to feel humiliated by mums leaving pub tables in a state

[Servernotslave]

I’m a waitress and today I felt so demoralised by the state the the table was left in by a group of 4 mums out for a £6.99 sandwich meal deal in the chain pub I work in; High chairs left caked in food, the floor covered in rice and grated cheese and other snacks, used wet wipes all over the table but not used to clean up even a tiny bit.

My children are 11&12 now but I never would have left a table like that, I’d have asked for a dustpan or if they offered to clean it I’d have left a tip and apologised.

I’m overworked and underpaid like a lot of jobs, I used to be a buyer in London but following a shit divorce i waitress locally because it currently fits in with the kids. I’m a smiley person and do my best to give really good service and go the extra mile however I couldn’t hide my disdain today and noticed one of the women had left her bank card on the floor, I ran out of to the car park to hand it back and said “Whilst I was picking your food off the floor I found this”.
She said thanks but tbh I wish I’d just left it behind bar so she would be inconvenienced collecting it- it’s so unlike me to think like this.

It took me 15 minutes to make the table presentable again whilst I also had food to run and other customers to serve- 25 other tables actually! I’m really questioning how a group of mums with toddlers made me feel so worthless.

Another table had left quavers all over the windowsill and another table had let their kids snap crayons everywhere.

It’s normally a nice pub with a great regular clientele but now I’m just dreading the build up to Christmas if it’s going to be like this every shift as more mums pile for get togethers and give no thought to how it feels to pick up mess like this in front of other customers.

AIBU to expect people to have a bit more decorum or is it my job unconditionally?

Yanbu I hate this so much, my youngest is only 1 so drops a lot and I always pick up everything and wipe down any spills etc. I’ve seen on BLW Facebook groups some people say “it’s their job to clean it” which makes me angry, it’s just disrespectful to leave it in an awful state

This is the reason I won't go to Costa. Too many entitled mothers allowing children to be messy and horrid.

I own a coffee shop on the whole people are really respectful and ask for a dustpan and brush, I often tell them not to worry but they insist. It's rare that someone leaves a mess, in fact customers will often bring their empties to the table...I think the difference is we're a small independent, I know most of my customers and they know that I work stupid hours, I'm not a faceless chain.

Anyway yanbu, it's disgusting and I would always make an effort to clear up when my dc were little

YANBU. It's common decency to not leave an absolute tip behind. Some people are arseholes.

I used to work in retail and people used to steal pants, get changed into them in the changing rooms, and leave their old dirty pair behind on the floor. Disgusting.

YANBU, I hate this. Toddler DS isn't the cleanest when he's eating but I always mop up the table and chair with baby wipes, pile the wipes onto one of the plates so they can just be scraped into the bin with any leftover food, pick up big bits of food off the floor and if he's made a real mess, ask for a dustpan and brush.

I used to work in a pub and generally people would ask for a dustpan and brush, I'd say no and do it for them when they'd gone, but at least they had the courtesy to ask!

When I'm out I'm often astounded at the state people with small children leave their tables in.

I was once in a pizza place and a small child puked on the table and surrounds. The family upped and left without even a word to the staff. I can sort of understand them feeling humiliated/panicky/flustered/wanting to just get the kid out and calmed down and cleaned up etc, but couldn't one of them at least tell the staff what had happened and apologise?

My dB and sil are like this when we go out. They tend to be ahead of us when we're leaving, leaving all their kuds' mess. I cannot leave it so I pick up/wipe the worst of it. It's minging. (Mind they're the same when they come to my house too)

SDTG if I took a toddler out for a pub lunch they would not be allowed to sit snapping crayons and lining up quavers on the window ledges. A certain amount of mess on the floor is to be expected and I don't really believe anyone saying they would ask staff for a dustpan and brush. I would pick up stray chips but not something which couldn't be handled.

Definitely would not get out the wet wipes as almost every time I have borrowed a cafe highchair it looks like it has merely been wiped down by the previous occupant rather than properly cleaned.

One waitress for 25 tables is too few - I have done the job.

Not sure why the Op mentioned she used to work in the City? Sounds like she thinks she is too good for the job and so by default looking down on herself and her co-workers.

Also £6.99 for a sandwich lunch? Why is that relevant? Do you get to make more mess if you spend more?

YANBU.

People like this can be so entitled. And then if you raised it, they'd tell you you've forgotten what it's like when your kids were small. Er, no.

Don't let knobs like that bring you down xx

BackforGood - but the OP does feel humiliated. She can’t change how she feels. It’s not very dignified cleaning up after people.

When I was a student nurse I was cleaning and making up a bed one day and two teenage girls were giggling at me doing it. One of them said “imagine having to be a hospital cleaner, yuck, what a crap job.”

