AIBU: To be upset with what my mother did?

[PrettyPurplePanda]

Hello!

I'll get straight to it, I really wanted the set of "Kevin the carrot" soft toys, I showed my mother the ALDI advert and she said she wanted them too, so when it got closer to the release date I asked her if she'd like for me to buy them for her as a Christmas present (my mother is hard to buy for, no food or drink, no clothes, jewelry, candles, accessories ect ect) so she said yes!!!

Great! A Christmas gift I know she will like, so on November 22nd midnight, me and my partner fought online to purchase them, one set for me and one set for my mother, after 4 long hours we finally got them! success I thought, next day delivery and I had messaged her straight away saying I had got them (so she knew she didn't have to hunt them down herself)

Now, today she messaged me, the usual "hi, how are you" ect, and then she messaged "I have a confession to make, I bought a set of the Kevin the carrots yesterday, I love them" . . .

At this point I had broke down into tears, not of sadness, but of frustration, my mother knew I had already bought her a set for Christmas, but went out and got a set anyway . . .

I don't have much money, my mother knows this, when I had explained this to her and the effort I went to get them so I didn't run the risk of going in store to find they had sold out, all I got back was "it's not a big deal, I'll sell one set if it bothers you that much", meaning she will sell the set I give her as mine still have the tags on...

So here are the things I'm asking if I'm being unreasonable about:

1. AIBU for being upset/mad/frustrated with my mother over this?
2. AIBU for telling her how what she has done makes me feel?
3. Would IBU to not give her the set I have bought, seeing as she already has them?
4. Would IBU to not buy a replacement gift? (If I was to buy her another gift or gifts, it means I have to take more money out of what little savings I have)
5. Would IBU to sell the second set to get my money back? (I have no need for 2 sets and don't know anyone who I could give them to, plus the extra money could go back into my savings)

The Kevin carrot set isn't the only gifts I had gotten my mother so she wont go without a present, no matter how mad I am at her I wouldn't dream of being that spiteful.

Make an agreement not to buy Christmas presents for adults in the family. It’s adding to the tat mountain. Do a secret Santa or make a donation to charity.

I can't relate to this at all as I can't stand soft toys.

Give the cuddly carrots to the food bank.

What is happening here? Have you posted this just to get people to come to you to buy them?

It is pretty transparent

OP there are bloody loads about this year, loads. Our local store is swimming in them, it's not going to be like last year.

Thank you, it truly is frustrating!

Is something bigger at play here? Do you often feel belittled or infantilised by her? It sounds like you go to a lot of effort for her presents for her to be quite obviously demonstrating they are "wrong" in some way. Does this happen with other aspects?

I would sell them and then buy her something generic eg toiletries or something from tk max and don't put so much emotion into it, accept it will be wrong.

Then buy yourself something nice

The solution is simple- sell the carrots on eBay, and give your mother a gift-wrapped stick. She won't have bought one of those already so she should be delighted!

Honestly the site crashed thousands of times because hundreds of thousands of people were trying to purchase online, all sold out within a few hours.

Can someone explain this Kevin the carrot stuff to me? I think it's passed me by.

People are so bloody rude. They might not be your thing and you may well think they’re ridiculous, but the point of this isn’t the bloody carrots. It could have been anything- jewellery, a phone.... ANYTHING. The point is that the OP asked her if her incredibly hard to buy for mother would like X, mother says yes, OP buys X, tells mother and then mother buys herself X anyway. I don’t think she’s unreasonable to be pissed off that her mother deliberately bought what she already knew her daughter has purchased for her just because she couldn’t wait. I’d have been upset too and yes, I’d probably have cried out of sheer frustration at what she’s done (although I might well be hormonal.....!).

OP YANBU. I’d return/sell them and not get her anything else. Tell her it was all you could think of to buy for her and she knew that. Since she bought them herself out of impatience you haven’t now managed to get anything else as you know she wouldn’t have liked whatever else you’d have chosen anyway.

Thank you, honestly I have no idea what to get her but god forbid if I didn't get her "much"

OP I'll give you £500 for the set!!!! I'll pay for postage and packaging too!!! PLEASE PM ME!!!!

It is a bit annoying, but definitely not to the extent that you should be crying over it. You seem to be complaining about being short of money but don't want to sell at a profit. This is a business sense that indicates you may always be short of money ... sell for the going rate!

WTF is Kevin the Carrot?

I would never request a gift, know the person had bought it and just went and got it myself, especially if it's an item you don't need two of

It’s an item you don’t need one of...

Yes, so if the item in question is £3.99 and postage is £1.39 i'd ask for £5.38

And you joined MN just to post this or indeed name-changed for this apparent drama with your mother?

This is so transparent it's embarrassing, even more embarrassing than the fake drama you've created about your mother.

You don’t usually need the invoice to return online purchases, just contact them and ask how to return and they’ll probably send a return note.

All this fuss over a set of fluffy carrots.

What is happening here? Have you posted this just to get people to come to you to buy them?

Exactly what I thought when I read this!
My local store had loads of them in yesterday. I’m glad the people round here seem to have more sense than to fight over them!

Honestly the site crashed thousands of times because hundreds of thousands of people were trying to purchase online, all sold out within a few hours

This is nuts. Hundreds of thousands of people online at 2 am when there are loads in store?

Carrots make people crazy

I don't get the carrots, but can understand why you were upset with your mum

It sounds like you have quite a dysfunctional relationship with your mum.

She knew you were buying her this for Xmas, so it is bloody weird for her to buy it herself.

I think you should just give it to her anyway and nothing else.

And then work out a way of detaching yourself from the emotional rollercoaster you seem to be on with her.

Looks like their marketing scheme has got you good then! Businesses tend to do this at Christmas because people will buy anything if it's got 'hype' to it and children generally want everything. Chuck a couple tear jerking adverts on TV, make some soft toys in China for 20p a pop, sell them for £10 each or whatever and you're in the money! Can't believe people still buy into this crap. Yes it's lovely if your child really wants one but when you're an adult please spend money on more sensible things or donate it to charity if you have it to spare.

Thank you Pattern even if I was to get something else, I have no idea what.

I'm surprised John Lewis haven't jumped on the bandwagon and tried with Elton John plushies although they would probably look terrifying. They'd definitely make some serious cash!😂