Not everyone feels sorry for Mums of just boys or only children

[AlwaysFuckingTired]

Speaking to an acquaintance who mentioned feeling sorry for two of the women she works with in her office. One a Mum of 2 boys, and the other a Mum of one. Apparently she feels awkward as she thinks they're both jealous of her as she's a Mum of both sexes. I asked why she thought that, and she said "oh all women want a Daughter don't they? and everyone wants more than one" I said I've known lots of people happy with an only child or all boys, and she pulled an odd face as if she didn't believe me and said "well that's what people say"

AIBU to think she's a bit of a knob?

Exactly, reallyanotherone.

I honestly don't know what's worse about this thread, either a load of trolls have posted or some posters actually believe what they have posted. Surely it's a child's personality that plays the bigger part on how they are not their sex. Or do posters actually believe that babies are taken to one side after they are born and told boys must act one way and girls act another. This thread would be funny if it wasn't for the fact this is how people actually think, so is actually sad. I can only imagine people reading these posts who have spent years trying to have a baby unsuccessfully or took years and treatments to eventually have their baby been in utter dismay. The smugness of some posters is actually pouring out of their posts, they go on about the ops colleague but they are actually as bad. Imagine feeling sorry for a parent because their child/children is the 'wrong sex' in their eyes.I feel like I've gone back 30 years.

Of course they aren't reallyanotherone. But it tends to be mum's of only boys that get completely unnecessary pity. As a mum of boys I always try to offer some assurance to anyone who might he facing the same that's entirely unnecessary. It's not meant to take away from mum's of girls. I spent many years in gruelling treatment to produce my boys and I wouldn't have cared what they are. Both have entirely different personalities and both are equally precious. But I get so fed of up of people suggesting I would have preferred girls, or that my family isn't complete without a girl in it and so do lots of other mum's of boys. It's really annoying.

winter girls may be the desired sex for women in your opinion but this is a massively female dominated forum and you more than likely mix more with women in your daily life. Stats show however, that most men desire boys and if this was a male forum it would read very differently.

I have one daughter and 2 sons.... don’t get it. My daughter is the hardest work anyway 🤣🤣

Holy shit @HamptonsNY that's probably the most bonkers thing I have ever read on a MN thread

@HamptonsNY

I think Mothers of girls only have never experienced parenthood, its an easy ride compared to being a mother to boys. They have no idea of how outgoing and boisterous boys can be, constantly seek the adventure, especially when they get to school age and the teenage years.

PMSL X 100! 😂😂😂

I rest my case. Thanks for proving me right about (some) mothers with just boys. If that's not bashing girls - and parents who have them - I don't know what is! Some women on here are working very hard to desperately trying to insist how amazingly glad they are to not have girls. How odd.

As I (and a number of others said,) all the mothers who have just girls are saying, is that they don't want boys..... but (some of) the mothers who have just boys, are being VILE about girls. Funny that isn't it? Almost like they're in denial.

You have let the ranty 'boys are ace and much better than girls, so THERE!' side there down sweetie. If having only boys turns you into what YOU are (and a few others on this thread,) no wonder people desire girls more........

I will just leave it there. I'm exiting the thread now; it's gone batshit. (And it's a few of the mothers with sons only, that have done it!)

See ya!

I have one boy.
I don’t want any more children, I don’t have the time, energy or finances and I like that I can give what I have to one child.
If I did end up having another child at some point I would pray for another boy. So yanbu and yes she is a knob

Just seen winterfells post so thought I’d add I’ve nothing against girls and my closest friend has 4 daughters who are all lovely, I wouldn’t want a girl for fear they’d be like me and I think girls are more worry

But only half the 'people' mostly want girls winter, the other half mostly want boys, and research shows men are more likely to act on that, are far less likely to display 'denial' and in fact far more likely to leave the family home if his offspring are solely female. So females may be the preferred sex for some, but when considering men and women's preferences across the board, boys are as equally wanted.

There's been some shocking negativity towards girls on this thread. I'm quite taken aback actually.