I politely pointed out to them that I was training to be a nurse and one of our important jobs was making sure beds were clean so other patients wouldn’t get sick. I also said that hospital cleaners did a vital job!

People DO look down on staff members cleaning and it’s uncomfortable to watch them smirk and whisper about you.

I have to say, I have never asked for a dustpan and brush when kids were little, but I would have cleared away wipes and at least consolidated stuff from the table so it was easier to take away. And we'd apologise to staff as we left if the floor was messy, to acknowledge they'd have to do a bit more cleaning up than normal.

If I wanted to clean up after myself I wouldn't go out for lunch

You're not cleaning up after yourself, you're cleaning up after your children (unless, of course, you too throw food around and stick gum under tables) and showing them how to respect other people, whether they earn less or more than you.

And now you know how much many people despise you.

Unfortunately some people feel that either paying for a service, or the fact they have children entitles them to any behaviour of any sort, regardless of the impact on others. It is very selfish and unaware. Some people can't see the difference between the staff in a shop or restaurant serving them, and creating work for them which is well beyond their remit and unpleasant. It is thoughtless.

Sometimes people take this attitude because they are paying for a service. In my experience, it's usually the less affluent actually who behave like this - somehow they need to make a bigger fuss about being out/create more work for the staff. It can be seen in leaving a mess or making ridiculous complaints or requests, in speaking in a condescending way to staff or not saying thank you and showing basic manners, such as gathering up mess left on a table into one place.

Other perplexing seem to take this attitude because they have children. They decide that children and their behaviour and mess are the responsibility of everyone as well as or instead of themselves. So if their children are noisy or messy, no-one in a public situation has any right to feel irritited by any any type of behaviour and everyone must take part in suffering or clearing up - for some it is carte Blanche to not take any kind of responsibility.

Essentially, it is selfish and a lack of manners.

Is it humiliating? In itself, I don't think so. Other people's selfishness and lack of manners reflects badly on themselves, not on others. If however, their actions result in you having to carry out demeaning tasks, particularly in public, then it might make you feel humiliated, although not all workers in this position will feel like this. Scraping food off the floor which might require crawling under a table in front of customers, or clearing up shit in a public area in front of other people, and feeling like everyone is watching you having to do these tasks which really don't fall within your remit might be humiliating.

Personally this wouldn't make me feel humiliated. I'd feel irritated but not humiliated. If however your self esteem is a bit low and you are easily embarrassed by various things in public situations and easily feel small, having to carry out such tasks could easily make you feel degraded.

In the end Op, they have shown themselves up - remember that. Nit is disgusting and selfish. You need to hold your head high and rise above it. It is their problem not yours,

My god, reading some of the arrogant and patronising comments on this thread, l can completely understand why people leave tables in that condition...

I was a wsitress for years the yummy Waitrose mummies are the WORST for this. Mannerless twats.

Backforgood - do you really think it's ok to speak to the OP like that? "ls English your first language?" ls that relevant in any way?

I guess I was always told to judge people on how they treated those they considered to be serving or waiting on them... therefore I would judge such mothers to be absolutely uncaring of others with a willingness to allow their own children to witness and absorb their nasty habits.
They sit there in our cafe with their manicured nails and freshly dyed hair staring at their mobile phones whilst the children smear food and drink everywhere and then crawl around on a filthy floor.

YANBU at all. I've been there myself and feel your pain. Makes you really start to dislike people doesn't it?

Honestly that's the job. I say that as someone who worked in service for years in a "family friendly" pub. Try working in nightclubs when people vomit in sinks and leave their shit in the toilet. If you're feeling so demoralised by it you need to change jobs because the job itself won't change.

Urrrg this is quite common. Once a customer thought it was our job to clear up her childs vomit in a cafe! She swaned our with a ‘ oh he always gets sick when we’ve been in the car’. Just awful.

I used to waitress in the restaurant of a 5 star hotel (about 20 years ago), including during the breakfast buffet, and the way some people left their tables was beyond grim. The worst offenders were a particular racial group (which I certainly won't name here!)

Awful : people are all me me me!
Hospitality is hard work and I hate how people look down on the ones doing it.
No need for it at all.

I've worked in a restaurant before and toddlers always left loads of food on the floor under the high chair. It's hardly the end of the world to sweep it up, it's not like the parents have a dustpan and brush in their handbag

howabout - OP didn’t say she was too good for the job. She is over qualified for the job. Waitressing is classed as an unskilled job. I can see how it you have had a nice, well paid office job, working in a cafe being treated like crap by customers would be pretty awful.

I am always nice to waiting staff and I never leave a huge mess. It’s really lovely to go out for a meal and be served by friendly, helpful staff who want you to relax and enjoy yourself. I really value this and will tip well.

It’s an unskilled job but that doesn’t mean that most people don’t appreciate waiting staff.