it. Kept going afterwards though...

MistressDeeCee · 28/11/2018 23:58

I was going down on my DP once and she made me stop and change my parting because she couldn't stand looking down on it. Kept going afterwards though...

WHAT?!

Oral hairdo etiquette...I live and learn. Did you go full bouffant then Sethis ?

😂😂😂

I love this thread it's cheering up my late working hours

(Sorry about your hair phobia tho OP)

CaptainCabinets · 29/11/2018 00:08

Wow, you sound like a massive control freak. Get over yourself

DarklyDreamingDexter · 29/11/2018 00:54

I totally understand your point of view. I've told my DP if he ever wants to break up, he only has to grow a beard/moustache and I'll know! No words needed! You can't help it if you don't find it attractive. If he wants sex again anytime soon he'd better get the razor out. I know it's natural, blah blah but I don't find facial hair the least bit attractive either.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 29/11/2018 01:06

My DH grew a short beard a few years ago and still has it. I don't like it, never have, but I've got used to it and accept that it's part of who he is now. I still love the man behind the beard. Grin

I agree that he could shave it off for your sake, but it's abit unkind not to let him keep it if he really wants to. Would you want him telling you that you have to style your hair a certain way - or he won't find you attractive? Personally, I'd let it go, he may get sick of it soon.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/11/2018 02:31

You equate a bit of facial hair with gaining a massive amount of weight? What if your husband said he wouldn't have sex with you unless every bit of your pubic hair was removed? You seem positively miserable to deal with. Congratulations for damaging your marriage.

Time40 · 29/11/2018 03:00

No, UANU. I wouldn't either.

winteryslippers · 29/11/2018 03:01

Those who say you should have closed your eyes and think of Britain are living in the 1950's !!!

If your husband valued intimacy with you then he would have shaved off the bloody thing!

Of course you were right to refuse to have sex with him if he made you feel nauseas,
If he wanted a moustache more than intimacy with you then he made a very strange choice.

Geez some women on here are so Stepford that it gives women a bad name!!!

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 29/11/2018 03:08

I understand op

My dh has a beard too and I hate it. Like you it makes me feel sick and I don't want to kiss him Sad I think it's that I always think of the twits and all the food in Mr twits beard Envy

I have told him I really don't like it but he does so now we just have less sex and we are at a stalemate as he won't shave it off

Whisky2014 · 29/11/2018 03:37

How did you not see it even for 4 months he eas awaty? Do you not send photos or Skype?

Anyhoo yanbu it's up to you who and when to have sex.

Original poster
creepymoustache · 29/11/2018 06:29

How did you not see it even for 4 months he eas awaty? Do you not send photos or Skype?

I did see it on FaceTime etc. He knew how I felt about it.

OP posts:
Solasum · 29/11/2018 06:36

I agree with you OP. I hate facial hair and simply don’t understand why so many men are embracing it at the moment. With my last boyfriend I honestly think the growing of a beard was the death knell. Being kissed with a beard just makes me think of the Twits

Sirzy · 29/11/2018 06:41

So from some people on this thread woman should (rightly so) be respected in what they want to do with there body but men need to keep them how the woman wants!

Limpetry · 29/11/2018 06:44

Angel Adorée, is this you? Grin

Hohocabbage · 29/11/2018 06:49

Dh has a beard and I think it looks attractive but kissing him through it is hard and kind of makes me feel I’m kissing a woman’s fanjo, which isn’t something I’ve ever wanted to do! I think if he just trimmed it back even if would be better, it kind of hangs over his mouth and I can’t feel his lips Sad

Alfie190 · 29/11/2018 07:04

I agree with you OP. All he had to do was shave it off.

BucketLid · 29/11/2018 07:13

Close your eyes!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 29/11/2018 07:38

I think a lot of people on this thread are forgetting the importance of being physically attracted to someone and them drastically changing their appearance can be detrimental to a relationship.

If he knows this and he did it anyway; I'd be concerned about why he needs to continue growing it for two months. Honestly; seeing how good it can get in two months shouldn't be worth more to him than you finding him attractive and bonding again whilst he's back.

I am quite scared of moustaches. I find them creepy. I quite like DP's stubbly beard but probably wouldn't if it turned into a long scary beard and I wouldn't be a fan or him growing a moustache. I'm almost certain that he wouldn't dream of doing it; like I wouldn't dream of doing anything that would majorly put him off me.

HumptyNumptyNooNoo · 29/11/2018 07:40

"Get yourself a fake one for his next return. .."
This is such a great idea !

Knitwit101 · 29/11/2018 07:46

I hate my dh's beard. We haven't kissed properly in months. Probably longer. We still have sex, just no face touching. I can't stand it. But he loves not having to shave after years of shaving every day so I think it's staying.
I'm can't tell you how much I hate it. I hate when he touches it, rubs it between his fingers, I just hate it.

explodingkitten · 29/11/2018 07:49

I have an ugly husband. I still love him and I like the feeling of sex. I wonder how you see the future if you can only have sex if you like the look of someone. He will go grey or bald, wrinkly and get one of those flat hanging bums. To me a person is more than just the outside.

Having said that, you don't have to have sex if you don't want to, regardless of the reason.

Having said that I wouldn't be surprised if your DH will stray or leave you in the future if he can't have sex ever.

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