Moral Dilemma - to sell this and pocket the cash?

[PersonaNonGarter]

I have a moral dilemma.

A Sponging Relative (‘SR’) has run up so much debt that he has finally been evicted from his property and is likely to be made bankrupt shortly. He is also a massive hoarder. Recently, my aunt went to visit SR and suggested he part with some toys rather than pack them before eviction. The toys were given to my DC.

The toys turn out to be worth a lot of money and I will sell them rather than have them take up space - DC aren’t going to play with them. Should I :

1. Pocket the cash and give it to my DC on some way like a holiday
2. Give it to the very skint SR
3. Give the cash to some of the people SR has sponged off.

He doesn’t sponge off me although he has tried. In law, I know they were a gift and are mine/DCs. But morally...?

3 and 1

3

1 or 3

3 and maybe 1 if you are hard up yourself or SR sponges off you

2

1 and 3 x

3

Aunt has been a bit sponged off but is not the main creditor by a very long way. Many ££££s have gone to SR and that is never coming back.

I don’t really feel like paying the landlord who is owed £Ks.

Why is he in such an awful situation? It suggests mental health or abuse issues and if he is now trying to get on his feet I would give it to him.

But are you in touch with his debtors? (3) if so then that

1

He's never sponged off you but you know he's being made bankrupt and have gained some of his possessions that are actually worth money and you want to keep it. That's outrageous! Do the right thing and give him them back and explain that they're worth money.

1

1 obviously!

Why is SR in this situation? Malaise, delusion and entitlement.

Seriously, talented grown man with Oxbridge degree. It was always just easier to sponge, or convince people that good times were just around the corner, than to work and pay taxes and bills.

It catches up in the end, although it is very sad.

2!

Why does he have your children’s toys in his house?

Did he give them to you directly? It’s not clear in your post.

You seem like a bit of a shitty person. Who accepts expensive items (from a skint person) that they don't actually want and then thinks it's ok to sell them on? It isn't your business to pay back his owed money. Give the items back to him, explain they are worth some money and leave him to deal with it.

The LL has clearly lost a lot of money here. They didn’t loan that money to someone who was I likely to repay it. They probably relied on the rent. Plus it sounds as if the property has been left in a horrid state.

So why no sympathy for the LL? Obviously here there are numerous candidates for any crumbs from the table.

3 if he owes money to individuals who will really benefit from the money back. Can't say I'd make an effort for credit cards etc

He didn’t give them to me directly. He hasn’t been to see me in a very long time and has no real interest in the DC. I think my aunt suggested it, or he might have done, because my aunt was coming to see me. She brought them to me.

They (aunt and SR) both venerate old things from childhood/nostalgia so the toys going to family is a lot easier than charity shop. This is also why the toys are in such good condition.

Landlord would be included in the individuals I'd want to help out, it must be extremely frustrating and stressful for them to deal with him. Even if it's a token amount I'm sure it'll be greatly appreciated

If you were one of the people he owed money to, I’d say flog them. But it really isn’t up to you to take it into your own hands and decide which of his creditors gets this money.

You sound like a shitty person. Er, I received an unsolicited box of toys from someone at the other end of the country. Literally, that’s it.

The process of getting the things sold will be a hassle, but financially worth it.

Give them back is not an option. He has no way of receiving them and I am not paying for the postage on a trunk. He has other items in self storage which will shortly be possessed by the storage company.