to feel humiliated by mums leaving pub tables in a state

[Servernotslave]

I’m a waitress and today I felt so demoralised by the state the the table was left in by a group of 4 mums out for a £6.99 sandwich meal deal in the chain pub I work in; High chairs left caked in food, the floor covered in rice and grated cheese and other snacks, used wet wipes all over the table but not used to clean up even a tiny bit.

My children are 11&12 now but I never would have left a table like that, I’d have asked for a dustpan or if they offered to clean it I’d have left a tip and apologised.

I’m overworked and underpaid like a lot of jobs, I used to be a buyer in London but following a shit divorce i waitress locally because it currently fits in with the kids. I’m a smiley person and do my best to give really good service and go the extra mile however I couldn’t hide my disdain today and noticed one of the women had left her bank card on the floor, I ran out of to the car park to hand it back and said “Whilst I was picking your food off the floor I found this”.
She said thanks but tbh I wish I’d just left it behind bar so she would be inconvenienced collecting it- it’s so unlike me to think like this.

It took me 15 minutes to make the table presentable again whilst I also had food to run and other customers to serve- 25 other tables actually! I’m really questioning how a group of mums with toddlers made me feel so worthless.

Another table had left quavers all over the windowsill and another table had let their kids snap crayons everywhere.

It’s normally a nice pub with a great regular clientele but now I’m just dreading the build up to Christmas if it’s going to be like this every shift as more mums pile for get togethers and give no thought to how it feels to pick up mess like this in front of other customers.

AIBU to expect people to have a bit more decorum or is it my job unconditionally?

University students often leave a whirlwind of chaos when they leave the library. It’s not hard to pick up your rubbish. They leave collection trollies out for return books within the library so that staff can re-shelve them.

But it’s really common to come across shelves where students have taken out several books and haven’t put them back. They just pick it up, flick through and dump them back on shelf.

One student was angry when a member of library staff wouldn’t clean a dirty lavatory. It was like she wanted the librarian to clean it in front of her so that she could use it!

People are weird!

YANBU.

When I waitressed I frequently had these kind of tables. Not just groups of mums either. Parents in general. One particular group would have no issue with changing nappies at the table. Oh so grim. There's no excuse.

I would just directly ask them to clean up after themselves in the end. Meant I wouldn't get a tip, but worth that demeaning feeling you describe.

If I wanted to clean up after myself I wouldn't go out for lunch

This is such a horrible attitude. Obviously you aren't expected to go and do the washing up but surely leaving the place in a presentable state is normal behaviour. I always make sure I clear up any bits my toddler has thrown onto the floor.

I work at a secondary school and am amazed at how many students think it's acceptable to leave their plates for the cleaners to collect. If this is the attitude of some adults there's no hope with teenagers is there.

*worth NOT having that demeaning feeling

I've seen the same thing at the gym I go to. Mums take their DCs to swimming lessons, shower and change them into onesies and then into the cafe for tea. They leave food all over the floor, tables and chairs. It's just awful. I don't understand it either.....

It's disgusting.

I always make an effort to clean up as best I can if DS is messy - not so bad not he's nearly 6 - but we were never overly messy anyway. I find it rude and disrespectful.

Yes eating out means not having to clean up after yourself but that should not include leaving the place like these customers did.

I think asking for a dustpan to sweep the floor is going too far, I'd be embarrassed if a friend did that in a cafe! But yes everyone should make an effort to wipe down their highchair, the table and put rubbish on plates.

The exception is when your baby/toddler is screaming and you need to make a quick exit!

I understand why many places don't allow outside food, staff shouldn't have to clean up food left by children whose parents haven't even bought food for them.

If it's a baby with baby food, parents should clean up after them. Over two, actually buy something, and clean up any mess that is beyond what an older child or adult would make.

They are the worthless ones, not you. You are there, waiting on people to provide for your DC, you have a lot of worth by doing that. They lose their worth by treating people like that. I would certainly be disgusted with them if I saw it. I am someone who judges people on how they treat others.

I used to work in a cafe and the states some tables were left in was disgusting. Some favourite memories are having to clean up chewed chewing gum a woman had stuck to the table and another left behind her manky old shoes as she changed into a new pair. Middle aged women so it's not just young people.

