Not everyone feels sorry for Mums of just boys or only children

[AlwaysFuckingTired]

Speaking to an acquaintance who mentioned feeling sorry for two of the women she works with in her office. One a Mum of 2 boys, and the other a Mum of one. Apparently she feels awkward as she thinks they're both jealous of her as she's a Mum of both sexes. I asked why she thought that, and she said "oh all women want a Daughter don't they? and everyone wants more than one" I said I've known lots of people happy with an only child or all boys, and she pulled an odd face as if she didn't believe me and said "well that's what people say"

AIBU to think she's a bit of a knob?

*Candycreeper

Yanbu she's definitely a nob. As a mum of two boys I don't need pity - I bloody love it. Wouldn't have it any other way!!

Oh and CandyCreeper - this mother of a beloved son, really doesn't want your misplaced pity...

I have a boy and a girl. The girl has always been much harder work, if you know what I mean. Two boys would have been just fine.

My mum had four daughters and finally a son. She says he is the easiest and most loving! We all have a great relationship with each other but I know her and dB (maybe as the youngest) have a lovely bond. So I don't believe all this crap about sons and mothers!

I have an only and in all honesty would have loved more. But the fact is that there are also massive, massive advantages to having an only child. Both for DS and for me. If I could get pregnant in the morning I'd probably be tempted (and I wouldn't care about the gender another son would be just as wonderful as a daughter) but I don't need anyone ever feeling sorry for me. Our lives are utterly wonderful as they are.

Lordy. How odd. I have 2 boys and are delighted with them. :) They are gorgeous little bundles of fun and I feel so grateful I am lucky enough to have them.

AIBU to think she's a bit of a knob?

YABU. She is a complete bellend!

Love my two boys and if we had a third I'd be more than happy with another boy. I have had two older family members implying I must be disappointed when my 2nd boy arrived- absolutely not! He's my baby and I love him!

This attitude from people really annoys me. I'd hate for my ds's to ever feel like I was disappointed they're boys or that I would've preferred a dd. I can honestly say I would've been equally happy with 2 dds or 1 of each.

As for not liking pink and frills - I'm not massively keen on them either but I can't say I'm thrilled by Spiderman merchandise or watching police cars drive past either. The interests of small children are often boring.

I’ve only ever come across this nonsense online. When people post about being disappointed after their 20w scan it’s always because they’ve found out it’s a boy and they wanted a girl. Always.

I've found it real life, sadly. There was a woman in my antenatal yoga class who 'wasn't finding out to put the disappointment off as long as possible if it's a boy' (I don't know what she sent on to have) and at our antenatal classes two of the other mums who knew they were having boys were saying how 'lucky' the ones having girls were, and looked at me as if I should join in. Recently another mum told me I should make the most of cuddles with my DS (who is 4 months old!) now because 'boys don't love you like girls do when they get older'. She's bizarrely smug about having a girl - she goes on constantly about how they're easier even though hers is constantly either vomiting or screaming and my boy is a pretty content little thing. Shrug.

my sons are well loved thank you very much just wouldnt want only boys, I dont know anyone irl who didnt have a preference!

Ask her if she's ever heard of unconditional love.

I’m really glad I had boys. I don’t think I could cope with the sexism that girls face nowadays. I would become more of a feminist than I already am. I am pleased that I have chance to bring up two young men with good morals and values. I can’t stand pink either and never been keen on typical girly things.

I have four sons and it's fabulous! I do get comments about what a terrible time I must have, and depending on my mood I either say "Well no, they are great and if they weren't I wouldn't have had so many" or "Obviously I wish that my only daughter hadn't died at birth, but I'm really proud of my boys and anyone who thinks I shouldn't be can Fuck Right Off".

I don't envy other people their daughters. Mine would have been wonderful, but so are her brothers. I wish every hour of every day that she was still alive, but that would be the same regardless of her sex.

Can't relate to this at all as I secretly wanted only boys, and was lucky enough to get them.

But whatever you get is a blessing. I have nieces and god daughters. I am really close to my god daughters and I adore them. I see that girls are hard work growing up but ultimately lovely. I am one of 4 girls and I know my ageing parents feel well looked after, but I think it would be the same if we were 4 men.

My husband is one of 4 boys and they all worship their mum. I am hoping for a bit of that myself!

Candycreeper. I feel sorry for anyone that feels like you do.

I honestly never had a preference, Candy.

Perhaps people do say that sort of rubbish IRL though....I know my mother used to annoy the crap out of me when I was growing up.... our neighbours had 5 boys and my mother used to cluck her tongue and say with a sort of sorrow mixed with gossipy relish; 'Oh, she would have loved a girl and kept going trying to get one... what a shame...'

But that was the kind of person she was.

I have two boys and am extremely happy with that, ta very much.

I am one of six, the first daughter after four boys. My mother told me that she kept trying for a girl and was so happy when I arrived. She then went on to tell me that if I'd been a boy, she would have had me adopted. You can imagine how that made me feel. I sincerely hope she has never indicated to any of my brothers that they were, somehow, just what she had to endure before having what she "really wanted".

Equally I hope that anyone who thinks that having 'just' boys or 'just' one child is something to be pitied learns some basic human decency before they infect other people with their nastiness.

I'm supposed to be jealous of people with both sexes. I have 3 DDs - turns out it's my perfect combination and I couldn't imagine it any other way.

Agree with her on the boy thing though. I would never want a boy

Why not? I cannot understand why you wouldn't want a little boy. I've got a girl and a boy and I love them both the same and utterly unconditionally.

What a knob, mum of one darling baby girl! She’s beautiful and perfect but I’ve not got a clue what to do with her. I always seen my future as being a mum of boys and still feel a wee lump in my throat when one of those tacky jumpers comes up on insta. For now I have 1 and she will be an only unless I could guarantee a boy. I had 2 sisters and F* me I would not want my parents life with us for myself or DP.

DontDribble, I’m always green with envy when I hear about someone with 4 boys!

In an alternate universe I definitely have 4 and that other me is so lucky! . This universe me decided to make sensible choices about money and space. Idiot!

I hate this!! I have an only child who is a boy and I wouldnt swap him for anything and he will be my only child!! Even my mil says this to me because she has 2 boys she tells us we should try for another one to give us a chance of having a girl!