Not everyone feels sorry for Mums of just boys or only children

[AlwaysFuckingTired]

Speaking to an acquaintance who mentioned feeling sorry for two of the women she works with in her office. One a Mum of 2 boys, and the other a Mum of one. Apparently she feels awkward as she thinks they're both jealous of her as she's a Mum of both sexes. I asked why she thought that, and she said "oh all women want a Daughter don't they? and everyone wants more than one" I said I've known lots of people happy with an only child or all boys, and she pulled an odd face as if she didn't believe me and said "well that's what people say"

AIBU to think she's a bit of a knob?

People have all sorts of strange ideas. A friend of mine is one of four brothers, his mother says that when she had the third and fourth boy so many people asked if she was disappointed, and assumed they’d only had the fourth to try for a girl. It’s unbelievable how many people she says said straight to her face how she must be disappointed.
You’ll never have a situation that someone somewhere doesn’t judge or assume is not the preference. My mother for example thinks people with two children only had the second one to prove the first wasn’t an accident. According to her people who really want children would always want three (because that what she had )

i got this a lot when i was pregnant with DC3. i already had two boys and from the moment people knew i was pregnant all i got ‘oh, hopefully it’s a girl this time!’ i did end up with a girl but i would have been perfectly happy with a boy too. i know a couple that had 6 girls and multiple miscarriages because they were desperate to have a boy.

it’s ok to feel pleased she got her preference, but to think everyone agrees is a bit odd.
Unfortunately a lot of people came out of the woodwork to ask me if I would try for a girl whilst I was still pregnant with my second boy. Then after I nearly died in labour, still asked me when I’d try for that girl... off you f**k.
Also the people who kept giving me their preferences for my baby’s gender... what are they about ?

I'm a mother of two boys and frankly I'm just happy to have two happy and healthy children. I never had a preference for what sex children I wanted and I would most certainly not be jealous of another woman for something she just happened to chance on in life that was entirely out of her control.

Why Candy? I have two boys i love them to bits i would have been equally happy with two girls or one of each .

Yes OP she is a knob.

It is a weird attitude. I had a woman once tell me "I feel sorry for you" when she saw I had two boys years ago, when they were (gorgeous, angelic) toddlers. I just thought "I feel sorry for you too, you raging wingnut".

My boys are as different from each other as my friend's dd and ds are.

YANBU. I don't get this pity towards anyone in either of those situations. If I knew someone with secondary infertility I'd be sympathetic.

She's odd. I'm over the moon with my one and only DD.

My own mother tells me repeatedly how sad it is for me never having a daughter. Couldn't disagree more, having 2 boys when I grew up as one of 3 girls is strangely liberating for me.

Oh, I must have done something heinous in a previous life then, because I only have one AND he's a boy!

Weird. I'm often told how delighted I must be to have one of each. I am actually just delighted to have two children l, and if they had both been the same sex I would have been as happy as I am now.

maybe its just me but i wouldnt want only boys i would be sad never having a daughter so i cant help but feel sorry for others.

@Greensleeves

'raging wingnut' is now my new favourite expression

I’ve only ever come across this nonsense online.
When people post about being disappointed after their 20w scan it’s always because they’ve found out it’s a boy and they wanted a girl. Always.

In real life I’ve never had anyone suggest I should be disappointed in my two sons. It helps that they are the best boys ever.

I’m getting less tolerant in my old age and would happily shut that shit down with a snippy comment or two!

I have one of each and was never bothered about which sex my babies were. I totally don't think like the woman in the OP but so so many people comment on it, "you're so lucky", "well done", "perfect" etc. Weird!

CandyCreeper, well do try, at least. It's really very odd indeed.

Save your pity for people who actually have a problem

Well I have 3 boys. We’re very happy thanks. Some people really just have no idea. I think there is some thinking that mums and daughters will be close and go shopping or something together. As if boys can’t be close to their parents or mother in particular.

I’m a mum of one boy. I consider myself extremely lucky- we thought we couldn’t have children.
DS is a joy, but I also consider myself lucky to just have one- having more than one looks much harder work - chaos!

YANBU.

An ex friend stopped speaking to me after she had her daughter, after having three boys, as we had nothing in common anymore (I have three boys]. People are weird.

Personally I want NO children. But if I end up having to it will be ONE child only. I was an only child and loved it.

Agree with her on the boy thing though. I would never want a boy.

Quite frankly she is just ignorant and clearly assumes all people should think/want as she does.

Andycreepr, if that's your attitude, then perhaps don't have children, as your poor sons would always live in their sisters shadow. I feel sorry for YOU.

She's probably the type who thinks that having girls is great because you get to dress them like you like, like little dolls. And you do "girly" things with them. And who thinks only the mothers of daughters get to be "real" grannies.

Nasty.