Whenever I go out for food now I always ask for a dustpan and brush when my toddler makes a mess. The staff always say just to leave it and they will get it but it makes me feel better that I've actually acknowledged the mess and offered to brush it up.

This type of behaviour says more about them than you, they should be humiliated and you should be proud of yourself for not ever being like them. These mothers are clearly scum

This is a major bugbear of mine (and I’m someone in that demographic). In your shoes that debit card would’ve gone in the bin.

I ask for a dustpan and brush when it's a big mess. Thinking of the time she got let lose with a sausage roll in a nice country park cafe 😩

YANBU. I'm mum of a two year old and I hate this behaviour. Sure, waiting staff need to do normal clearing up but the kind kids make isn't normal, so I clear that up myself.

*loose

Oh I hate this attitude- YANBU- lots of mum’s I know are the same. So wrapped up in their kids they fail to notice. Often I’m cleaning up after mine and theirs because I’m too embarrassed to leave the table in such a state. Baby lead weaners who don’t clean up after themselves are the worst. It’s embarrassing to see!

YANBU.

I now regularly see parent waltz away leaving the tables and floor looking like there has been a food fight. It is disgusting that they think it is acceptable to leave any place like that. It is disgusting they think it’s acceptable to make that mess in the first place tbh!

I work in what is supposed to be a 'posh' cafe. The clientele think theyare definitely a few rungs above McDonalds

The mess left on the floor is a sight for sore eyes. This week we had a child projectile vomit on the floor and the Grandad did a runner after it happened, leaving a new lad to deal with it..

We regularily have huge groups of Mummies who stake out an area for hours at a time...and leave all this kiddy krud on the floor for us to clear up.

I cant believe they are so brazen and skutterish

Saw something similar the other day. Had lunch out and next to me was a table with a few women & young children. They left before I did and the table was pretty much as you've described, Server.

Whilst I enjoy the luxury of the occasional meal out, because I don't have to wash up, I certainly don't expect people to have to sweep the floor, wipe all the chairs and spend an inordinate amount of time clearing up a mess that I needn't have made or left.

That's just feral. When l go out with any of my friends we stack our crockery and any waste stuff, napkins, etc, on top, and put the lot on a tray if there is one. lf we've made any mess on the table we wipe it with a tissue or wet wipe.
And we say thank you as we're leaving.

This is the typical "Well someone's being paid to clean it, why should l?" attitude. lt's so rude and disrespectful.
And no, l'm not OCD or houseproud. But if l make a mess at home, l have to clean it up. l wouldn't be so entitled as to leave a public place like a pigsty for someone else who's likely on low wages.

I always clean up after ds and will make the effort to leave it as tidily as I can - we always did before we had him! We’d stack plates and put things together so they were easier to clear. I always offer to clean up and have asked for brushes and such. I’ve never been given one - they’ve always done it - but it wouldn’t occur to me to not ask.

It’s really annoying and unpleasant. I was on a flight once when someone left a shitty nappy on the side - not even taped up. It was obviously someone on the flight!

It’s rude and entitled and I am so with you!

If I wanted to clean up after myself I wouldn't go out for lunch

A significant number of people are surprisingly feral. And lazy.

It's not hard to eat in a manner that doesn't create a mess that even needs to be tidied up afterwards. And if you're eating out with young children, then you absolutely should tidy up their mess.

Just because you're in a restaurant or café, doesn't absolve you of your ability to behave like a functional human being.

It's bizarre that people don't want others to think they're even vaguely socially adept.

I've seen people do this and find it very annoying, I say this as a fellow customer. We always try to clean up when we go anywhere, we have 2 kids under 3 so on the odd occasion we do eat out there is often quite a mess. I'd never expect anyone to pick the food up my kids have dropped, I get down on my hands and knees with a napkin and pick it up the best I can. So what if I'm paying to eat out, the person providing the table service isn't there to clean up my kid's mess.

I generally get annoyed at people dropping litter, not taking their rubbish with them etc in public places, I guess some people are just entitled twats.

If I wanted to clean up after myself I wouldn't go out for lunch, not that I was ever in the habit Right, so its ok to be a pig and leave an unreasonable amount of mess for the waitress to clean up without attempting to clean up after yourself.