AIBU: To be upset with what my mother did?

[PrettyPurplePanda]

Hello!

I'll get straight to it, I really wanted the set of "Kevin the carrot" soft toys, I showed my mother the ALDI advert and she said she wanted them too, so when it got closer to the release date I asked her if she'd like for me to buy them for her as a Christmas present (my mother is hard to buy for, no food or drink, no clothes, jewelry, candles, accessories ect ect) so she said yes!!!

Great! A Christmas gift I know she will like, so on November 22nd midnight, me and my partner fought online to purchase them, one set for me and one set for my mother, after 4 long hours we finally got them! success I thought, next day delivery and I had messaged her straight away saying I had got them (so she knew she didn't have to hunt them down herself)

Now, today she messaged me, the usual "hi, how are you" ect, and then she messaged "I have a confession to make, I bought a set of the Kevin the carrots yesterday, I love them" . . .

At this point I had broke down into tears, not of sadness, but of frustration, my mother knew I had already bought her a set for Christmas, but went out and got a set anyway . . .

I don't have much money, my mother knows this, when I had explained this to her and the effort I went to get them so I didn't run the risk of going in store to find they had sold out, all I got back was "it's not a big deal, I'll sell one set if it bothers you that much", meaning she will sell the set I give her as mine still have the tags on...

So here are the things I'm asking if I'm being unreasonable about:

1. AIBU for being upset/mad/frustrated with my mother over this?
2. AIBU for telling her how what she has done makes me feel?
3. Would IBU to not give her the set I have bought, seeing as she already has them?
4. Would IBU to not buy a replacement gift? (If I was to buy her another gift or gifts, it means I have to take more money out of what little savings I have)
5. Would IBU to sell the second set to get my money back? (I have no need for 2 sets and don't know anyone who I could give them to, plus the extra money could go back into my savings)

The Kevin carrot set isn't the only gifts I had gotten my mother so she wont go without a present, no matter how mad I am at her I wouldn't dream of being that spiteful.

OP- you need to stop worrying so much, give her a bottle of prosecco and chocolates. If you get them back, it’s fine. Or if you really have to stick to that ridiculous list - then gift card? And don’t buy too much just because you think she’ll criticise you, just think whatever I get isn’t good enough so I’m not spending too much.
And again, don’t worry so much, if she can re-gift the scarf you gave her, then re-gift it back. She clearly doesn’t care the same way you do.

I’m not sure what Kevin the carrot is. I’m afraid to google it in case it’s a sex toy.

I understand OP! It’s very upsetting when people don’t act respectfully and treat you how you would treat them. You went to a lot of trouble and felt good about getting them! And then your mum completely disregarded this which was hurtful. I hate this kind of behaviour and would probably cry too. I would explain to your mum how dissapointed you are as you were excited to give them to her and she ruined it. Then don’t give them to her as they are tainted now. Hope it sorts itself out OP

You’re safe enough Zippey, I just googled it and I won’t be having sex with it anytime soon 😂

Weird thread. Why make fun of the OP over the carrots? The carrots aren't the point. Say it's one of those shite pandora charms everyone buys each other. Same idea. It was rude.

I think people have been unecessarily harsh to you OP.

Yes it’s just cuddly toys, but it’s not what the gift is, it’s the principal.

You bought your mother a gift for Xmas with what little money you have and she went and bought it for herself knowing full well you had already spent money on it.

I wouldn’t give her that set. I’d sell it on eBay and make your money back.

You carrot be serious 😂🥕

Is this real??

It's not about the carrots, it's about the relationship that you ahve with your mother - which is unhealthy

Sell the set that you bought, if you can get a good price for them

Buy her a gift card for the amount that you spent initially

Forget about it

I understand your frustration, but sell them, make a profit and get your mum something else that’s nice & a bit more expensive.

Sell them on ebay, then thank your DM effusively for enabling you to make a huge profit (even if you don't make a profit!). She will hate that.

Of course, you're upset - she's clearly setting you up to fail.

Your own Mother.

It's horribly upsetting to be faced with incontrovertible evidence your own fucking Mother is fucking with you for kicks.

On purpose.

I mean, the enormity of that, well, it's a lot...

In the long run I hope this is a catalyst to you putting a lot of distance, even if that's emotional distance between you and this toxic behaviour.

It feels like she gets kicks from controlling you - Google FOG and get your arse over to Stately Homes in relationships.

Maybe google co-dependancy.

Oh yeah, if you can sell for a glorious profit, or even just your money back, and send her a card.
She'll make sure she will try to make you feel shit about whatever you get for her so, why enable that.

Hope you have a lovely Christmas.

10 pages about cheap carrots?

Most of you people are fucking bitches! I'd be upset too, when I buy a gift I put a lot of thought into it like you. Maybe gift the spare to someone else. P.s I have loads of soft toys.

Candlemist Don't worry, it made sense, but sadly that's not the case here.

I bought them on the 22nd, received on the 23rd, inspect them and messaged her that day that they had come in the post, and only today told me she had purchased them the 24th, so she knew and still bought them.

There's no way she could have bought them on the 24th....

Ha ha ha, this is the first I’ve heard about this malarkey but it’s pretty funny.

Get them on eBay, that’ll cheer you up

First world problems

OP, glad you have found the thread useful, but a few people have asked if you have the email from when you placed the order? You almost always have to have an email address to place the order.

Sell them on eBay!! You never know you might get a profit!! My mother was is always a difficult ladie to buy for so I just use to take her out for afternoon tea twice a year once for Xmas once for her birthday it was our two special afternoons together a year just her and me no siblings no kids or husbands !! just the two of us having a posh afternoon tea. As you are a bit short on money you could look at Groupon for a good deal!! But any way you sound like a lovely daughter please don’t get upset about Christmas presents your mother loves you!! not what you buy her I know I would not want my kids getting into debt to buy Xmas presents. CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR LOVED ONES NOT WHAT U GET IN GIFTS FROM THEM

First world problem. You can’t be real.

It is hilarious topic choice, the Kevin 🥕.

But as ever it's not about Kev, it could be any item.
It's her relationship with you. Some people can't get inference or have no deeper understanding and that's lucky for them, they must have open good non toxic people in their lives. Unfortunately some of us do get this stuff.

www.thesun.co.uk/money/7827656/aldi-giant-kevin-carrot-toy-hundreds-pounds-ebay/amp/!!!
Sell the one you bought !!!

@SirGawain yes I am.

Seriously can you all not read? I've never seen such a rude group of people! The post isn't about the bloody carrots ffs!! It's about the mother being a complete and udder wench and completely disrespecting the op. To the op I've got the same type of mom my heart goes out to you