Not everyone feels sorry for Mums of just boys or only children

[AlwaysFuckingTired]

Speaking to an acquaintance who mentioned feeling sorry for two of the women she works with in her office. One a Mum of 2 boys, and the other a Mum of one. Apparently she feels awkward as she thinks they're both jealous of her as she's a Mum of both sexes. I asked why she thought that, and she said "oh all women want a Daughter don't they? and everyone wants more than one" I said I've known lots of people happy with an only child or all boys, and she pulled an odd face as if she didn't believe me and said "well that's what people say"

AIBU to think she's a bit of a knob?

YANBU she's a div. I have a little boy at the moment and he is the light of my life, I've been asked so many times if I was upset that I had a boy as all women want little girls to dress up

I've been asked if I'm going to have anymore (I am) to 'get the girl'...I tell them I want more but if I end up with all boys then a mother of boys I shall be!

Well mines an only (10 year old DD) and I'm desperate for a son!

So she's full of shit!

It is very common sadly. I have 3 sons and can count on one hand the number of times I get a positive comment about it straight after telling someone this.

This gives me the rage, I'm pregnant and already have 2 boys and the amount of people saying 'oh it better be a girl this time' or 'I bet you really want a girl' 'think pink' is doing my head in.
I would like a happy and healthy baby, it's sex is inconsequential, I love my boys and I'd be chuffed to have another, or a girl.

Yes, she’s an idio. But you encounter this kind of rubbish quite a lot and in my experience it’s always from a certain type of woman. I think this poster has it bang on:

She's probably the type who thinks that having girls is great because you get to dress them like you like, like little dolls. And you do "girly" things with them. And who thinks only the mothers of daughters get to be "real" grannies.

It’s always the kind of mother who sees her offspring as an accessory and therefore an extension of herself, rather than an actual living breathing human being with independent wants and needs.

When I was a child I thought having two children, with the boy being older (which is the combination of DC you always seem to see in fictional situations) the most incredibly boring setup to have.

I also always used to think "I wouldn't feel sad if I never had a boy but I would feel sad if I never had a girl."

I had DS1. Then got pregnant again. I loved DS1 so much I would have been thrilled to have another boy. DC2 was a girl. I now had what the younger me thought was the most boring combination of children ever. I was delighted - I thought it was the coolest thing ever, and that people would be envious of me, even though I knew very well that my pre-DC self definitely wouldn't have been.

5 years later I had another DC, a boy. Again, I think Boy, Girl, Boy is the best ever setup. I am convinced that if I had had three boys, three girls, two girls and a boy, or even an only child, whatever, I would have been chuffed to bits and thought I had got the best family line up possible.

OK it's not a choice but it's much the same as this.

She's talking bollocks.

Mine and DSIS's 1DC and DB's 3DC are all boys. We're clearly a doomed family All numbers of DC were by choice.

TBH I was a bit worried about the pressure to have a "perfect" mother daughter relationship.

How can anyone say that? I'm pregnant with DS 2. I'm not feeling well today and DS 1, age 5, insisted on carrying all my shopping from the car today. I knocked something over in the kitchen and within seconds he was in the room asking me if I was okay. I needed a lie down and was going to get comfy of the sofa but he told me we should both get our PJS on and get into my bed and watch a movie, where we've been for the last two hours now while he gives me sympathetic smiles 😭 He's amazing, generous, funny and friendly. All children are individuals. What on earth is there to pity?!

I h

I have both. I do like having daughters but my ds is wonderful.

I did want daughters when I was younger.my dh comes from a family of boys so it was nice to break the mould.

Ah some people just need to feel that whatever they have is desirable to others, who don't have it. Whether it's a child, several children, both gender children, a husband, a new build house...they enjoy it more if they tell themselves others envy them. Even when others actually don't.

I have two girls and I’m honestly slightly envious of my friend who has 3 boys! Obviously I love both my DD’s and wouldn’t change them but a tiny part of me is a bit sad we won’t ever have a boy.

YANBU. I have 2 DS and one DD. DD is youngest and was the result of a genuine contraception accident. It makes me so cross when people comment that I, 'finally got the girl'!. The girl though much loved now, and a bloody fiesty madam who is twice the work of the boys,, would not be here if all had gone according to plan

When the midwife told me it was a boy ( he refused to cooperate on the scan and just showed his arse!), I was over the moon. I really wanted a boy, always have done and this is from someone whose sister is her best friend. My ds is my only by choice and we’ve never regretted it. Very strange attitude from some people!

DontDribble, I’m always green with envy when I hear about someone with 4 boys!

I won't lie to you, it is amazing, even if it is hard work! I sensibly planned 3 (and had to have fertility treatment for all 3) but then number 4 happened!

I cant imaginr what it would be like to have any other combination of children tham what i have but thats because its what im used too people who are so against having one sex(or is it gender can never remember) probably shouldnt have any kids , if they are going to be dissapounted with thevwrong sex(gender)

YANBU. When I had my fantastic son so many people commiserated that he wasn't a girl. The full wrath of my post-natal tired, emotional, hormonal self descended upon then I may even have told SIL (who only had a girl, the smug bitch) to fuck off

BTW SIL next had twin boys

Before my boy was born I couldn't picture having a boy, I was a little disappointed when I found out he wasn't going to be a girl But now he's here I realise how wrong I was and feel sorry for mums of girls. I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. And I could have more kids... but probably won't. It's chaotic enough with one

It’s a common perception though. I had a son and became pregnant again. Didn’t find out sex and everyone kept saying bet your hoping for a girl. No I was hoping for a child not to be born with a cleft palate like my first and all the hassle that bought. I did have a girl but I really wasn’t bothered what I had.

YANBU
I've got two boys.
When I had my 2nd we went to visit OHs' Nan.
First thing she said was "Oh not another BOY!", quickly followed by "Nellie (her sister) was the lucky one, she had a boy and it died, then she had a girl!"
That was a fun visit

I don't know why people think boys are lacking.

Mine were never feral or boisterous. They were always incredibly affectionate. Even now, at 16 and 20, they are really lovely. They both write the most gorgeous things in cards to me and will always tell me I look lovely. And so thoughtful. My (student) eldest saw me trying an extremely expensive serum at duty free in the summer. He covertly took a photo of it and bought it for my birthday a few months later.

Aw, love my three boys! I’m sure I’d have felt just as lucky to have girls. All of mine have different personalities so it’s not like you only get one type of person when you get a boy.

MIL insisted on loudly announcing what a disappointment each boy was. But she has all sorts of unresolved issues from being one of four (very clearly unwanted) sisters before the arrival of a miraculous brother. Sad really but I refuse to allow her preferences to dictate mine.

Yes I've totally had this, I'm pregnant with my second boy and a male colleague is expecting his second girl. He was actually quite clear that a second girl wouldn't have been his first choice (!) but made the point that if you're going to have two of either sex, it's better to have girls as they'll look after you when you're old!!! I found it so odd. I actually would prefer two of the same, I always imagine two siblings of different sex never being close (which I know isn't true, just how I imagine it) but I would never comment to any parent of one of each oh aren't you going to try again so you have two the same!

I have two beautiful girls. Yes, I feel very blessed...they are healthy, happy and here!

(People are strange...I was asked constantly when I was going to 'try for a boy'! As if I hadn't quite 'tried hard enough' the first two times round!!) 🙄

EdWinchester
That's lovely