Yeah, why put down boys or girls at all?

I find the whole ‘easier/harder’ thing a load of crap too.

All my children are hard-work and they all disappoint me, how’s that?!

(They don’t really disappoint me!)

I’ve posted this before, but the stereotyping is shocking from day 1. When my prem was in NICU on oxygen and a feeding tube, he kept pulling them out. I was assured this was because he was a boy. Nothing to do with the fact that tubes must be quite literally a pain. A NICU nurse also slunk up to my ward to announce apologetically that they had run out of boy clothes, and the best they could do was gender neutral.
I doubt DS would have cared if they had dressed him as a Martian, frankly...

Some people are just such bellends.

A pregnant relative recently told me that she was having a boy and was soooo disappointed about it... because (among other things) girl's clothes are so much better for Instagram than boys clothes! I'd always suspected she was a bit of a dickhead, and that just confirmed it. To compound the stupidity, she was saying this to me, MIL and two of my SILs. Between the four of us we have 11 sons, so really weren't the right audience for that bit of twattery

I have two boys and one girl. They re all loved and lovely but the boys are 'easier' and less demanding. I do think though that girls seem to stay closer to their adult parents than boys do . When I gave birth it was my mum I looked to for advice and help and I expect my son's wives/partners will do the same. Its just life . For that reason if I think about it a very tiny part of me wishes I had had three girls.

Member86 both my sons have spoken to me about private and personal things,in fact they come to me faster then their dad.I find a lot of mothers i know with boys and girls often don't put as much effort in with their sons then they do with their daughters. I think that's why do many sons aren't as close to their mother's when their grown. Why would they with their mother didn't show much interest in them.

I've also heard only children can be self entitled? I don't know if that's true but I will only have the one as I can't afford another child so 😂

As the mum of one of each, I read the OP cringing at the thought process of the OP's acquaintance.

But do you know what? By the end of this thread, I'm wondering if she's partly right.

It seems to be (some of) the mums of only one or the other that seem to be the most unhinged, hysterical, misguided, misinformed, bitter, misogynistic, lacking in empathy and downright incapable (I wouldn't know what to do with a [girl / boy]).

Incredible that way some people are happy to come across to others.

Children are children. Surely you don't need to raise both to understand this. Girls are just as loving and sensitive as boys. Boys are just as mean and unkind as girls. Girls are just as boisterous as boys. Boys are just as much trouble as teenagers as girls.

It depends on the child. And the way you raise them. Nature and nurture. Not genitals.

I have two boys and one girl. They re all loved and lovely but the boys are 'easier' and less demanding. I do think though that girls seem to stay closer to their adult parents than boys do . When I gave birth it was my mum I looked to for advice and help and I expect my son's wives/partners will do the same. Its just life . For that reason if I think about it a very tiny part of me wishes I had had three girls

Again, bollocks. You’re projecting your own experience onto the world, assuming everyone’s family dynamic is like yours.

It’s not. Don’t be so arrogant. Do you not think your boys pick up on the fact that you’re expecting them to move on while the girs stay close?

My dh is way closer to his mum than i am to mine. My mum was the last personi wanted anywhere near when i had kids. I don’t presume that all boys stay close to their mums while all girls move away.

Your personal situation does not extrapolate to the general population. I like coffee. Dh likes tea. Therefore all men like tea, all women like coffee.

I’ve got boys and always really wanted boys so I’m happy with my lot but wouldn’t have been sad if I’d had two girls or one of each of any combination really. You don’t generally get to choose these things.

thelittledoglaughed I only do the over-explaining thing to twats who bring up the idea that I’m selfish to have only one. Most people ask about another out of a perfectly innocent place so although it twinges, I don’t want to make them feel bad. The first group though, all bets are off!

Yabu - I am highly empathetic and worry about this too when I am around someone with just boys, or just girls or one. I’m sure it’s in my head but feel I have to down play how lucky I feel I am just in case they would like one of each. I think this is because I know a few people who this is an issue for.