to feel humiliated by mums leaving pub tables in a state

[Servernotslave]

I’m a waitress and today I felt so demoralised by the state the the table was left in by a group of 4 mums out for a £6.99 sandwich meal deal in the chain pub I work in; High chairs left caked in food, the floor covered in rice and grated cheese and other snacks, used wet wipes all over the table but not used to clean up even a tiny bit.

My children are 11&12 now but I never would have left a table like that, I’d have asked for a dustpan or if they offered to clean it I’d have left a tip and apologised.

I’m overworked and underpaid like a lot of jobs, I used to be a buyer in London but following a shit divorce i waitress locally because it currently fits in with the kids. I’m a smiley person and do my best to give really good service and go the extra mile however I couldn’t hide my disdain today and noticed one of the women had left her bank card on the floor, I ran out of to the car park to hand it back and said “Whilst I was picking your food off the floor I found this”.
She said thanks but tbh I wish I’d just left it behind bar so she would be inconvenienced collecting it- it’s so unlike me to think like this.

It took me 15 minutes to make the table presentable again whilst I also had food to run and other customers to serve- 25 other tables actually! I’m really questioning how a group of mums with toddlers made me feel so worthless.

Another table had left quavers all over the windowsill and another table had let their kids snap crayons everywhere.

It’s normally a nice pub with a great regular clientele but now I’m just dreading the build up to Christmas if it’s going to be like this every shift as more mums pile for get togethers and give no thought to how it feels to pick up mess like this in front of other customers.

AIBU to expect people to have a bit more decorum or is it my job unconditionally?

Yanbu. It's really scummy and entitled.

They're really thoughtless people op

I find this more and more with people younger than me to be honest. No thought for others in a lot of them.

YABU
Stop taking your job so personally.
If I wanted to clean up after myself I wouldn't go out for lunch, not that I was ever in the habit taking toddlers into pubs - too much like hard work.

AIBU to expect people to have a bit more decorum or is it my job unconditionally?

YANBU to expect them to have a bit more decorum

Yes it kind of is your job unconditionally but that doesn't excuse their awful behaviour.

YABU to feel humiliated. They humiliated themselves, not you.

They're dirty pigs OP. YANBU.

That is rubbish, I would have offered them a dustpan when they were sitting down. I wonder if they leave their own places like that.

People can be disgusting. I used to be amazed at the mess people can leave when I was cabin crew.

Some passengers would give me this faux sympathetic look and say it was a shame I had to clean up. They seemed disappointed when I said the cleaners actually clean it! Not that that makes it any better.

I think some people get a weird kind of thrill from watching staff who they think are beneath them have to mop up.

If I wanted to clean up after myself I wouldn't go out for lunch

There’s a world of difference between normal lunch cleaning up and the absolute shit storm that some parents leave.

I totally agree with the OP. Some parents are absolutely disgusting and ill mannered. It’s embarrassing the mess they leave.

It’s gross and I agree degrading to the wait staff. I always clear up and make my DC behave the same as they would at home

This happens to my student daughter who works in a nice cafe
People are grim

I used to work at a city farm, and we had this virtually daily.

These mums left the SEN volunteers to clear up their shit day after day.

Some dads too, but mostly mums.

It was disgusting.

It’s also very easy on threads like these to spot who has worked in customer facing roles and who hasn’t.

I read the Reddit groups for stories from waiters and retail staff. Customers regularly leave loads of rubbish, poo on the floor in changing rooms and let their children wee on the floor.

The staff aren’t there to clean bodily fluids up.

It’s not Just cafes I’ve had friends who worked in shops tell me about used nappies, used tampons and actual poo left in changing rooms. Women’s

YABU
Leaving a mess is one thing but trashing the place is rather Bullingdon

sadly it seems to be quite a common theme. Were they loud and intrusive to other diners as well? I live in a fairly prosperous area and the entitlement factor is horrible. These people feel entitled to take their children wherever (even if not at all appropriate for children) and behave selfishly. They fail the "waitress test" in many ways. Often well educated, have high disposable income and are very quick to criticise publicly being called out on such behaviour.

YANBU. I'm absolutely appalled when people do this. Yes, kids make a mess but there's a limit. Dropping a bit of food or just general mess from the meal is fine, it's part of the job but I've worked in cafes etc before where people have brought things like popcorn in from elsewhere and their kid has thrown it EVERYWHERE.
It's disgusting and rude.

I used to work in a large cafe clearing tables and I was disgusted at how bad some people left their tables. It just showing no respect for the person who has to clear it up.

I always leave my table tidy now- DH thinks I’m a bit over the top! I stack things neatly on to the tray - to give the person clearing it a nice easy table to make up for all the terrible ones. I also tell my children to leave the place nice as someone has to clean up after us.

It is disgusting behaviour.

I used to work in a pub frequented by the local mums at lunchtime, and they were the always the worst customers for leaving mess. We've had shitty nappies left on tables, along with all the other detritus you described and this was in a supposedly naice area of London. We had a signposted baby change area but they thought it best to change the nappy on a table where people eat. Also the least likely group to tip in my experience. It does make you feel crap that people will treat others like that, people are becoming increasingly rude and entitled so service people get it in the neck.

blech. meant NBU

I think people think it’s just part of the service. I also suspect they enjoy the freedom of being allowed a space where they can make a disgusting mess with no consequences. No one is going to say anything are they? They ‘need a break’ from clearing up after DC and it’s in the wait staff’s job description to clean up so.. you know

I notice people usually tend to pick up all their picnic stuff or beach stuff because it’s slightly less socially acceptable to openly soil a park with litter and someone might say something. But a cafe or pub is basically fair game

People are pigs everywhere. They leave their rubbish on the floor or on the seats in cinemas and theatres. There's a bin on your way out - use it.
I was in America on holiday and was watching a bit of tv in my room before dinner. There was a series on. The scene was a dad dropping teen kid off at school. The teen got out of car and dropped their empty coke bottle on the floor. The dads line was - pick it up you're not From Britain.

I was horrified. That's our reputation.

I hate this so much. There are some groups I refuse to go out with as it’s so embarrassing.