Not everyone feels sorry for Mums of just boys or only children

[AlwaysFuckingTired]

Speaking to an acquaintance who mentioned feeling sorry for two of the women she works with in her office. One a Mum of 2 boys, and the other a Mum of one. Apparently she feels awkward as she thinks they're both jealous of her as she's a Mum of both sexes. I asked why she thought that, and she said "oh all women want a Daughter don't they? and everyone wants more than one" I said I've known lots of people happy with an only child or all boys, and she pulled an odd face as if she didn't believe me and said "well that's what people say"

AIBU to think she's a bit of a knob?

I am a female and do not have (nor have ever had) a best friend type relationship with my mother!

I have one boy. He is 13 months. We aren’t having any more and I am fine with that. I adore him and he can play with whatever the fuck he wants (unless you operate it with your genitalia!)

I know people who generalise so much with babies and children and it really grates on me!

Oh, he was upset when you drop him off to nursery? Must be a boy thing.

Doesn’t eat solids very well? Must be a boy thing.

He sleeps well does he? Must be only girls that don’t sleep well.

Not to mention the people who think I shouldn’t be still breastfeeding him because he is a boy!
The buying pretty dresses and pink girly shite makes me want to wretch anyway.

I know people who generalise so much with babies and children and it really grates on me!

The buying pretty dresses and pink girly shite makes me want to wretch anyway.

Oh, the irony.

Just bought my ds ( third and love it) some balls for his playpen and guess what he pick the pink ones, because the blue was so dull.
I love the idea that toys come in different colours and themes as it gives people and children options, but saying that my ds's have always had a choice - children love colour.

FGS so many stereotypes on here.

My almost 3 year old DS loves cars, trains etc. He also loves playing pretend kitchens, pushing his teddies around in his toy pushchair and any kind of "pretend" game really ("I'm taking teddy to play group/the shop/granny's house). He doesn't like ball games, can't kick/throw well (like me ha!) and can't/won't use his scooter. He likes singing, reading stories together, and most of the children he says he plays with at nursery/play group are girls.

So what?! Maybe it's because he's allowed to be whoever he wants to be, rather than be what stereotypes say he should be...

I never thought I would/could have children but got there eventually. I have one son and I love him more than I could ever have imagined. I certainly do not feel like Ive missed out by not having a daughter. The answer to your question is she is definitely a knob

Mum to two boys here. DH would love a DD, I'm not fussed what DC3 is when we decide to have him/her.

My DB has four girls and ARGH, THE CONSTANT DRAMA. I dont know, I find boys less complicated.

Mum to two little boys and never felt sympathy at all! Infact it's the opposite, I get mums round here telling me I'm lucky not to have girls as they are hard work compared to their boys

Oof the persistent stereotyping of girls as being this kind of hysterical, manipulative drama queens is so horrible, as is the persistent stereotyping of boys as these mindless, emotionless, simpletons.

This thread is grim.

“I am highly empathetic and worry about this too when I am around someone with just boys, or just girls or one”

This is actually quite funny.

Look up the difference between empathy and projection, perhaps?

God people mouth such mindless crap.

• the persistent stereotyping of girls as being this kind of hysterical, manipulative drama queens is so horrible, as is the persistent stereotyping of boys as these mindless, emotionless, simpletons.

This thread is grim.*

Absolutely this.

I have a DD and am pregnant with a DS. The amount of people who tell me how “lucky” I am to have one of each is staggering! I’ve had comments such as “perfect family” “You don’t need any more” etc...

I actually think there’s something very special about having 2 of the same sex actually, so i’d have been thrilled with another girl. I don’t think I have the “perfect family” at all! This is because I really want a 3rd baby, then it will be perfect to me.

I have secondary infertility, and will need IVF again for number 3. I wasn’t content with one child, but I know plenty who are. I would never pity someone who only wanted one through choice, that’s bonkers! But I would pity someone who was in my boat and was desperate not to have an only child. That’s a hellish feeling.

I must admit I do feel a bit sorry for only children.
But wrt to same sex siblings ( if you’re just having 2 ) far better to have 2 of the same sex as they’ll bond & get on better.
If you’re having 3+ then I’d want a mix.

Worst case scenario ( for me ) is 2 dc - boy / girl.

Worst case scenario ( for me ) is 2 dc - boy / girl
What the he'll!! People consider what a worse case scenario would be!
When Dp and I had the kids we were excited that we were having a baby. It never occurred to us that there was an optimum scenario and a worse case one.
As it happens we got what we wanted, two babies that were healthy and we were so pleased with that.

I have 2 boys and a girl. Love my daughter to bits but I am much more a mum of boys. Can't/don't do the girly things like make up/heels/hair. She's just growing up to be more of a Tom boy like us! I'd have been perfectly happy with 3 boys

Bloody hell your poor daughter.

Worst case scenario ( for me ) is 2 dc - boy / girl

Jesus just when you think this thread can't get any worse. On what planet is two children of any sex a worse case scenario?

Sorry, completely wrong choice of phrase.
Just for me, if I was only going to have 2 children I’d far rather have 2 of the same sex.
Of course I’d be happy with girl/ boy, but it’s not what I’d personally choose.

Why would you feel sorry for only children?

I really hate these threads too where people seem to gleefully insult girls. Ffs my daughters are wonderful and kind and funny...as are my sons. Maybe if you find your daughters difficult or assume girls are, that says a lot more about your entrenched internalized misogyny than it ever does about girls. Hate grown women insulting young girls.

Ajw in other words your daughter is growing up to be a normal girl, despite your awful belief in damaging gender stereotypes.

Exactly @notacooldad when I was going through 4 years of infertility and miscarriage he’ll it’s exactly those sorts of people who used to boil my blood!!!!!! Even when I first started trying I don’t think I ever thought too far from just wanting to be a mum!!! I think these comments say a lot about individual people’s character, and it’s not complementary!

Also why do people need a ‘girly daughter’ to do the things they consider ‘girly’ with?!? Surely that’s what your friends are for?!?

I'm worried reading this thread that some people place such shame and judgement on anyone that may have a preference that it is ultimately becoming a taboo and something that is never honestly discussed.

I personally believe that having a preference for the sex of your children is completely natural and is incredibly common. Like most of the preferences in our lives, this will be shaped by lots of factors and whilst some of these factors might be trivial or based on stereotypes, some may be much more serious and brought on by distressing experiences or relationships that someone has encountered. In the latter scenario in particular I really don't think it's helpful or fair for outsiders to stress how having a preference about your child's sex is wrong. Realistically if it was that easy to overcome such a preference then I'm sure most people would do so as we all know that there is only a 50:50 chance of getting your preferred sex so by having your preference you are setting yourself up for a high chance of disappointment.

If you honestly have no preference at all then good for you but this doesn't make you superior to someone that does have a preference. As long as any parent with a preference doesn't allow this to interfere with their parenting of their children or their relationship then it's all pretty harmless and normally will be forgotten about anyway as they bond with the specific child they've had and not the idea of a child of a certain sex. You only need to read the responses on this thread from parents who originally wanted boys/girls and got the opposite sex but now say they wouldn't change a things to see this is true and preferences aren't set in stone.

Your colleague is a deluded smug idiot

I love being a mum of one boy